for secret reasons

for secret reasons
Brandon & Collin

Collin baked. Brandon went into a fugue state…for a movie review.

Haiku

  • Night drops the curtain

  • Our sleeping bags earn their keep

  • Milky Way climbs high

Links

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A VERY ROUGH TRANSCRIPT OF THE EPISODE

PROVIDED BY OTTER.AI

Collin 0:05

Welcome to Oh Brother, a podcast where we try to figure it all out with your hosts Brandon and Collin on this week's show for secret reasons. Ahoy!

Brandon 0:20

Ahoy! What's going on? Not a lot. How are you?

Collin 0:24

I am hot. It is. It was a warm day. I know.

Brandon 0:27

Boo.

Collin 0:28

I know. Boo. That's what. Like how boo? How Does it be middle of October, but also be so hot? This is this is good question. Yes, yeah. This is what everyone wants to know. Do like it's it's terrible, and I like

Brandon 1:00

it's even worse because the extended forecast is a lie, right? It'd be like you look at like the five day forecast. You're like, oh, in like four days, the temperature is going to go down, but then every day that that day gets closer, it just like keeps like going up again. You're like, you just lied to me. What is happening?

Collin 1:25

No, I was fully expecting it to be in the '60s by now this week, and and then every time it's like, ugh, now it's well record heat moving forward now, guys. Like, what? I'm sorry. No, like, what is this? Yeah, it keeps

Brandon 1:40

saying it's going to be like 60, but then it's like, oh, oh, just kidding! No, no, no! Like,

Collin 1:46

not for you. Like, I was telling was telling somebody today that I, I'm just waiting for the temperature to plummet. It needs to rain for two weeks, and then we can be in fall. This is what I need in my life right now. Yeah, I don't think I'm going to get that for a while, unfortunately. No,

Brandon 2:07

like I, I want to wear a jacket. That's really, it's time. Okay, like it's time for jacket wearing weather. I don't know what these shenanigans are, but I know it's not jacket wearing weather. Tell you that right now,

Collin 2:25

no, not during the day at least. But if you stay up, if you stay up, you can get into the fifth. I have to stay up

Brandon 2:29

till like 2o'clock in the morning. It'll be a little nippy outside.

Collin 2:33

What's the big deal?

Brandon 2:36

You know. So speaking of being up late, how was your campout? Oh,

Collin 2:44

so this was sprung on me very last minute. We're headed. That's what it sounded like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like like I knew ish about it. Basically, there was a trio had a discussion and it was decided that we were going to be doing this. So, but we kind of just threw everything in because we were last minute needing to go. Yeah, but I wasn't fully like, are we, are we, are we not? And but I was like, okay, I know we're gonna do this, and it was fine. We did it in the backyard, and the last time we did this, which was I think like last fall, I put the rainfly up because it was like fall and rain was going to be happening and stuff. Yeah, this time it was like it is bone dry. There will be too hot. Yeah, so hot. Not doing that. So I ended up no rainfly, and we have a. I was explaining this to the kids of like the the three season tent versus like a four season tent, and what that gets you, and like why one is yeah. Even though,

Brandon 3:53

as Boy Scouts, we only ever use three season tents, even in the fourth season. Just like it's fine, it's okay.

Collin 4:01

Just actually, what you should do is just you need to dress warmer, and that's that's how you get to the fourth season, right? Yeah, you

Brandon 4:09

put your tarp closer to the fire a little bit, and then it's it's fine. A

Collin 4:15

little bit, yes. I also explained this to them as well, and that now, like our, like we're in our home. Part of the thing that traps the heat is the ceiling, and I'm laying in the tent and I'm looking up through all of the mesh, and I'm like, "What is trapping in the heat? And they were like, "No ceiling, nothing. And I was exactly

Brandon 4:38

perfect,

Collin 4:40

And it was it was it was a perfect night, really, because it was a new moon. So there was it was pitch black,

Brandon 4:50

spooky,

Collin 4:51

and great.

Brandon 4:54

Just so the bobcat could see you when you couldn't see it. My gosh, that's what.

Collin 5:00

I was, I was. The kids were more scared, like more worried about having armadillos run into us because apparently in Dad's yard, it is.

