watering is required
Brandon talks of sour cream. Collin talks of watering. Pip remembers his portable property.
Watering is required
Tangential to the weather
Sour cream corner
What Brandon overheard in 6th grade…
Get you’re arm out of my pocket
Dude that’s my pocket
Pip does something stupid
Collin Haiku:
Avalanche of floors
Shifting all our best-laid plans
Endless options now
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A VERY ROUGH TRANSCRIPT OF THE EPISODE
PROVIDED BY OTTER.AI
SUMMARY KEYWORDS
weather, ferns, basement, electrotherapy, news contract, sour cream, Daisy, Great Expectations, Orlick, Magwitch, escape plan, portable property, character motivation, haiku, flooring, flooring options, floor unevenness, resale value, dark floor, modern sensibility, countertops, under-mount sink, insert sink, kitchen remodel, flooring installation, design philosophy, project costs, home renovation, custom cut, industrial kitchen
SPEAKERS
Collin Funkhouser, Brandon
Collin Funkhouser 00:00
Hey, welcome to Oh brother, the podcast where we try to figure it all out with your hosts, Brandon and Collin on this week's show, watering is required. Ahoy. Ahoy. What's going on?
Brandon 00:22
Oh, not a lot, really. Oh, trying to deal with this weather. Is it hot? Is it cold? Is it hot? No one knows. It's a complete mystery.
Collin Funkhouser 00:31
The answer is yes, just remember the answer
Brandon 00:34
is yesterday, yeah. Is there a freeze warning tonight?
Collin Funkhouser 00:40
Yeah. Was it? Yeah, I don't know any. I don't know anymore, either. I'm just, you know, I'm just here along for the ride. It's very mysterious. Yeah, we so we overwintered our ferns. Stop me, if I've told the story we overwintered our ferns in our basement.
Brandon 01:04
Okay, are they? Me? That's good?
Collin Funkhouser 01:06
Yeah, I know channeled our inner grandma, but wasn't I don't know what kind of ferns we have, but it wasn't the fuzzy ferns that she had. Our ferns were the ones you find, like in a gully, or whatever they look just
Brandon 01:24
like, oh, perhaps, yes, perhaps in a gully, yes,
Collin Funkhouser 01:28
as one is, want to find ferns in beef and I am. We were like, Oh, we can overwinter these mostly because I was like, Dad puts his in his basement so
Brandon 01:40
they all totally don't look completely dead,
Collin Funkhouser 01:43
exactly, surely, this will be totally fine. And I put ours in our basement, and then promptly forgot that they were there.
Brandon 01:53
You still have to, like, water them at
Collin Funkhouser 01:56
some point. Yeah. See this is the thing is that watering is still required. Yeah, now they do think about plants to go dormant. It is it is known. And so the one difference between dad's basement my basement is he goes into his basement a lot. Is a crucial
Brandon 02:15
difference. I
Collin Funkhouser 02:18
I never go into my basement. And so I don't know, I feel
Brandon 02:23
like we've talked about your basement awful lot of the show. Collin, well, I feel like that's a weird thing to say for someone who, quote, never goes into the basement.
Collin Funkhouser 02:32
I mean, items are stored there. But generally I only go into the basement whenever I need to pull something out of deep storage, which isn't very often.
02:43
It is internet thing, like, it
Collin Funkhouser 02:46
is, it is, which is more often, more often. It is not often enough, though, to have ferns. And so we had them sitting, like, literally, I think it was like, over two months. And then I went into the basement, I was like, Oh yeah, there's, there's those ferns that are now, like, very dead. And of course, they had shed all their little leaves all over. Everything was brown and crispy. And I was like, Oops, well, and of course, that was like a month and a half ago when I rediscovered the ferns in my basement. And so I went, Well, I'm gonna I can't take it by now because it's still winter and it's cold, and I don't know what to do with these. I'm just gonna wait till weather gets better. They're not hurting anybody here in the basement, so I'll just get back to those. And this week, I did remove them and took them outside. And while they were sitting on my back deck, I looked and behold and Fern fiddle was coming up out of the chaos was growing yonder fern. And then that's whenever I read about how you're actually supposed to overwinter ferns.
Brandon 04:05
And it's good that you read that after after, good job.
Collin Funkhouser 04:09
It turns out, with these kind of ferns, you're supposed to, like, shave them all the way down to, like, cut them down, okay, and then put them in a deep, dark place and, like, water them one time, okay, and then never touch them. So I had done unintentionally all but one of those steps, yeah, so, so now the ferns are on our back deck, a ferning, only now for the freeze warnings to be coming out, and me hurriedly remembering to bring the packets,
Brandon 04:45
bring them inside tonight.
Collin Funkhouser 04:50
Oh my goodness. So yeah, our ferns, our ferns are well, if I sound a bit more electrified, I am currently being shocked. I. Quite a bit right now,
Brandon 05:04
not ground the microphone. No,
Collin Funkhouser 05:06
this is intentionally. I, it turns out, may have at some point, pinched and nerve or messed up something in my shoulder and neck. And so part of this is I did get to, had a wonderful massage, saw chiropractor, and now I'm having a 10s unit shock, shock the dickens out of my shoulder. Hey, dad
Brandon 05:36
here, and Bobby and everyone, our entire family. What conversations is mildly terrifying, like,
Collin Funkhouser 05:43
so I'm really, really feeling the burn right now.
Brandon 05:49
Yeah, they go, at least he'll be proud of you. When he tried to put that stupid thing on me at Christmas, I was like, either I don't feel literally anything, or my arm is like convulsing. Please get this away from me. He was offended by that. I was like, No, I don't want electroshock therapy right now. Please don't.
Collin Funkhouser 06:10
Well, normally, I wouldn't. However, did consult with physicians and doctors, and they're like, look, the best thing you can do now is like ice. However, because there is some muscle ish stuff involved with however, I slept, because, let's be real, that's exactly what happened. I wasn't running from a bear,
Brandon 06:36
lifting a car off of a kitten, right? Exactly.
Collin Funkhouser 06:39
It's what I did. Yeah, no, I think I just rolled over aggressively in my sleep too swiftly. I did a swift rollover and threw my neck and shoulder out. And so they're like, Yeah, this won't hurt. Go ahead and do this. It'll help do that, because some of the muscles are, like, real tight, and whatever in there, and and I can't, I can't, I can't feel the left side of my thumb. So that's like, you know? Like, oh, not. That's problematic. Not good. It's a bit problematic. Yeah, that's not great. No, no, not, not great. So I said, You know what? Sure, I'll, I'll try shocking my arm. That sounds like what I need to be doing every evening.
07:23
No, it's fine. It's fine, yes, but I
Collin Funkhouser 07:26
just, I just thought I'd let you know, in case I sounded a bit more
Brandon 07:30
electrified. In case you all said me, like, Wow.
Collin Funkhouser 07:35
No, yeah, this little unit, it has intensity settings from zero to 15. And I
Brandon 07:44
will tell you, wow, take that spinal
Collin Funkhouser 07:47
tap. I know right
Brandon 07:49
11 who basically,
Collin Funkhouser 07:52
basically intensities zero through eight are the exact same then, and I'm not going to this isn't an official product review, but from nine to 12, you get you really feel it. And then at 13 to 15, again, they feel the exact same. But it is. It is a logistical growth in intensity. Once you go from 12 to 13,
Brandon 08:25
I don't know, you need a logarithmic escalation. It's not
Collin Funkhouser 08:28
really what, no, no. It is log, yeah, it's like, it's like, again, like, it's this long tail of like, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing. Okay, you little bump. But the 12 to 13, yeah, and I, because I was, like,
Brandon 08:44
exponential growth function of the 10s unit that's,
Collin Funkhouser 08:49
I don't, I don't know what algorithm they're using to, you know, to work through that curve, but it needs a bit of fine tuning.
Brandon 08:57
It be the right one? It might, I think
Collin Funkhouser 08:59
it might be wrong. I think you were looking at the acceleration curve for an f1 call, okay,
Brandon 09:08
ranking parameters at Monaco, right?
Collin Funkhouser 09:14
Yeah, I think that's what they were more modeling here instead of dosing of electricity. So their data
Brandon 09:21
swaps, right? Yes, maybe they looked at the electric recovery chart from the breaking right? Oh, they did that.