Brandon 5:09

But it's a bit of a highway. It is

Collin 5:10

torn up. Like there are there are pits where armadillos are digging, and this has made him very happy. So they were like he's

Brandon 5:21

been all down in the leg though, so you can't be on patrol quite us, yeah, be hitting

Collin 5:27

his posts and yeah

Brandon 5:28

yeah

Collin 5:29

oh whale yeah, so he's not doing that. So the kids were like, are we going to encounter an armadillo? I said honestly, they may be snuffling around the tent, but they're gonna smell us before they see us. So if you see, if you hear snuffling or hear something, I guarantee it's just an armadillo. So they were more like, "Oh my gosh, there's gonna be an armadillo smelling us around the tent. That didn't happen at all. Good, and it was a pretty peaceful night. We kind of stayed up till about you know about eight, 815, looking at the stars and whatever, and then I was like, "Okay, everybody, we need to go to bed, and then I have to get up in the middle of the night, right, to go pee, and I reach right. Obviously, it's like four in the morning. Okay, now I, Brandon, what's the answer to this? When you zip up, when you zip a tent closed,

Brandon 6:23

okay.

Collin 6:24

Where do the zippers end up?

Brandon 6:30

Uh, well, it depends on the door, but I they need to be both on the same like side. Sure, I always zipped into the bottom.

Collin 6:40

Okay, okay. See, I always zip mine to the top. Ah, I don't. I don't know why. I don't. It's just uh, I zip mine to the top. So I. I think

Brandon 6:48

it's just because like it's it's more intuitive to me to like zip the tint to like unzip it in an upward fashion. And this makes sense to me because that's like the same direction your arm moves to like push open the thing. Push

Collin 7:00

open. Right. But like

Brandon 7:01

on some of them, like if it's like a round one, then I could see why you would put it at the top. But like on the triangle ones, where it's like you have two zippers, sometimes there's like a bottom and a yeah. So like bottom. Well,

Collin 7:18

in a lot of those, there was just one direction. It's like omnidirectional. Yeah, yeah. It's just huge. And I think that's why.

Brandon 7:23

I think maybe because I use those dumb A-frame ones for so long that I'm just like used to having the zipper at the bottom.

Collin 7:29

Yeah, yeah. You know that like

Brandon 7:32

I I don't even think about putting it at the top. Like,

Collin 7:34

so I had like a like a two person tent for the for a long time that had a big circle door, and it was-I always zipped it to the top. Like it was just a. For some reason, I don't know. I guess I think it was because I would roll over and I would just stick my hand above me and just like let my hand fall and was just like zoop, and it was open like zero effort. So this our tent has a big zero, a big circle one. So I reach to grab the zipper that's at the top, and it's not at the top.

Brandon 8:10

Oh dear! Because I'm

Collin 8:11

like, it's four in the morning.

Brandon 8:14

Do you know where your zipper is?

Collin 8:16

And I turn, and I both my kids are in bed, and I'm like, like I will, I will investigate this later. And I came back, came back a beautiful night, like no, like just all the stars out. It's beautiful. Get back in, lay down, wake up at six 630. Lillian's snuggling close to me, and I just said, "What time did you go out to look at the stars? Now, Brendan, here's a here's the thing. I know she I know she doesn't have a watch, so oh yeah, right. So like, what is she gonna say? So she says, "Oh, like one a.m. And I went. How did you know? No one told me. No one

Brandon 9:06

told. Well, see, I also went inside.

Collin 9:12

Surprised she didn't. Right? Like, I made a snack. I got. Yeah, I was hungry.

Brandon 9:17

So like, I got. I got some chips. Like, you know,

Collin 9:21

nope, nope. She and she and Noah went off, did a little grand adventure at one a.m. faffed about in the darkness, and then came back in, zipped up. This is again, this is a tent, so I obviously sleep through everything. Of course, clearly, clearly, I am not to ever be on patrol for anything. Yeah, that's what we learned today. Because I wake up and I'm like, "Huh, someone? Okay, cool. Well, we'll learn more about this later. Oh my gosh! And of course, you know, we we went to bed and it was. 80, and at six in the morning it was 56 degrees. Yeah, no,

Brandon 10:05

it's around two 2o'clock in the morning is when it gets when that happens. Like yeah, that's when the

Collin 10:10

it's really where you get like that big dip, right? And then like usually right before sunrise you get a little bit like it goes down even more. Yeah, and then right before sunrise,

Brandon 10:20

because when I used, I always used to wake up around two when we would do summer camping, right? And Boy Scouts, right? Two around two to three is when I'd wake up because it'd be so hot, right? Yeah, I could barely sleep, and then all of a sudden, you're like kind of like laying on top of the bag or whatever, and you slipping whatever, and then all of a sudden, like two in the morning, two three in the morning, you're like, that's when you get cold. You're like, oh, oh, okay, okay, oh gee,

Collin 10:43

like, yeah, yes. Like

Brandon 10:46

sometimes I would wake up because I was too chilly, like, like,

Collin 10:51

yeah. So you know, we're like, okay, like, uh, it's it's nice now, and then I don't know, we we got up, and then of course there's dew everywhere, so I had to wait for it to to dry off. But then I went and stood in the heat today for an event, and I was like, "This nobody should be doing this. Why? Yeah, what did

Brandon 11:13

did you do today? I was gonna. That was my follow up question. You said you had an event, and so was this more like more like just meet and greedy things. Like, were you? What are we doing? No,

Collin 11:22

I was. We were invited to attend something, and here's okay. So I can't. Oh, here's what happened. These people came to us, and they were like, "Hey, we're putting on these events for the year, and a $50 donation will go to a rescue, and then you can show up and have a booth, and I'm like, okay. And they were putting on like four events. I was like, sweet. I'll do it. I'll do. You know, we'll take. I'll. I'll. I'll buy into that. Four events. 20. You know, basically, 50 bucks for the whole thing. And I was like, done. I'll. I'll show up. I'll do whatever. I'm cheap, and what I didn't like ask was, have you done these before? Have you

Brandon 12:11

have you invented in the past? You know that is that's a question that one doesn't always think to ask necessarily because if somebody says, "Oh, we're gonna go to an event, yeah, we're having an event. You assume, kind of like that, they have done that before.

Collin 12:33

Yeah. So, so you're

Brandon 12:35

telling me? Turns out,

Collin 12:37

it turns out. No, my first, our first event was back in June. My first event was in June, and it was 100 degrees. It was so hot. It was me in my tent, the organizers, and one vendor.

Brandon 12:57

Oh, oh dear. Okay,

Collin 13:00

they had position. They had worked with a local brewery to have this thing outside the brewery because it's a dog-friendly brewery, and and apparently on Saturdays it's like crawling with people. There's a line out the door, all this stuff. So they were like, okay, well we'll do an event adjacent to it. We're still connected. Like there's a little walkway. We'll be off the walkway.

Brandon 13:23

Yeah, yeah.

Collin 13:24

But when it's 100 degrees,

Brandon 13:26

yeah,

Collin 13:27

a no one is bringing a dog to this.

Brandon 13:32

No, and it's too hot for a dog. No one is leaving the

Collin 13:36

air conditioning of the brewery. Yeah, because

Brandon 13:39

everyone's gonna be sad because it's October and yeah, in the 90s. Now wait a minute, I'm talking

Collin 13:44

about this in June. Oh,

Brandon 13:46

okay, fair, yeah, right, right. Okay, so June,

Collin 13:48

100 degrees. I got sunburn. It was hot. I was dehydrated because I only brought like one thing of water because I'm dumb. They were supposed to have one in July. Oh, canceled. So then they're like, "Okay, well, we'll do it. We'll do another one because it was too. It was it was over 95 degrees.

Brandon 14:08

Yeah, yeah,

Collin 14:08

right. They're like, okay, we'll cancel. We'll do it in August.

Brandon 14:11

No, even hotter.

Collin 14:14

Even hotter. Just kidding. Yeah. September. No surprise.

Brandon 14:19

Still too hot. Still hot.

Collin 14:20

And then today, it was like 94 degrees. Was it really that long today? I did not leave the

Brandon 14:28

house today, so I don't know the answer. Well, so the

Collin 14:31

official okay. The the what big weather wants you to believe? Oh, is that it was it was 90 degrees today. Yeah, but when I jumped into what heat index

Brandon 14:42

would be higher, right? To

Collin 14:44

leave my car was like it is 95, like 94 right now.

Brandon 14:49

Well, I mean that's without heat index though, probably right, like around 8990, degrees without any heat index. So there is going to be some of that, you know. We were out

Collin 15:01

on like parched earth because it's all dead, just hard ground, dry, radiating up. And this time, there were like seven vendors. It was great. Okay,

Brandon 15:13

better.

Collin 15:15

There was.

Brandon 15:16

Did you bring water this time?

Collin 15:17

I brought so much water. Good. Also, okay, good. Good learning inside the brewery, they have a little wall spigot that it looks like a beer tap thing, but it's for it's just water, right? I was like,

Brandon 15:31

oh, is that for the dogs normally? No,

Collin 15:34

for people. It's

Brandon 15:34

okay, okay, okay. Collin drinking out of the dog watering.

Collin 15:39

I would have taken it. It's all right. The water.

Brandon 15:42

It's okay. So I

Collin 15:43

was like, I filled up my water bottle three times, and and the event, she said, okay, you can you can. This is the thing. Setup is at 10. The event starts at 12. Um,

Brandon 15:58

that seems like a lot of setup time. Well, okay. This is

Collin 16:03

this is too much setup time. And I mean, yeah,

Brandon 16:06

I mean, maybe for like the is there like a PA system?

Collin 16:11

No.

Brandon 16:12

Okay. Okay.