Collin Funkhouser 09:30
That's what we need. But in reverse, yeah, what if we did that? I think that be good. So anyway, so we'll see. We'll see. I've got that on and running only allows you to run it 15 minutes at a time before you have to take a break, and so probably I have six minutes remaining. Okay, there you go. Anyway. What's other than the other than the weather and anything new? Yeah, well, actually,
Brandon 10:01
this is a conversation tangential to the weather, but I was talking with so my mother in law currently is, like, having a fit. Oh, no, so not just because of her husband, right, although it's number one, right? But, like, I don't know if you know about this, but like, currently, like, Dish Network and NBC are in contract limbo, right? And so that means that she cannot watch the news that she wants to watch. Oh no, there is no KY three for her currently. And of course, this is the end of the entire world.
10:50
Well, Collin
Brandon 10:51
has 200 channels, but because she can't get the KY three news, she is like, exploring every avenue humanly possible to try to get this into her life, right? And it is hilarious. But to hear her talk about, like, we just had dinner with her logo, right? To hear her talk about the inferiority that is happening on CBS, like, I can't imagine. This is not, this is local news channels, all right, yeah. Like, this is like, which it's, she's just like, well, the weather's just not the same. Like, it they're all, they're getting the exact same weather from the National Weather Service. Like, I don't really know, like, what you're talking about? She's like, well, their news stories are weird. I was like, I don't I don't know how to explain to a woman who is almost 90 years old that there are like three media outlets. Like, every single news organization in the entire United States is owned by like three people. So, like, it's all the same. It doesn't matter. Which is why your local news has a bunch of like, weird stories about, like, Philadelphia, a place where you don't live,
Collin Funkhouser 12:09
and how they all have like, the same language around certain
Brandon 12:12
things too. Yeah, if you were to watch them at the same time, they would be, like, the same. They would read the same teleprompter, right? Like it's just the same, so, like, I can't explain to her that all news is actually just propaganda. Surprise. I don't know why you were surprised by this, but it is, and that it's like, it's owned by the same, like three people and and she will not have it. She is just an absolute fit that the NBC local news, the KY three news team, is not on her television, and she is like freaking out.
Collin Funkhouser 12:55
How, I hate how. How is she taking the news of Ron Hearst?
Brandon 13:00
Oh, not great, right? Number one, she got to hear that second hand because she couldn't see it live. This is the woman that watches the news at 5689, right? Like, this is like, oh, thing so, like, yes, the fact that Ronald Hearst is going off the air, is retiring from weather forecasting on KY three news is not sitting well with her
Collin Funkhouser 13:30
after 4040, years. We don't
Brandon 13:34
need to talk about that, okay? Because I remember Tom die and I don't, I'm not happy about this. I know they were on simultaneously for a while, right? I know that happened. But, like, yeah, that is a thing. But she's more, she is more concerned. She was, like, the most concerned about Brandon Beck, right? She's like, What about brain? Okay, so at least, at least there's like, so she was a, she kind of freaked out a bit. She's, like, they're not all going out. Like, yeah, it was very earned, you don't know, huh? So that's rough. It's a rough time over there. And so she's, she's just in, and she's just having a big fit about this whole situation, and it is absolutely hilarious to me, because every time she asks me questions about this, and I just look at her and go, I don't watch the news, she is so appalled by that statement. Yeah, how can you What do you mean? Yeah, she's like, so shocked, right? Like, we've had this conversation multiple times, right? But she's just always like, but why? Because it's awful. I don't know why.
Collin Funkhouser 14:59
Yeah, it's. Not, yeah, it's so it's so hard. I first plugged in and stuff, much stuff that I follow online anymore, like I have had to just pull back on a lot of things, because it's just not worth following. You know, most of the time, anything? No, because,
Brandon 15:23
like, you need to know, like, what's happening. But like, that's kind of it. I don't need you to tell me some things. Like, I just don't want them explained to me in a newsy way. Because, number one, it is just propagandized, just like, to oblivion, sure, right? Or they're not telling you, like all the important parts that you need to know, right? They're just telling you
Collin Funkhouser 15:46
that I really they wouldn't leave out. No, I
Brandon 15:50
know. I know. Imagine crazy,
Collin Funkhouser 15:53
shocked gambling. You say, yeah,
Brandon 15:56
yeah, yeah, right. Then you get a gambling ad in there, right? And then Ted Koppel is furious, but what? But speaking of ads, Collin, oh, I may have seen the most horrendously distressing commercial of all time, and I need your thoughts on this. I'm ready, as if this this podcast episode currently wasn't Midwest enough that we were talking about the weather and weather stations. Collin, I need to talk to you about sour cream for a minute.
Collin Funkhouser 16:35
Okay, okay, okay, sour cream corner, let's bring it out. This is a
Brandon 16:42
this is a condiment that confuses me, right? Because it is marketed as being for literally everything, yeah, and yet I want it on nothing, right? Like, I don't know what is happening here, right? Like, there's certain places where it belongs, okay, like certain like Eastern European dishes, where it goes and, like other things. But I was watching the commercial right and there, there was, there, there's this commercial is for DAISY sour cream, right? This is, this kills our Daisy sponsorship, right here.
Collin Funkhouser 17:26
Wow, I'll let me see if I can go resend the email, okay,
Brandon 17:31
but, uh, their commercial is just like a bunch of people at some sort of like pot looking dinner, attempting to use cottage or sour cream in, like every single dish Sure, right? And like the first one was a woman who was mixing sour cream and ketchup to dip her potato wedges in.
18:02
Um, yes, I,
Brandon 18:04
I, I had this. I was like, what I like, literally, pause it. It was like, That can't be what I just saw, right? I can't have just seen
Collin Funkhouser 18:15
no, no, that's not okay.
Brandon 18:18
What is what is going on, like, I don't that can't be real. It can't be true. They were like, oh, blah, blah, do the thing. And the closing shot is a different woman who appears to be dipping her strawberries in sour cream?
Collin Funkhouser 18:42
No, yes, no, no, yes, no,
Brandon 18:48
yeah, no. And I, I can't. I can't figure out why they would do that, right, like, I don't, I don't really know where, like, sour cream goes but like even on their website, they feature this, this sour cream ketchup phenomenon, right? Try dipping the wedges into a mixture of Daisy sour cream and ketchup. That's literally their hot tip here,
19:17
right? No, it's, well,
Collin Funkhouser 19:20
no veto, right? No, I think we can speak for all of humanity and say,
Brandon 19:26
This is what I'm saying. They've gone too far, right? This feels like all right. Collin, I can see you can discover the full recipe here. I have enough stress, but like, again, I'm not just the biggest like sour cream person, but there are some places where it belongs or where it is tolerable, okay, there are some places that they are trying to force this upon you in a method that that cannot be you. Legal right here. Collin on their website, their very website. This is a recipe for cheesy Fettuccine Alfredo featuring sour cream. Every Italian in the world just cried. Okay, I need you to know what crimes are happening here, Italy. Okay, I need this.
Collin Funkhouser 20:23
Is what we are struggling with over here, what we're dealing with, yeah,
Brandon 20:27
okay, what is this? What is this? Is? Oh no, oh no, Italy, I have bad news for you, right? This one is a cannoli dip,
Collin Funkhouser 20:39
even better,
Brandon 20:41
which appears to actually be free cheering cottage cheese instead. I don't know how I got off this thing, but that's not better, okay? There's not better, no, that's worse. It's not great, right? So I don't know they I don't. There's just, it just appears in a lot of places where I don't think it should be right. It's not like it could keep, like, you know, put a little in, like, a tomato soup, okay, whatever. That's fine. I believe it's important for Bush, all right, but, like, I don't know. So there's, there's no reason there should be a pie in this list, right? There should not be, well, peaches and cream pie, where one of the ingredients is three quarters of a cup of Daisy sour cream, right?
Collin Funkhouser 21:35
That cups. This should exist. This is, I just want us all to recognize that we are living in a timeline where not but from the 60s and 70s, the heyday or whatever, where we had, or, I guess it was older than that. We had jello salads.
Brandon 21:57
Feels like that.
Collin Funkhouser 21:58
This feels as right, yes, as you're talking, I'm like, Yeah, this is the, this is the salad that was the jello with the pineapple and the cottage cheese, right? Like, we're all, yes, Are we all in this right now, we're all seeing that. This is just Daisy, just throwing stuff at the wall, trying to convince us to make this work. Like, that's all they're doing, right?
Brandon 22:19
That's what's happening here? Yes, right there. I don't sour cream does not belong in cookies, right? This is a cookie with some sort of sour cream frosting, right? What is happening here? What is going on? I will
Collin Funkhouser 22:37
use sour cream Sure. I will Midwestern up my tacos a little bit. That's fine. Like, okay, like, I'll put them on some tacos. That's about only. Potato, baked potato, sure. Some sour cream there.
Brandon 22:54
How about Lemon? Lemon? Pound cake.
Collin Funkhouser 22:57
See that kind of crosses, a Rubicon there.
Brandon 23:03
Collin, what about? What about Black Forest waffles?
Collin Funkhouser 23:06
See also two, that's a boundary water. I can't I can't afford, yeah, no, thank you. See, it's that stuff. It's that stuff.
Brandon 23:23
Just build the bridge back and take it down again. Nope.
Collin Funkhouser 23:26
You know what? I'm fine burning the boats. I don't need to go over there. I didn't want that in my life.
Brandon 23:37
No, thank you. I just needed, I just needed you to go down this rabbit hole with me for a minute and and just not just have like mad beef with like this, because I can't deal with a lot of this knowing that these things exist, right, and I don't know right? The word French onion, potatoes au gratin. Don't need sour cream in it. Okay? I don't think the French would like that. Pretty sure they're not okay,
Collin Funkhouser 24:10
yeah. Also no, you know, it hurts so much
Brandon 24:21
it does. So there's me down. There's like spiraling well of terror, right, where I just was more and more appalled and thinking about jello molds all the same.
Collin Funkhouser 24:38
That's what I'm saying. Like, gosh, like the,
Brandon 24:45
like the jello mold it's made with, like the, like the Spaghettios, right? You know, yes, yes. Tell all these abominations are created by companies to try to sell you their product in a new way. Days that they think you want, but you don't actually, you just want to put sour cream on, like a mashed potato, or like a baked potato, right? That's all you want, really, okay, maybe some like Midwest, like enchiladas, okay, that's kind of all, really, nowhere else. Definitely not a lemon pancake, it definitely not there. No, oh my gosh. I just,
Collin Funkhouser 25:35
yeah, this is, this is where you just, like, you want to just shut the door on it and be like, I want to to not know that that world exists over there, because my life was happier before I saw this. And I can't take this out of my mind right now. I can't take there are people out there who are waking up going, you know what my secret ingredient for my waffle recipe is? Yeah,
Brandon 25:59
that's not that should never be a sentence, no, right? It's that's not okay, don't no, no, no, just no. Ah. So like I that's what I really need to share with you this week. Collin, you know, school's feeling fine doing whatever I was appalled by this television commercial that I saw, and I just couldn't let it go. And I just
Collin Funkhouser 26:33
Nope. I don't want any of that. Did you? Did you overhear anything in in sixth grade this week?
Brandon 26:44
Oh, boy did I ever? Oh, boy. Oh, boy did I ever, okay? So, okay, man, all right, I don't. I may not have one next week, because we have spring break next week, so we're looking at school for like, a little bit. So we may we have a break here. We'll see. We'll see how it goes. You never know what's gonna happen. But, like, so just forewarned, we may not have one next week because the segment may take a bit of a spring break. But this was a combination conversation between two girls, okay, okay, you ready? Girl, a, get your arm out of my pocket. Dude, that's my pocket.
27:39
Okay? So
Brandon 27:48
what was actually happening here is that, like, Girl A was wearing the hoodie of girl B, and girl B wanted it back because she was cold, sure, right? A girl a sort of, like, got her hair stuck in the hoodie, right? Like, as this swap was occurring, I just they were doing this, and that's what they said. They were like, get your arm out of my pocket. No, dude, that's my pocket.
Collin Funkhouser 28:18
That's my pocket. Oh, because it was because it was
Brandon 28:23
her, the hoodie pocket that we're talking about here, right? There was just all kinds of weird things happening. And I was very confused, yeah, but yeah, there you go.
Collin Funkhouser 28:34
That's amazing. Oh my gosh. Oh yeah, that's
Brandon 28:47
Oh my goodness, it was ridiculous. So yes, there they go. That was the weirdness that I had yesterday. So they go,
Collin Funkhouser 29:07
Well, yeah, well, I was
Brandon 29:08
being awareness,
Collin Funkhouser 29:09
oh, oh my, okay, so we Yeah, continue something with Mr. Pip here,
Brandon 29:23
yeah, it's called deus ex machina. That is what is happening.
Collin Funkhouser 29:29
Because, dude what, dude, no, like, literally, dude what this.
Brandon 29:38
These are the most contrived. Like plot things of all time, fantastic, right? It's there is no reason for any of this to actually occur, right? Like, think about like character. Motivations, right? They attempt to explain one of them, but like, that's real weak. I don't, I don't really, I don't really, I don't know. And then the second, holy cow, what in the world? Just like, Oh yeah, okay, here go. Like, where did this absolutely doesn't make any sense, right? Like, it's just my opinion, right? Maybe, maybe I don't get it. Man, I don't know. But, like, yeah,
Collin Funkhouser 30:31
you've never been there. Man, nobody's
Brandon 30:33
ever been here, because nothing like this has ever happened, ever because it doesn't make any sense, right? So know that I feel like, I feel like, Dickens gets a lot of praise for theme and constructing a wicked sentence, right? And I would say that's fair, fair, right? But as far as plot goes, plot devices, I'm gonna have to say, all right, homie, listen up. Like, it's good to know, right? Again, this is the oldest book we've read here, right? It's like 1850 or whatever. Like, it's good to see that these tropes that people call out in modern day novels have existed forever, right? Like, again, the phrase deus ex machina is Greek, so, like, that tells you something that we're just, like, going for here. Yeah, Lord. All right, let's just start. So before here, he gets his mysterious letter that's like, Yo, you should meet me at this Random House thing out on the marshes, you know, where unsigned, right? And pips like, Yeah, I'm totally going to that. What?
Brandon 31:58
Well, dude, what is the matter with you? What on earth were you like, yeah, that's a great plan. Let's go totally like, I don't,
Collin Funkhouser 32:14
you know? Oh my gosh, I don't. Well. Well, so wait,
Brandon 32:19
hold on, we saw that we read 52 5250 before, right? Yes. Okay, so anyway, yeah, he comes back, sorry. He gets the 52 is basically nothing, right?
Collin Funkhouser 32:30
He gets the check. He goes, and he's like, don't tell anybody about this. Yada yada yada. And what is that? That's pretty much it. You're right, there's nothing. And he
Brandon 32:40
goes like this is where he gets the note, right. If you are not afraid to come to the old marshes tonight or tomorrow night at nine and to come to the little sluice house by the lime kiln, you had better come. If you want information regarding your uncle Provis, you had much better come and tell no one and lose no time. You must come alone, bring this with you. Yes. And so he's like, Okay, I'm going,
Collin Funkhouser 33:08
why? Right? Like, he's claiming that he's like, all in a tizzy because he was doing all these preparations to get to move Provis, right? So he's like, they're doing all of this stuff. He gets this and for some reason, he's just like, yeah, I gotta go and do
Brandon 33:34
this thing, even though it's gonna, like, totally interfere with his plan of, like, fleeing, right? They're like, in flea mode, he kind of, and
Collin Funkhouser 33:43
he kind of, he kind of, like, it's almost like, he gets this because he's, he's complaining about how everything's so fast, and he's, doesn't have time for anything. He gets this letter that's like, hey, come out to the marshes. I could imagine a scene now where he checks his watch and goes, Yeah, I got time. Yeah, I'll be good. I'm fine. Well, surely this will be fun.
Brandon 34:04
It's fun. And like, yeah, it's ridiculous. And it doesn't make any sense. He's like, Yeah, I gotta go. And so he just goes, right? We don't get this weird interlude where he's, like, talking to somebody at the inn, right? And so, yeah,
Collin Funkhouser 34:21
this one, we're about pumblechook Because he doesn't go to the blue boar because he doesn't want to be known. Yeah, he goes to a lesser of quality. And the guy that he's talking to is like, talking to him about how pumblechook, I guess, is still is telling everybody about how he made the young man in his fortune, right? Yes. But also, also, there's a wonderful line in here about how pumblechook is also kind of complaining that PIP doesn't come and see him or anything. I. Because PIP has this moment of he says, where he thought, yet Joe, dear Joe, you never tell of it. Long suffering and loving Joe. You never complain, nor you sweet tempered Biddy. And then he goes on to say, is, I had never been struck at so keenly for my thanklessness to Joe as through the brazen imposter of pumblechook. Because here he has pumblechook, who is outwardly saying that PIP should be thanking him and for all this stuff and putting, you know, puffing himself up. Meanwhile, Joe and bitty and everything that they did for him, they're not asking for praise or recognition at all.