Collin 16:13

No, but that's too much time. Yeah. Well, okay. So if somebody, okay, so maybe two hours is enough. If you have like lots of wares, like if you were selling, yeah, if you're like

Brandon 16:25

a craft tent,

Collin 16:26

bobbles and leashes and this stuff, and you've got aisles in your section, like yeah, you're gonna need two hours. So two people did get set up. I think about two hours. Megan was like, "Oh, what time we were gonna be there? What time are you gonna be there? I was like, 1145. Yeah, because

Brandon 16:43

what's your setup? A table.

Collin 16:45

I have a tent and a table, and I did. Oh, do you have your banner

Brandon 16:48

still?

Collin 16:49

Have a little banner. Oh, I have, but I brought my tablecloth. That's like a big banner now. So just throw tablecloth on. Upgrade. I don't. I didn't even bring pup cup stuff because I was like, there will be no dogs. I am not. So I had, I literally had a bowl full of tennis balls and like two of those clear plastic pop-ups, and I was like, done. Here I am. Yeah, set up by myself. Hat

Brandon 17:16

acquired. Put my hat on. But okay, now they know what I do. I'm in.

Collin 17:20

I'm in the zone. Yeah, I showed up. Okay, showed up at like 1140, and I was like, "Done. I'm here. Let's do this. And I think I talked to five people, and that was everyone who came through. Oh, oh no. It was pretty bad. That's quite bad. Yeah, yeah. So again, the event started at noon. One of the vendors, which is like a travel agent guy, showed up at one. At 230, he was he loudly was like, "Well, I can do better stuff at my office, and like hucked stuff in his Mini Cooper and drove off. And I was like, now we have I we have an internal policy of if we're going to an event, I will be like the last one leaving. Like I just it's just a thing. Like I just-it's just like because you know I want to respect the organizers and I don't want them to feel like whatever, whatever. And I've been to some events where it's like you cannot leave; like they will like slap your hand. It's in the thing that you sign of like I will not pack up until this is done. Maybe they

Brandon 18:40

should have advertised their event, and then maybe people wouldn't leave so quick,

Collin 18:43

you know. And then like he bolts, and the person next to me, they're like, "Well, we got work to do, and so they start packing up, and it's it's like it's 240. And then once that person left, that was the bulwark of my side. It was like we were set up in an L, right? So there were name vendors, and then we were on the little stubby leg. So the the the travel agent was in the corner of that L. He made the transition. He left. Then there was me, and then there was 123, more vendors, and they were just like gone. Oh man! Seven minutes, and I'm like, oh my gosh, I don't want to do this. And one of the other vendors is like looking over, and they're like, "So, what time are you guys gonna leave, Collin? And I was like, "We'll be the last ones, you know. Like, I'm just desperately scanning. I'm like, "Where are the organizers? Where are they? Surely they see this. We've got an like it was like an hour and a half left. You would think so, but you know, air going, and then I realize I'm out of water. So like, so I'm grabbing my my my little jug basically, and I'm walking. Yeah, and one of the organizers like darts over, and she's like, "Everything okay? And I was like, "I'm just gonna go get some water. And they're like, "Okay, just didn't know if you were gonna like bail on us or something. And I was like. Oh my gosh! I'm just getting some water. I mean, to be fair, everybody else did. I want to bail on you. So yeah, I

Brandon 20:09

really want no idea

Collin 20:11

right now.

Brandon 20:11

It

Collin 20:13

is everything in me, but I'm like, no. Promise, we're gonna be here. I'm gonna stick this out. So I get back. I'm like sitting down. Like, oh, it's so hot. I've got like sweat pouring down. I look over, and one of the organizers is starting. What they do is they've got a booth, but then like in the middle of this L, they have like set up a like a dog agility course so that dogs can come and like have fun and just take pictures and stuff and whatever.

Brandon 20:39

It's too hot for fun, though.

Collin 20:40

She's starting to collect agility items.

Brandon 20:44

Oh,

Collin 20:45

and so I'm like, "What's going on? What are we? What are we? What are we doing here? And I, I'm just watching, and I'm hopeful, and finally

Brandon 20:58

that we're gonna pack, pack, pack it up,

Collin 21:00

pack, pack, pack it up, and I'm like done. So I was like, okay. The organizers, they're they're older, and I'm I know they have a lot to put up, and it's really hot. So I'm like, okay, I will go assist them, and that way they have been packed, and then I will go run, and then that way like I've met my. I'll be the last person to leave. Yeah, yeah, your

Brandon 21:25

your self imposed

Collin 21:27

weirdness.

Brandon 21:28

Yeah,

Collin 21:29

weirdness thing. You know, like whatever. Like I'm sorry. So I just like like I go over. I'm packing and get them done, and and they're just like completely oblivious to like anything of like that, this is bad. Like we really need to not do these events. I think ever again, because obviously we just can't pull this off. And then one of them is like, "Oh, did you see? We've got a special event on October 31.