Brandon 35:39
Yeah, he says the false. Are he the truer Joe? The meaner? He the nobler Joe? Right? Like, yes, yep, we get that. And then like, and the only other inkling that we have, right, we get one throwaway line here. It's like, I felt in my pocket for the note, but I didn't have it. I must have dropped it. Oh, well anyway, yep, that's it. That's the only thing that we get to tie us into what's gonna happen later, right? Like the old like, what is,
Collin Funkhouser 36:06
like, yep. And then he this chapter ends with the towards the marshes. I now went straight having no time to spare. Yes, you could have just not gone. You could have not gone.
Brandon 36:18
I don't think this was key, because you're, like, leaving, like, tomorrow anyway. So, like, what is happening? What? Like, yeah, so, so anyway we go. It's dark, it's night, blah, blah. There's weird, like, we have a long thing about this, about how he's walking out for forever. He's walking for like a half an hour, also, like a way out in middle nowhere.
Collin Funkhouser 36:46
Also, can I? Can I point out something? What does he pass along the way out here? I don't remember cows. Oh yeah. Does anyone remember the last time he encountered cows and how he talked about them.
Brandon 37:02
Oh yeah, I forgot all about
Collin Funkhouser 37:04
that I did too, until it just, it just went passing by and then, because the last time he encountered cows was whenever he was sneaking out to go to the well, we now know Provis, right, yeah, and how he felt like all of the countryside and cows we were watching him and on high alert. And now we have the childishness of that is completely gone, right? And, and now he's just out doing his thing. Yeah, I
Brandon 37:34
forgot all about that. Look at there. Wow. Ah. Anyway, he gets to the place, it's all creepy. There's like, barely the light on the air, and he's like, I'll go in. Great. And he's Collin around, hello, hello, right? It's such a rain, right? And he like, picks up, like he leaves, but then he like, turns around, candle, right? He was like, well, there's nothing here, so, like, he was considering that he may go out, right? And so he turns around, and he's like, Oh, I'm gonna check and see how where the candles at, to see if, like, they've left recently, and we see how long the wick is, right. And then, haha, I have you now has been sprung, bam, right? And we he has been I
Collin Funkhouser 38:40
detained by, wait, don't know, right now somebody, he's
Brandon 38:50
gotten a mystery person for like, two
Collin Funkhouser 38:53
more paragraphs. His arm is hurting because it's pinned down his burned arms, right? Well, and
Brandon 38:59
then this is a mildly bizarre, like, you could tell that this is like, like, the way this is written, this gave me vibes of, like, the person doing this is relatively inept because, like, it's all dark now, because he has odd him, oh yeah, I think he, like, can't get anything else lit, like, he can't Flint and steal, he can't strike it, jumping around trying to light it again. It's like, so all he's hearing is like breathing and like sec and see like shower of sparks and like nothing else,
Collin Funkhouser 39:28
it really is fantastic. And so it's like,
Brandon 39:31
and then, and then it was revealed, right presently, I saw the blue lips again, breathing on the Tinder. And then a flare of light flashed up and showed me
39:44
or lick or lick. Ah,
Brandon 39:49
yes, of course, right? You know who else? Who else could it be? Good old, literally, anyone?
Collin Funkhouser 39:58
Literally, I. And Orlick is not he's not sober, is what I'll say.
Brandon 40:05
That's true, right? That's the only really redeeming plot point of this. Is he is, like, completely sloshed, right? Yeah. But he's like, my enemy is here. And he's like, I will now kill you. You're like, ah,
Collin Funkhouser 40:22
what? Yeah, okay,
Brandon 40:25
what is this escalation? Brother,
Collin Funkhouser 40:29
well, and basically orlix argument throughout this is, you took basically you bitty, won't, doesn't like me because of you, and I can't get a job around here because of you, because remember, remember Orlick was a gatekeeper at Habersham and and PIP wrote, and was like, No, you don't want that guy. He's no good. So he got fired from his job. He also can't get the girl that he wants, and so or like, is just out to get Pip, because PIP has just ruined his life, apparently,
Brandon 41:07
yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, yeah, you you bitty doesn't like me, not because I'm, like, 30 years older than she is, and a creepy old man, no, no. It's not that, it's that you told her to not like me.
Collin Funkhouser 41:27
Also, I did kill your sister, yeah,
Brandon 41:30
also I did kill your sister. So yes, that is the other revelation I get here, right? Is it? I did. In fact, I'm going to kill you like I killed your sister. So like all of these things that I'm mad at you about, you're 100% justified
41:45
in being. Yeah, you have every right. Right.
Brandon 41:49
He confessed he's like, I murdered your sister, and I probably would have done bad things at habersham's house, and I would do I would be horrible to video, but it's your fault
Collin Funkhouser 42:03
that I didn't have the opportunity to be a horrible person.
Brandon 42:07
Like, wait a minute, like, so you're telling me that all of the things that he, quote, unquote, stopped you from doing, he was 100% justified in doing that. Yeah, but you're going to kill him again. The only really redeeming device we have here is that he is sloshed, right? Like, otherwise, like, even then, this barely makes any sense at all, right? Like, I'm gonna lure you out here to this shed, like, 15 years after,
Collin Funkhouser 42:41
oh, and he's like, apparently, like he was the one that he stumbled over in the dark that one night. He's Oh yeah, because, randomly, because everybody's connected in this book, compuesan is like his like, best buddy,
42:58
whatever, each other now
Collin Funkhouser 42:59
they know each other like he followed him. He somehow got mixed up in that group of people. And because he's, like, I'm just as much as match a match for you as there's another as a match for Provis. Basically, you know, like, I'm, you're, we're the ying and yang here. We're the Batman and Joker together in all this. Like, of course, sure that makes total sense, that you, you just fall in same alignment with the arch enemy of Provis, sure
Brandon 43:30
of everybody, every other character in the book and Habersham, right? And like all this, right? You know you're the the guy who's responsible for Pip's life being bad, basically, because, like, he, he messed up Miss Havisham and made her all weird, and then she took all that out on Estella. And then PIP loved to sell up, but she'll never love anybody, because habership might, like, mess her all up, of course, or like, had to fall in with that guy, like, because, you know, why would he not just, you know, a guy who is also just in like, super duper hiding and nobody knows if he's even alive, of course, or like, knows him, right? Why would he not know, like, what
Collin Funkhouser 44:12
the heck yes. And throughout this, it's really interesting because, or like is having his his normal like, Orlick is doing his bad guy solo here, like he's going off
Brandon 44:33
soliloquy, explaining the plot, explaining the plan, yes, before he kills him, right? This is also the trope that I thought was really hilarious, great. And it was like, tied, he's tied to a ladder.
Collin Funkhouser 44:45
Yes, I think, yeah.
Brandon 44:48
And he's just, like, explaining every single detail of the entire reason he's doing this before he, like, kills him, shoots him, question mark, I don't, yeah.
Collin Funkhouser 44:59
Well. He doesn't, but, but he, but PIP is not really listening like he's kind of angry. But he goes through the stuff where he's not going to give him the satisfaction of screaming and stuff later, but he's like, like, he said, my mind was inconceivably rapid, rapidity following out of the consequences of such a death. And then he starts like, he's really, like, not all that present, like he's thinking about bitty and Joe
Brandon 45:27
and like, doesn't even care what Orlick is saying, right? Yeah, and you don't even matter. Like, what a huge matter. Yeah, he's, you know?
Collin Funkhouser 45:35
He says, Joe and bitty would never know how sorry I had been that night. None would ever know what I had suffered, how true I had meant to be, what an agony I had passed through the death close before me was terrible, but far more terrible than death was the dread of being misremembered after death,
Brandon 45:53
ooh, ooh, partially because of the thing with pumtoch earlier, or about pummel Chuck earlier? Yeah, he's still thinking about that, right? And he's just, he's like, Well, yeah, dog's gonna suck, but it also sucks that this guy's gonna kill him because he's a
Collin Funkhouser 46:12
loser, yeah, yeah. And so he's, he's, this is his, like, deep reflection, internal stuff, of like, these people that I'm not the person. I'm not the I'm internally I'm not the kind of person that everybody thinks I am based off of my external actions, which it's like, hey buddy. Like, those two are related. We need to be very honest about that. Like, sure, but that's what he's focused on, of being misremembered by people of you know, because, hey, how are Joe and bitty going to remember him? They never came back, you know, he, he wasn't. He never wrote. He all this stuff. So yeah, it's yeah, anyway,
Brandon 46:55
yeah, I don't know, like and then my cash. Okay? So, yes, he's, he's dealing with this. He's, he's accepting this, right? He's yelling about, like, I know who you're, I know that Provis is Magwitch, yes, I know his name, right? And like, I don't know what he says alive in the same land with them, and that's had such sure information on him when he was alive in another land, and that he couldn't and shouldn't leave it unbeknownst and put them in danger. Perhaps it's them that writes 50 hands, and that's not like sneaking you as rights, but one, what, like, what?
Collin Funkhouser 47:41
What are you talking about? He says this, like, two or three more times. What is this? Is he talking about, like, letters of I don't know, because
Brandon 47:51
I think he also was talking about, like, fate, right? Because he's like, Where, where, compison Magwitch and the gallows, right? He's like, they're all connected, right? He's like, where one is the other will be, and they're gonna both go to the gallows, right?
Collin Funkhouser 48:04
Yeah, I know, yeah. And, and he keeps flashing to pip, like he goes the song thing, and then it flashes to pip. And PIP is picturing Millbank pond and chinks basin and the old green copper rope walk, all so clear and plain. Provis in his rooms, the signal whose use was over, pretty Clara. And, you know, life running out to sea, and then it jumps to Orlick you with an uncle, too, why? And it just this kind of cut scenes of where PIP is thinking and reminiscing and going through this and these important parts and aspects of his life.
Brandon 48:41
It's so weird, right? It's just so back and forth and jumbled and ridiculous. And then it gets more ridiculous, because, right? Pip decides he's gonna, like, try to fight back a little bit, right? He like shouts, and he struggled against the thing, but it really hurts his arm, and then, like, he kind of falls and then the door flies opened, right, yeah, and there's figures that rush in and or Like, like stumbles out, and then, like, runs away, what, what? And he, like, gets up, he recovered. He gets knocked out because he falls right, and then he sees the faces that have saved him, and it's stinging Herbert, Herbert and startop, where? What? Traps boy. Traps boy.
Collin Funkhouser 49:48
What in the world. And I love how okay Herbert, I can understand I was obviously I was hoping Joe would be. Year, I was hoping Joe would show up, but he didn't. That's fine. We got Herbie and start
Brandon 50:06
tart top we haven't heard of in like, a billion years, because it's the last time we saw him at the club or when dining with Mr. Jaggers. Is that was it at the last time, like 80,000 chapters ago.
Collin Funkhouser 50:23
Feels like, was that, or was it at the was it the when he was in town last and he was being bothered by startop, who was kind of taunting him off, like coming close and mimicking him as he was walking around? Wasn't that,
Brandon 50:41
no, oh, that wasn't. That wasn't. That was Travis boy, wasn't it?
Collin Funkhouser 50:47
Yes, that's, that's who, this is the face of, yeah, but
Brandon 50:51
startop is also there, right? Who's a different person? Or, No, he's not here? No, yeah, he is. And our old comrade, Star top, he's the guy, oh, ate dinner with Jaggers. Oh, and daily, sorry, he's just like the other guy.
Collin Funkhouser 51:05
The other guy, yes, yes, sorry, yeah. So we got start off that in trabs Boy, who's the local, local kid, yeah, local guy,
Brandon 51:13
yeah, cuz Travis, the guy that was like the store, yes, sorry. Okay, yeah. And then we have also the star top guy, which, again, what the heck kind of name is this? Like, surely this can't be his actual name. Like, what is going on? Like, I can't, like, I can't believe that we have characters named Bitly, Drummle and then another character just named star, top. Star, top. What is that? Oh, anyway, yes, the three right. Boom, they come right, and there we go. And he kind of does freak out because he's like, What day? Like, he doesn't know how long he's been knocked out. He's like, what is it? Oh, my God. They're like, bro, it's like, five minutes later. Yeah, you're fine. You're fine. It's awesome. And so, so what has happened is that they like the letter that he had lost was just laying on the floor of the house. Yep, he had dropped it, and Herbert found that, and then he read the note that he left for Herbert, finding them to be incongruous. Herbert's like, well, guess better go follow him. And I love that. He's like, Well, yeah, and
Brandon 52:42
he's like, Oh, I just rounded up star top too, because, you know he was walking. He was like, going home with him anyway. And he's like, Hey, you're coming
Collin Funkhouser 52:51
with me. Yep, I love that,
Brandon 52:53
because they were enlisting him in the whole Provost thing anyway. So he was like, talking to him anyway. He was like, just there. He's like, Hey, you got to come. On. And then they found Travis boy at the boar when they were walking around looking for
Collin Funkhouser 53:10
him, because they lost him at the havershams,
Brandon 53:13
yeah. And then
Collin Funkhouser 53:15
they just Oh. He said they were in the boar boar among the loungers under the boars archway, happened to be trabb's Boy, true to his ancient habit of happening to be everywhere where he had no business. But luckily, it's it was good because trav's Boy had happened to see him passing and knew which direction he had went.
Brandon 53:38
Yes, like, Oh my goodness. Is, and then, and then they're like, Herbert's like, Hey, we should go find the magistrate. And they're like, No, we can't, because, you know, they might detain us, and then they might be a while. So, yeah, so they're just like, anyway, time to go. Gotta go. This is Monday. Tuesday is spent, like, healing up, right? He's just, like, resting his arms. His arm hurts now because it was like, tied to the ladder, right? Yeah, so, like he was doing okay, until he was lashed to a ladder, and then this made him not okay, which, you know, fair enough, I guess. And then, and then, yes. And then they get up Wednesday, and they go, right. There. Just get up and get to the boat, right? Herbert is all like, Yay, let's go well.
Collin Funkhouser 54:48
And PIP is like, up and about. And he's like, very antsy. He's not sleeping well. He's like, he keeps waking up thinking it's like, a lot of. Time has passed, and going and looking at the clock and checking the river and like he's just, obviously, he's been through a lot and he's worried about getting out.
Brandon 55:14
Yes, that's true. But, you know, boom, so again, this next chapter also full of several things that just
Collin Funkhouser 55:30
don't make any sense. Oh, this, okay, sorry, no,
Brandon 55:35
go ahead. You're good.
Collin Funkhouser 55:37
Uh, I love how at the beginning of this book, when PIP gets his expectations, he frets about what he packs, right? And we are into his what was it called? His little bag? Whatever it was,
Brandon 55:59
what did he call? Use that word like
Collin Funkhouser 56:01
seven, seven times yes, and now he just says, we had our pea coats with us, and I took a bag of all my worldly possessions. I took no more than the few necessaries that filled the bag. And I loved, I love how he started this grand adventure
Brandon 56:17
putting only a few things in a bag, but they were
Collin Funkhouser 56:21
all his worldly possessions. That's true. He put them in a little bag, and now he's like, out of everything that I have, I'm only taking these few and putting them in my bag. And so it's this, like beautiful little mirror here, of under different circumstances. Obviously this was like, but him paring down what really is important and necessary and and do I need versus, you know, what I had hoped for previously, and like the paring down of that,
Brandon 56:56
yes, what does that think I was flipping back through?
Collin Funkhouser 57:01
Hey, I don't remember what it was called. It was so, but I need to find this surely. I wrote this down in some notes, doldrums and PIP and oh, man, that was a long time ago. Man, we have been reading this book for a long time.
Brandon 57:23
We really have right? This is like chapters like before, chapter 20, right? Like at least, yeah, because chapter 19 was the end of his expectations, right? This is
Collin Funkhouser 57:39
going to be very, oh, my goodness,
Brandon 57:40
anticlimactic when we get to this.
Collin Funkhouser 57:48
Oh, I don't know anymore. Yeah, that's crazy. I don't Okay. I didn't write down these words. I did
Brandon 58:01
That's right. All right. This is again, very awkward, as we just scroll, think, scroll through, and have to vamp while reading, honestly,
Collin Funkhouser 58:15
while reading, yes, fighting lots of manner. All right,
Brandon 58:22
oh, hey, Mr. Trav again, look at that.
58:32
Oh, I don't remember, not either.
Collin Funkhouser 58:42
I know because many times in like two
Brandon 58:46
chapters and then we never heard from it again. No packing out,
Collin Funkhouser 58:50
no, no, until now that I'm trying to make. Oh, wait, portmanteau is, yes, it's
Brandon 59:03
the portmanteau portmanteau area.
Collin Funkhouser 59:06
So now, now we have PIP who is basically like with almost as much eager mint and excitement packing, but yet he is has way more worldly possessions, obviously, that he is in debt, up to his eyeballs to have had. But now is easily pairing all that down like he's it think PIP from 25 to 50 chapters ago would have like him and hawed and like, there would have been an entire chapter of him just figuring out what to put in his bag about what he's going to do. Yeah, true. And now at least he's just like, No, done. I'm I'm never going to return, and I'm just going to go now, yes.