Brandon 22:02

You're like. no. I'm busy. I'm booked that day. Actually, I

Collin 22:07

did know about this event, Brandon, and there was no way that I was going to be attending to this. Yeah, see, that's why I said

Brandon 22:15

you're booked. You know, you're already that thing.

Collin 22:17

I did the like. Oh, yeah, I know, but man, we just we can't make it. I, I, I'm not gonna give any like,

Brandon 22:31

yeah, yeah, not gonna make anything

Collin 22:32

up. No,

Brandon 22:33

yeah, this is what, yeah, this is what. Yeah, you you just don't say anything else. You just don't. You don't have to like give a whole thing. You say

Speaker 1 22:41

don't. Oh

Brandon 22:42

yeah.

Collin 22:42

Don't. This is this. I got

Brandon 22:44

another thing, and that's it. You don't have to elaborate. You have to come up with. That's enough,

Collin 22:48

Brandon. And if people are struggling with this, I I will give you in 1945. Okay, I know this. E.B. White published Stuart Little. Okay, he's great. It's an old book. Okay, do you know where I'm going with this? Have you heard? Ah,

Brandon 23:04

no, I have no idea. Whenever you said Brandon in 1945, I was like, "Whoa, what is happening? Yeah.

Collin 23:12

Okay, he published this. He like rockets to stardom. Everybody wants his attention. He gets. He does Stuart Little, then he does Charlotte's Web, and he's he's writing for the New Yorker. He's like really in demand, and he was so in demand that in 19 like the later 50s, he was invited to like Eisenhower invited him to come onto like the Committee of Arts and Sciences, okay, and and and and he. This is it, right? The secretary had invited from Eisenhower, and this is what E.B. White wrote. This is it. He said, "I did have to pull this up. He said, "Like, dear mr. Adams, thank you for your letter inviting me to join the committee of the arts and sciences for Eisenhower. I must decline for secret reasons.

Brandon 24:09

Yes, this is excellent. This is now. I'm going to add this to my. I must decline for secret reasons. I like this. This is very good. He wrote.

Collin 24:25

He wrote sincerely, E.B. White. That's it. Thank you. Yes, it's an honor. I must decline for secret reasons. That that's all you have to do. I love like I love love

Brandon 24:37

it. Yeah, I like just the fact that he said like for out loud for secret, secret reasons. Okay, I mean, sure. Why not?

Collin 24:51

Yeah, right. Like he's like, it's

Brandon 24:55

great.

Collin 24:56

Absolutely. What are you gonna come back and say? Like, what do you? What do you do? Yeah,

Brandon 25:02

what reasons? I'm afraid I can't tell you because they're secret. I see aforementioned secret. Their secret.

Collin 25:14

So like, so this conversation is now done, and I can't. I'm

Brandon 25:22

afraid I cannot continue this line of questioning.

Collin 25:27

I know, I know. Move along. I I think about that now. When somebody asks, I have yet to actually say for secret reasons because I don't. I don't have the cachet or the aura to like really pull that off in front of somebody, but man, I'm just I'm just waiting for the day that's like you know when I can actually type that out. It'll probably make more of an impact if it had were like with a typewriter. So maybe that's what I need to do. I'm just that's true. Typewritten for secret reasons I must decline. I love this,

Brandon 26:03

but that is pretty good. I like

Collin 26:06

so. I'm standing there, and I'm just like, I can't make it right. And I smile, and I turn. I've loaded them up, and I turn, and I walk away to mine. By this time, more people have bailed. The person who was like, "Collin, are you leaving? You know, they're gone. The only people who are left are two of the people who had lots of merchandise, right, and things. Ah, and they're still

Brandon 26:34

back. They are, and they're packing. They are actively

Collin 26:37

packing. Their their register is down. There is no point of sale visible, right? And then one of them's like, "Oh crap, how do we get out? And I'm like, "You know, that's a really good question because now I just popped the curb because the where the brewery is, it's got this big open field, and but along the outside of that field is this road, the side road, and I just popped the curb there and drove to where I needed to go and parked. However, there is an uncurbed access point through the parking lot of the brewery that goes out into the field, which all of the people who pulled large trailers ah okay yeah okay they can't hop curbs. They

Brandon 27:19

could. They tried hard enough.

Collin 27:21

Yeah, if they were, you know, whatever. However, here's the thing: I since we had arrived and they had arrived at 10, a food truck had arrived.

Speaker 1 27:32

Oh,

Collin 27:32

and backed into this spot.

Speaker 1 27:35

Oh,

Collin 27:36

dropped the the trailer and then the truck just drove away. Oh no! These vendors who have these massive trailers are like stuck on this island, you know, encircled by a curb, and they're both-they're all like, "What do we do? And so I'm like, and they're older people, and they're like hobbling along through the like the bramble and the uneven rocks and stuff, and I'm like, hold on, I I will go scout out to see if there is a place where you can exit through here, so you don't have to drop this curb because they were really worried. I'm like, I understand. So first off, they're like, well, I know for a fact there's no curb up by the major highway, and I'm like, yeah, but there's also a major ditch. There's a highway because this guy was just like, I'm just gonna go that way, and I'm gonna go on the highway, and I'll just put my blinkers on and merge. I'm like, yeah. Also, there's like a there's a three foot ditch between us and there that you're not getting through, right? You're not getting through. Yeah,

Brandon 28:37

and you're like Volvo, like you know,

Collin 28:41

you know. I think you know. Whatever doesn't matter. You're not getting to that, guys. So eyes scouting around, and and where that side road enters onto the highway, it flays out. You know, like a alluvial fan for the turn lanes, and you know. Oh yeah, yeah. Okay. So when that turn happens, the the the the curb tapers way down, and I'm like, found it. However, you you are going to have to navigate between a telephone pole, the guy wire, and the a fire hydrant. The guy, it's not ideal. No, no. And the guy was kind of like, any other option? I was like, no. He goes, I was like, we're doing it. And I'm like, cool. I'm leaving. Confidence, sir. Yeah. So I like quickly threw my stuff in and then got out of there so I would not have to write. That's true. And then drove over the three foot ditch to flexing, and then drove. I was like, boom. threw hands out the window. Bam! Peace out. I'm out of here. Then I drove drove back and picked up my family, and we are home now. They caught. Thankfully, I convinced them to not come with me because at the time they're like, we have three options. We can either come with you and stay there, and the kids love this because they want to be part of an event, or they could like drop me off and then go find something to do in town for four hours.

Brandon 30:17

Yeah, come

Collin 30:18

pick me up, or I would just go by myself, and I yeah

Brandon 30:24

I really feel like I really feel like the the last option was the far superior option,

Collin 30:29

and I'm like, look, I like I love spending time with everybody. This is grand. However, like no, we are not. Yeah, we are not based on the

Brandon 30:40

last event, the first one is ride out, and just in case I need to make a quick escape, the second

Collin 30:46

one, second one,

Brandon 30:46

also ride out, also. So

Collin 30:49

it just needs to be me. Everything is simplified. We're all good, and then we're just gonna run away, right?

Brandon 30:56

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

Collin 31:00

Oh my gosh! So that was that was that was my event today, and now I I realize that I am once again once again I come to you sunburned and well because I have my awning, but here's the thing, Brandon. Nobody was there. Yeah, and so

Brandon 31:21

like

Collin 31:21

I, I'm gonna go talk to people. I'm gonna go talk to other vendors and other business owners and other people. So I'm gonna go, but then that means I'm not standing under my awning. Yes, I'm away from the awning, and it would be awkward if I drug the awning around with me from awning from person to person.

Brandon 31:39

True, that would be a bit odd, especially when umbrellas exist. I know, which is like a mini awning.

Collin 31:46

Pretty power move, though. I'm just. I mean, that is true.

Brandon 31:50

Just like set down your little awning. So, guys, like match them like face to

Collin 31:54

face, like so. Continue. Entertain me.

Brandon 32:00

Yeah, bringing my own shade. Don't worry. To worry.

Collin 32:03

To worry here. Perfectly reasonable.

Brandon 32:07

Yeah, yeah. So fine. Everything's fine.

Collin 32:09

Yes, that was that was my my grand adventure for today, and I am very much looking forward to going to bed. I mean, yeah, I would, yeah, I would too. That sounds terrible. Like I don't. I was loading stuff up, you know, and when some someone was like, and someone told me this at the at the summit, they they were they actively said like, where do you get all of your energy? And I was like, I what? Just how I am. This is just how I am. Yeah. And someone said, "Did you go home and like crash? And I said, "Yeah, I I actively like the crash happened from the summit like the next morning while after I sat in my seat on the plane. Then yeah, whenever my my body allowed myself to be like, and done. Like yeah, who's done now. Anything.

Brandon 33:03

Let the pilot take over now. Like I'm, I'm,

Collin 33:06

I'm good. At that, that would. I don't know if I told you this. That was. I had not had this happen in a long time. I distinctly remember this happening when we would fly, like for family vacations, where again they don't allow you to do this anymore, but you would pull in with your plane, and if you you could stay in your seat if you were staying on that airplane. Do you remember doing this ever?