Brandon 59:58
And so they sneak. Down, and they just get into the boat, and they start rowing, right? And then we have a long time, we got lots of discussion of bridges here, right, going very far. And then
Collin Funkhouser 1:00:16
their scheme is like they've memorized the colors of the boats that are going to different places out of the river, right? And so their goal is to get, like, Wait row far, far ahead and then jump the appropriately colored river boat and escape that way. Did I yeah, this seems kind of
Brandon 1:00:39
odd, right? They're gonna, like, catch the boat. I thought, right, it was gonna be like, a we're gonna go down, we're gonna row down to the dockyard right, and then, like, mix in with the crowd, and then get on the boat at the dock right. That's kind of what I thought was gonna happen. But apparently it is, like, we're just gonna row right up to the boat and just, like, hop on. Like, what? Excuse me, that's, yeah, that allowed.
Collin Funkhouser 1:01:11
Is that? Like, well, you can do they did have a contingency plan, because then they were like, well, we knew that there were two boats so that if we weren't taken in one, we'd have another chance. And you're like, what? Yeah, okay. But can you just,
Brandon 1:01:22
like, flag down a boat and be like, Yo, can I get on?
Collin Funkhouser 1:01:25
Like, what appearance? Apparently the answer is yes.
Brandon 1:01:30
Apparently the answer is yes. In 1850 like, are you just, like, hop on any boat randomly. So, like, I was, I thought the whole time, like, they were gonna row down to, like, the shipyard, yeah, where the boats were, like, the docking place, right? Like, to the, like, the departure docks. And then they were gonna, like, not go by a road, so that they wouldn't be seen as easily, right? And then, like, get off at the docks. And then, like, like, I thought they were looking for the boats to, like, see if the ones they wanted were there. And then, like, to get on them, right? I did not. I must have missed something somewhere. Like, I did not know the plan was, like, get on the boat while it was moving. Yeah, it all that was already underway,
Collin Funkhouser 1:02:23
all that's new to me, especially as this chapter unfolds, and I realized what they were actually planning on doing. But yes, they are. They're rowing. Provis is sitting there with looking like a seaman or boat worker guy, right? Oh, yes. He said he had a black cloak with him in a black canvas bag, and he looked like a river pilot, as my heart could have, my heart could have wished. And basically, again, it's interesting how these things come in. Of Laura, like, Pip is very in tune, or like, he's very like, what do people look like? He's still very much like outwardly. Do they fit? Do they look comfortable in how they are? Do they appear to like, competency? Like he judges all that from people's appearances. And he's like, yeah, he looks fitting, like he's wearing that well, basically,
Brandon 1:03:16
yeah, he like, looks we fit in, right? Like it looks the part, right? And then he gets, like, he starts talking to because Herbie and star top are rowing, and PIP can't row, so he's got the rudder right. And so Provis is just like sitting in there. And he's kind of like, you know, just accepting, basically, pips. Like, aren't you worried? He's like, you know, at this point, whatever happens, is gonna happen, and I can't really worry about it. He's like,
Collin Funkhouser 1:03:55
go ahead. Go ahead. No, I was
Brandon 1:03:56
just saying like, he's kind of like, sitting there, and he's like, You know what? You I just gonna go. Because he's like, aren't you happy we're free? He's like, Well, we're not yet. But you know, whatever,
Collin Funkhouser 1:04:13
yeah, and it's also interesting because, yeah, he's like, accepting his fate. And he's got this great phrase where it says, I suppose I think so, dear boy, we'd be puzzled to be more quiet and easygoing than we are at present. But it's a flowing so soft and pleasant through the water. Perhaps it makes me think it I was a thinking through my smoke just then that we can no more see the to the bottom of the next few hours then we can see to the bottom of this river that I catches a hold of. Nor yet, we can't, no more hold their tithe than I can hold this. And it's run through my fingers and gone, you see, because, like, he's really just accepting that, hey, we don't know, and I'm, I'm okay with however, this. Turns out, because I'm just weird, like, right in part of the stream, and whatever happens is going to happen, yeah.
Brandon 1:05:07
And so, yeah. So they just bro forever, yes. And they're on the lookout for all this stuff, right? And then they get down, they go way down there, and they stop it, like a little in thing that's on the water, right? And they're gonna, like, spin the they can't figure out, like, if they want to spend the night there, or just like, wait there for a few hours, right and keep going, and then they decide that they're gonna spend the night and get up early and continue their rowing, right? Then that's weird. And then there's some people outside, like, looking at the boat in the middle of the night, right? Which is also you for, you forgot
Collin Funkhouser 1:06:09
the little guy who's wearing the soggy boots of a drowned guy? Yeah, that's true.
Brandon 1:06:17
Like, there's a guy, they're going, they're in there, and they get, like, there's like a weird dude at the bar who's like, they're asking him about, like, another boat, right, that was seen in the area. And he's like, Well, they must have gone down that way. And, you know, like, it's just a very weird conversation. And he Yeah, he is wearing the boots of a dead man, which, there has to be a symbol of something not good, right? Like,
Collin Funkhouser 1:06:48
also, it's ominous that as they strike out and they're going through this, they're getting to the part of the river where PIP is also saying, like, this reminds him of the marshes at home, right? And, and we know that the marshes at home see aforementioned event that happened three days prior. Like, not good places, like,
Brandon 1:07:11
yeah, it's like a port end, yes, yes.
Collin Funkhouser 1:07:15
Of, like, just kind of setting the scene. Of like, scenery plays a role here. Anyway, like it was, yeah,
Brandon 1:07:25
I don't know, like, I just, I'm so, like, basically, after this we get to, like, the very end of this chapter. I kind of forgot everything that happened in the beginning, because it was like, What the heck, right? So anyway, they are like, they're all, well, Pip is very on edge, like, the whole time, right? And he was on edge, like, with the conversation from the dude there. And they're on edge because they saw some people looking around at night at the window, or he did. He didn't want to wake anybody up, because they had been rowing so hard all day. He didn't want to bother them, because them because they were resting. And then they're, they get close, right? We see a steamer, right? They think that they can see the word Hamburg, right, oh, or right. That's the Hamburg Germany one, yeah, but they think it's that one. And they're,
Collin Funkhouser 1:08:21
they're on edge too, though, because the previous night at the at the little house, House Hotel, lodging thing, the guy with the boots had mentioned, he was like, Hey, did you see the the four oars schooner or whatever, go up? And they're like, What? No. And then they're like, on edge right now of just like they are so close to their goal, ultimate goal, yeah,
Brandon 1:08:53
that they think that, like they couldn't tell if it was like Customs boat or like they, you know, they didn't know what it was. And right, like, where's this part? It's just the most ridiculous. So, yeah, they're there, and they're like, getting close to the boat, and they were gonna hop aboard it right and then huzzah a four oared scooter, like, flies around the corner, yeah, and like intercepts that it's like, row right up alongside of their little boat, and right they are, like, trying to get them to come aboard, right? They're trying to, like, stop them, right? And, and they just, like, yell out that, where's this at? And he's like, I. They just yell out that that's the guy that's Abel Magwitch right there. And everyone's just like, what, what? Yeah, right. So these are just like policemen, or whatever. They just come out and they're like, there he is. Get him. What?
Collin Funkhouser 1:10:23
But, but also, yeah, and they come over, they do grab a hold of their boat and, but they're still kind of like making a line towards the incoming steamer. And it like
Brandon 1:10:39
the steamer comes up and, like, smacks into and like swamps the boat, right?
Collin Funkhouser 1:10:47
Well, not before. What happens right before? Right? Right before that Provost, I guess, like, stands up and there's another, like, prisoner dude in the other boat, and he pulls up and, like, pulls off the hood of that other prisoner. It's none other, of course, obviously, this is what they do, Compy a son, or whoever
Brandon 1:11:17
his compa son, dude is just there, and then Provost just diving, tackles him into the water. It was great. He just, like, leaps across, yeah, to the other boat, tackles his dude off the other side and just into the river, as as
Collin Funkhouser 1:11:36
the steamer then swamps the boat, because he says the boat disappeared from under me.
Brandon 1:11:41
Yeah, because the steamer is just coming, and they just, like, intercepted this boat in front of a large steamer, and it just like, smacks in the boat. Everybody goes flying off. They're all scrambling trying to get on. They're trying to pull everybody out of the water, and, like, they get them all in the boat, and then the Magwitch or Provis comes up, right? And it is a highly inferred here that compison is no more, right? Like it, we have no body again, you know. So you can't ever trust anyone's data here, because, like, you don't have the body. So, like, yeah, it's not gonna happen. But like, yeah, he's just it's inferred that he is the only one to survive this entanglement, right? But we do have a problem, because the portable property was in the possession of Provis Yep, who is now in the possession of the crown, the crown. So all of his portable property shall now
Collin Funkhouser 1:12:52
be the crown,
Brandon 1:12:55
the crowns. So all this money that we were doing, all this for anyway, is now come, is gone forever, and he, because he, he thinks about like wimick told me, right, women could infer it a while ago, like, if they're, you know, if there is portable property, you need to hold it right. You need to be the one holding it, because, because now if purpose is arrested, well, in possession of it is now forfeit and property of the English crown. Yep, right, and it's all gone. So, good job. Pip. Way to go. Not any PIP wanted it anyway.