Brandon 33:37

Oh, this does sound vaguely familiar. I don't know. Maybe, yeah.

Collin 33:45

Like, hey, if you are staying on this airplane, ah, stay in your seat because you got the same seat for the next flight too, and we're gonna let everybody else off board, do some work, and then we're gonna load everybody back on, and you could just hang out in the airplane, and they didn't.

Brandon 34:01

Yeah, they don't do that anymore for sure. Do not, and I will

Collin 34:05

tell you why. Because I, for a second, I had not had this happen. I probably well over, probably almost, I don't know, 20 years at this point. I'm we're taxing up to our gate. I'm like, okay, E 13, E 13. Gosh, okay, you become an E 13 because you got to do that calculation of like where is my

Brandon 34:22

next gate? Like where is my

Collin 34:24

next? Yeah, yeah. Where do I have to run for granted? You got

Brandon 34:28

to like think about like where. Look, what's you like? You got to know what it is so you know what signs to start looking for when you get inside. As soon as you get to check the screen thing, right? You

Collin 34:37

got to look at left, right, left, right. Do I need to go left here because the numbers are getting larger, or right here because they're getting smaller, and I'm coming out of this terminal. I got to go to another terminal,

Brandon 34:45

or it's going to be like whenever we flew through Charles de Gaulle, right? Like the wall of stuff to look at was just the most insane thing I've ever seen, right? Like there's just like a huge walls of screens, and you just have to like find the one. And then you just like have to go in a direction, right? You have to be like, where is it? Where in the world?

Collin 35:08

And you have to hope. You have to hope that the numbers aren't flashing or moving because there's so many other ones. Yeah, this is what happens on smaller airports where you go to the wall and they have. They like scroll through. They're scrolling, and you're like, "Oh my gosh, I'm going to have an aneurysm just trying to keep track of this. Or it like flicks, it

Brandon 35:25

like changes, right? Because delay or

Collin 35:28

whatever. So I'm coming off. I'm I'm looking. This is relaxing. I'm flipping over to my next flight, and it's E13, and I'm like, "What? Wait a minute! Wait a minute! E 13, E 13. I'm flipping back and forth in the app, and I'm like, "There's no way! Oh my gosh, way! And then I'm like, "Am I gonna get to stay on the airplane? Am I gonna be on the airplane? But I didn't, and I thought, "Okay, this is I'm a noob to this stuff. I thought that once the plane got like its digits, you know, its code or whatever thing it's called. Then it stuck with it the whole time. No, this plane. I think what also confused me was they changed the flight code for the plane from like you know you know 7309 to 1429 or whatever. Like it was a

Brandon 36:21

different flight now.

Collin 36:22

It was a different flight now. This was also this was also was throwing me off. And then I was like, "Wait a minute! Because I've never had to pay attention to this, Brandon. I've this is not something that I was like whatever. Because yeah, it's a different flight. It makes sense. And then I saw I like like bust off the airplane, and then I'm like, "Well, I guess I'll just go sit over there. Yeah. Okay. But then, then I was a little sad because I was like, I, I don't get the the pleasure. You don't get to like pass through the airport. You don't get to see all the cool stores. You didn't have to figure out like where you want to eat. You don't get like I don't. I'm not getting that. Oh, I'm not getting that experience that I hate so much. That's true. I just have to sit here and like relax. Well, I

Brandon 37:06

mean, like it. Yeah, it is a not a nice experience when you have to like sprint through the airport, right? Like, yeah, that is terrible. Like, whenever we were in, we where was oh it was Amsterdam, right? So like all of the they were changing out the passport processing machines. They were like getting new machines, right? So that means there was no machines working.

Collin 37:34

Yes.

Brandon 37:35

So it was back to the dude in the window, you know, dude.

Brandon 37:40

Yeah, and so like that thing took forever, and they were like going through the line, and like they were doing the thing where like, hey, if you're on this flight at this time, come to the front.

Collin 37:52

Yeah, right. And so

Brandon 37:54

like we were slowly getting close to it was our turn to come to the front.

Speaker 2 37:59

Yeah,

Brandon 38:00

and so once we got to the front, it was like run, run all the way because it was just like a small flight from like Amsterdam to Oslo. So it was like not a large plane. And so where are the not large planes? All the way at the end of a terminal, like way over there. Yes, and so it was just like around

Collin 38:26

every other other corner. Yes, down. Yeah,

Brandon 38:28

yeah. And we got there like as the like we got into the line of like the last people group boarding the plane. Like we were. I mean, that's where our seats were anyway. So it didn't matter. But like that's where

Collin 38:41

does it matter? Yeah, we're

Brandon 38:43

like, oh, we're here, we made it, or like right? Oh gosh, the

Collin 38:48

flight from Springfield into Charlotte lands at a series of gates, and I love this so much, Brandon. You talk about like the the tiny obscure ones with nothing there. Okay, yeah, it they have a common boarding area for six gates.