Collin Funkhouser 1:13:38
No, still like your money,
Brandon 1:13:42
yeah, even though I think he had softened on that position somewhat recently, like he still kind of screwed up there because he was not holding it, nope, nope.
Collin Funkhouser 1:13:54
And now it's we have a moment here where Magwitch is badly injured and there's a sentence of for now my repugnance of to him had all melted away, and then the hunted, wounded, shackled creature who held my hand in his I only saw a man who had meant to be my benefactor and who had felt affectionately, gratefully and generously towards me with great constancy through a series of years, I only saw in him a much better man than I had been to Joe.
Brandon 1:14:31
Yes, yeah. It's also implied here that he is like, the reason he's so injured is because he like, went under the gunnel of
Collin Funkhouser 1:14:39
the Yes. He's got a gash across his chest and his head's wounded. And yeah, he's not doing great,
Brandon 1:14:50
yes, yeah. So Bing, there we go that he's being taken away by the raw. Lose here, and PIP is accompanying him, right? And he does also say, dear boy, I'm quite content to take my chance. I've seen my boy, and he can be a gentleman without me, except for he can't, because you have all the portable property. And, right? Yeah, I understand we mix it now. Oh no, yep,
Collin Funkhouser 1:15:25
he gets it. Oh,
Brandon 1:15:31
good grief. So here we go, going off to jail after all this shooting games, why was coffee sign on this boat. No idea. Why did the boat know that they were going to be there? No idea. Also, none of this makes any sense, right? Like, unless, like, I mean, basically, it's implied from the conversation with Orlick that compison has known about him. And compison and him are, like, copies on feels the same way about him as Orlik feels about PIP. Yeah, right. So he's like, I must take you down for reasons that don't make again, what the character motivation in this chapter is what bothered me the most, because, like, there's no reason for any of this to happen, yeah, right? Like, it doesn't really make a lot of sense for him to be like, Oh, I'm so bad at you for, like, whatever. Like, they're really mad about something that happened like, 50 years ago, right? Yeah, weird, right? Like, I don't know, it seems very petty and ridiculous, but he's like, Well, I'm going down. So you're going down too Exactly. That's basically what it is. That's all it is. How did he know he was there? I don't know
Collin Funkhouser 1:16:59
it's gonna say he knew, he knew what he would do, because he, he knows, knows him.
Brandon 1:17:03
How did he know that? There's no way anybody forgot his plans. Playing is so convoluted, ridiculous, so you can't be, like, I knew it from the start.
1:17:09
Like, obviously, like, no, what? Yeah, other
Brandon 1:17:13
than we know compison was potentially following PIP for a long time, right? Because he was in the meter, maybe
Collin Funkhouser 1:17:19
he wasn't as careful as he thought he
Brandon 1:17:20
was, yeah, but like, oh, he definitely wasn't, because PIP had never has an idea what's happening ever. But like, this is what's implied here. But again, I'm having trouble with the character motivation. Of like, Oh yes, I will take down him now after all this time, also, if he knew where he was the whole time anyway, why did he want to wait until he was, like, on a boat somewhere? That's weird, like he knew that he was staying at Claire's house. Like, yeah, why was he like, oh, man,
Collin Funkhouser 1:18:01
oh, to get I'll just steal freedom from him, right there where it
1:18:07
was would have been sweetest, right?
Brandon 1:18:09
Because just a couple, like, weird things and then, like, they would have just been gone. Like, that's really not a very good way to get revenge on somebody. Is to, like, leave it to, like, the last possible millisecond before they escape. Because if they had, like, been an hour earlier, like, they would have escaped. So like,
1:18:34
oh for sure. Like, yeah.
Brandon 1:18:37
This is kind of a dumb plan that they have concocted here. Like, I don't, I don't know if we're gonna get any clarity on that particular thing in the remaining like, chapters, probably not. But, like, that's, that's weird. That's why, yeah, this whole, these last two chapters, I was just like, What in the heck, like, I don't understand orlix motivation at all. Like, like, what are you doing? And then this one, it's like, what? How did, how, how, what in the I don't know. So we'll see what our vast approaching, fastly approaching a conclusion, yes, light on anything. I don't think it probably will, but you know,
Collin Funkhouser 1:19:34
we'll see. Yes, we will, we will see. And I don't know, I don't know if they're gonna explain too much. I'm sure we're gonna get a nice exposition at some point.
Brandon 1:19:47
Will it be any good?
Collin Funkhouser 1:19:50
It'll be long. It'll be long, that's for sure. Good old jiggers is gonna make PIP disappear because he's gonna, I don't
Brandon 1:19:59
know, literally. There's a letter again, I have literally no clue how any of this could possibly result. This book is not going to resolve. It's just going to stop. Yes, right? Like, that's what's going
Collin Funkhouser 1:20:12
to happen. It has to. There's no way. There's only five chapters left, and we are this up in the air about all these things, unless we get the Magic Wand of like
Brandon 1:20:25
May, which we already had couple magic wands this
Collin Funkhouser 1:20:29
last chapter, that's what's gonna happen. So we'll see.
Brandon 1:20:35
Yeah, literally, who knows?
Collin Funkhouser 1:20:37
I I don't that's for sure. You a what I do know is I do have a haiku. Oh yeah. Little bit of context for this one we are, well, I'll just read it, and then I'll tell it's better that way. Avalanche of floors, shifting all our best laid plans, endless options now, oh no, oh no. So we had two options for our I gave up on our carpet. It's just gonna be what it is. I'm not gonna like it fine. It's done. That's just pending. But then we pivoted to our kitchen floor. And the problem with our kitchen floor is that my house is 106 years old. There's not a level surface in this entire house. So in order to put down any sort of harder flooring you have to level that, and depending on how well it can be leveled, and to what extent the leveling is able to take place, will determine the kind of flooring that you can get. This is the difference between and nobody cares about this corner that we have of glue down or floating, or LVT, or any of that stuff is all determined on the floor condition or sheet, right? Do we do sheet, which is like sheet vinyl? Do we do eminent, let's go right, like so that's all this. And so what we have had to do is the floor has not been treated yet. We have not tried to address the the floor unevenness yet all. So unfortunately, I can't come out and with a strongly held opinion on one kind of floor, because if they aren't able to level it out to the extent that they hope that they can, I will then have to pivot to a different kind of flooring option.
Brandon 1:22:41
So you want to get your hopes up. So just in case copy song swoops
Collin Funkhouser 1:22:45
in, comes in, exactly in case the copy song of flooring comes in. Like, I have to be prepared for this. So I have to come in with, like, as many options on the table as possible. So we can quickly pivot to do whatever sure
Brandon 1:23:00
I feel like, I feel like, good options. Just give your son a sander.
Collin Funkhouser 1:23:08
Go for it. Well. So what we are, what we are working through a laser
Brandon 1:23:11
level in a sander. Do we? Is
Collin Funkhouser 1:23:12
it an issue, or is it an issue of unevenness that needs to be corrected from the bottom up, as in, like, floor jacks and joist thing, or is it like, Yeah, this is just settling in the old house. We can just pour a leveler on top, seal it and be done, like that.
Brandon 1:23:33
That would be much better. This would be
Collin Funkhouser 1:23:35
mucho better. Oh, but I don't know. And everybody who I talked to is like, Look, we're not going to know until we get in there. I'm going that is the last thing I want to hear. Because what you what I just heard was because I know they can't, and I understand and nobody's going to know. But anytime somebody says I'm not going to know until I can get in there, all I hear is that is another $10,000 added to this project. And it does sound like a lot of dollars, yes. So we are still in that but in this time art, we had two options of flooring, and we were like, This is what we're going to do and and this is what I want. And we found that the other option, the like, the fallback option, is not available anymore. And so, oh, we went back to the store, and the person was, like, my favorite
Brandon 1:24:23
place. They were like, Oh no, not you
Collin Funkhouser 1:24:25
again, not you again. I won't I won't even go in to tell you what my last conversation was with them, because I don't have four hours to explain what it wasn't he did. But Okay, anyway, so this time I walk in, I'm like, they called and they were like, This is not available. We got to pick out a new one. And we're talking to them. And then they were like, Hey, I know, like, you're really set on, like this kind of flooring option, or like this kind of color, but would you be like, how. Because they are also designers, and they're like, if you're trying to update this to more of, like, a modern sensibility of what the kind of things that are done right now, here's what you need to consider, because, like, I wanted, like, dark floor, because my cabinets are all white, I have white trim and, like, a light gray paint and big windows. It's a bright kitchen, but what the modern sensibility is is so I wanted a dark floor as basically like a slate and then white and then black countertops. But everybody who I have talked to is like, that's a choice you could do. You could also not,
Brandon 1:25:46
because what they're thinking kind of heavy, right?
Collin Funkhouser 1:25:49
It's kind of heavy. And they're like, Look, if you, like, literally, ever want to sell this, that is not the option to do, bro. Like, don't do that. So was like, Okay, well, then I have to, like, yeah.
Brandon 1:26:03
But on the On a side note, I feel like designing your house around the potential of selling it later is really dumb, like, because you're gonna live in it. And like, yeah, if somebody else doesn't like it. Who cares? Because they're not
Collin Funkhouser 1:26:22
living Yeah, they'll just, if somebody does buy it, they'll just have to do a new kitchen, right? So this is the two different
Brandon 1:26:31
too much about this is so weird. This
Collin Funkhouser 1:26:33
is the two different philosophies of living in a house, right? There are the people who are like, hey, just do whatever you want to your house, because it's your house. You're paying enough money for it. And enough money for it anyway, just like making yours. And then there are those of like, but resale value, resale value, shut up.
Brandon 1:26:50
So nobody can buy a house anyway. Options are open.
Collin Funkhouser 1:26:54
So I'm like, You know what? Fine, let's look at what we would do this other way. So here's the thing though of if I don't get a dark floor, I get a warm floor, like a lighter flooring, of like a cream or like a dusk, Sandy kind of thing, right? Whatever. I don't know these words. I can't have an all black countertop, I mean, but no, and so I had to call a countertop guy today to come in. Hey, in the off chance that we possibly need to do flooring in a different color. I need you to come and talk to me about countertops and Brandon. I know I opened up a whole new world of just like chaos farming that I'm not okay with.
Brandon 1:27:55
No, that's ridiculous. Here's
Collin Funkhouser 1:27:58
here was the here, here's the literal questions. I said, I am looking at countertops for my home. And his first question was, do you have countertops currently?
Brandon 1:28:09
I mean, I mean, that's, that's kind of a fair question, because if you are remodeling and you had, like, stripped your kitchen, then, like, the answer is no, right?
Collin Funkhouser 1:28:18
Like, and then he said, I said, Yes. And he said, Is this a new or current? Is this a new or old build? And I went, very old. He goes, Huh, okay. And then he had, do you want under mounted sink? And I went, I'm going to be very honest with you, I don't know what that means, fair, because, because, because. Then he was like, yeah, like, basically, this is
Brandon 1:28:45
what, I think I do know what that means.
Collin Funkhouser 1:28:48
So, yes, right. So an insert sink is where you put the countertop down and then the counter the sink goes down into from the that's how mine is. That's how mine is too. That's how old, but, but there are certain kind of sinks that go underneath the counter so that it's all flat and then just falls in and well, and I said, I said, Well, can't I just do a countertop and then, like, do the sink later? And he says, Collin, no, the countertop will be custom cut and designed to your sink. Yeah, so whatever sink you want, you need to tell me before I cut anything. And then I went, I went, his name is Sergey, and I went, but he goes by Serge. And I went, Serge, what do people do when they want a new sink? And he went, Oh, well, they'll just get new countertops. And I went, you've got to be kidding me. He said, No, because the under mount, the under sink mounted way has custom cut and drilled holes for mounting brackets for that make and model of sink.
Brandon 1:29:57
So insert
Collin Funkhouser 1:29:59
sink it is. Then I. Yeah. I was like, great to insert, because that is insane.
Brandon 1:30:05
Insane already kind of insane that you are trying you're thinking about getting new countertops because you're replacing the flooring that that's also insane,
Collin Funkhouser 1:30:17
yeah, but we're keeping everything on the table. We don't know. We're just like, and that's
Brandon 1:30:21
for the tops, maybe,
Collin Funkhouser 1:30:24
yes, except for the tops of the table. And this is the entire thing of like, of nothing has been nailed down, or, like, installed, or even bought, or whatever I have. There are like, 45 things that are just possibilities right now, and and I, and they're all, Oh, this is the other thing. When I was we're talking about the flooring and blah blah. And I'm like, we picked out a couple and then I just, I just thought to ask, Hey, we're having our back door. We're having a new backdoor installed and all done up. Should we do that before or after the new floors, probably after, right? And he said, definitely before, oh, the floors, because we will fit the floor to the door. What you don't want is, if the door has different insert things, they may have to cut into the floor to adjust the approach or whatever. Yeah, okay, so then I'm like, Oh, dang it. Then I said, Okay, so, so I've got that in my head, okay, door, then floor, but now I've introduced the top possibility of countertops. So I says to surge, surge. I says, surge. Do I do countertops? And then floors are floors and countertops. And he said, Oh, Collin, you definitely have to do countertops first. And then
Collin Funkhouser 1:31:59
why? He said, Look, Collin, we are as careful as we possibly can be. However, that's very
Brandon 1:32:07
drop stuff, moving these
Collin Funkhouser 1:32:08
heavy countertops, things can happen. And so if you are thinking about new floors at all, just to protect yourself and save you fixing these or whatever, even though we are as careful as we possibly can be. I just want to let you know accidents do happen. And so anytime somebody has the possibility to do floors and countertops, I always recommend do countertops first and then floors. So if the floors get damaged, or if the traffic, you know, breaks up something, or we have to scoot something around, or whatever, like the floors, you know, you're going to tear it anyway. And I'm like, oh,
Brandon 1:32:48
no, yeah, yeah. Really, Collin, what you've done is you just sealed it for me, right? Like, if, if I ever actually do own a house, which, who knows if that will ever happen. If that ever happened, I'm gonna tear every single thing out of my kitchen, and I'm only gonna put in those industrial kitchen, stainless steel work
Collin Funkhouser 1:33:08
tables, only
Brandon 1:33:12
kitchen that I'm gonna have. I don't care. I'm just gonna spend a couple of dollars on tables and be like, Yep, that's it. Cabinets, No, bro, I have those wire rack things. That's what I got.
Collin Funkhouser 1:33:26
And stained concrete floors. It's just, oh, that's it.
Brandon 1:33:32
I don't even care. Only stainless steel food prep tables. That's all I'm putting in. Yeah, that's it. That's it. Oh, industrial kitchen only. Thank you for that,
Collin Funkhouser 1:33:49
Collin, you're welcome. You're welcome. Learn, learn from me. Learn from me.
Brandon 1:33:54
This is a countertop wheel. It Out. Unlock the wheels.
Collin Funkhouser 1:34:03
All good. This is what I recommend strongly.
Brandon 1:34:07
So I will then, if someone's like, oh, I want to buy your house, but I don't like the kitchen, like, bro, I'll just wheel it out. Boom, there you go. Put whatever you want in there. I don't care. You're welcome. See you later.
Collin Funkhouser 1:34:17
You can handle you spend
Brandon 1:34:18
as much money on countertops as you want. I'm out. See ya picking this table with me.
Collin Funkhouser 1:34:24
Yeah, down the road. So this is where I find myself. And I'll we'll see, we'll see if any project is ever actually going to get done, or if all I'm going to do is just collect quotes from people and say no, because that's
Brandon 1:34:40
what's happening. I really feel like that's what's happening right now. And I feel like you need to not do that. Maybe just floor only is the clan laminate floor in the light brown. There go.
Collin Funkhouser 1:34:57
That sounds oddly familiar. No. I wonder where I don't
Brandon 1:35:03
know, a light brown, perhaps tile effect, who knows?
Collin Funkhouser 1:35:08
Sounds suspicious. I don't think that would work. So we will see.
Brandon 1:35:14
Well, you could get in a light gray, ooh, because your countertops are black. Yes, right. Light gray flooring, black countertops, white, everything else, bang.
Collin Funkhouser 1:35:25
There you go. Then we will, we will see the door, thin floor, then, so we will see what happens, and they will hopefully have a color picked by the next time
1:35:39
we talk. Okay. Well, good luck. Thanks,
Collin Funkhouser 1:35:44
all good well, we will, we will leave in suspense there and okay, see what happens to pip next time too. Who knows? Speaking of suspense, suspense, yes, indeed. Okay, oh, love you, bye, bye.