Brandon 39:08

Oh dang! Let's go

Collin 39:09

because they're all super tiny. I'm pretty sure three of those gates, you just walk out to the airplane, and one of them, Megan and I did when we were going through this airport. We just like it was one of those experiences where, like, oh, we're going on the tarmac. Like, I mean, yeah,

Brandon 39:23

that's what we did. Was it Montana when we did that? That was like, it was like, oh, we have to, oh, we have to go outside. Oh, okay,

Collin 39:30

okay, okay, we're doing that. But way back in the way back in the terminal, where typically it's like gate, like where you line up and then you go down the runway thing or the air bridge, no, no. You're like you're still in the terminal. It's just like they call. They're like, okay, for flight, whatever. We're boarding you now, and you're gonna walk to gate e7, which is way the heck down there. And then as soon as that's done, they're walking, and then it's just like one shared gate for these other ones. These. Bridges that are further down, and so you're-it's wild. Like you're just, what is going on right now? Yeah, one of them. We walked out, and we're like, yeah, they're

Brandon 40:08

just like on the end over there. Like that's where they are. Well, this little

Collin 40:11

finger that's just like whoop way over there. No, no, we-you don't even get a dedicated person for you. That's how small this is. Oh dang, dang! Harsh. It's great. So yeah. So that was anyway. Just got me thinking. Yeah. Now I can finally crash. Just

Brandon 40:42

I don't know what's. uh? What's new with you? What's going on? Uh, not a lot, right? I don't really think I've done anything particularly exciting this week. I have been I've been gathering materials for my experiment, but like not telling the kids what it's for. And this is like the best thing of all time, uh, because they're like, "What? Like, what are we gonna do with this? I'm like, you'll see later, and like they, and so it's driving them a little bit crazy. But we're doing the viscosity lab thing where we like race through like the sauce race down the ramp, and so I'm just like, I asked them if they would just get things from the cafeteria for me, and then I had this one kid who's like, "Hey, he showed up. He goes, "Hey, Miss Funkhouser, I got something for you, and just like dumped these like most random assortment of sauce packets ever from his pantry in his house.

Collin 41:33

Oh my goodness! Yes, yes, perfect. Exactly what I needed. It's

Brandon 41:39

exactly what we need. Amazing. So that's what this week is going to be terrible because I think I have like a bunch of random meeting things that I have to go to. Like our first inter conference Zoom call thing is this week? So I'll report on that at a later date. But I'm not real excited about this. I think it's the same day I have to go talk to the curriculumy people that are coming back that I didn't even know were coming the last time, and we showed up and they were like, "Did you even know we're going to be here? We're like, honestly, No, so

Collin 42:25

that's bad. It's kind of bad. It's kind of annoying.

Brandon 42:29

Like, oh dear. So that's gonna be kind of insane. But I have some updates for you in other things because I haven't really been. It's been sort of like in the zone, like doing things, right? So I have a small update on Brandon watches Mecha anime things.

Collin 42:43

Oh yes,

Brandon 42:45

right. I'm still putting off this other one that I've been watching because I just can't because it's killing me. But I did watch more Bubblegum Crisis. Yes.

Collin 42:57

Oh yes. Yes, I

Brandon 42:58

did. Right. So I watched the follow-up series, the Bubblegum Crisis 2040, right? So this is like the reboot version, yeah. And this version has a story. It's amazing. It's amazing, right? Who could have imagined?

Collin 43:22

Yes.

Brandon 43:25

So it has 26 episodes. They're like 30 minutes or less. So like, not bad. But it actually has a coherent story. Well, for the most part, right? Like, there's sometimes every once while you're like, wait, what? But it's fine. But it actually, like, basically, it takes the idea that like the first series had that was like it was good for like three episodes, and then it just kind of like went off the rails. It took that idea and made it like the whole season's arc, right? And then there was also a lot of other elements that were like brought up randomly in the first version of the show that they like wove into the story to like make it make more sense. So there's a couple times where you're like, oh, okay, I remember this from the other one, and like it makes sense in context with other things that are happening, amazing!

Collin 44:23

Wow, look at this.

Brandon 44:25

So there is um not enough robot punching, right? Could do with a bit more robot punching, but there is a lot more like actual characters, like like oh okay, this person has like a thought. How cool is that? But it could do with a bit more robot punching. I feel like I feel like they went too far the other way a little bit. Like the first series was like, this is the most chaotic disaster I've ever seen in my life. But there's cool robot punching, and then the. This like reboot series was like okay, this is like an actual story with actual plot and actual character motivations. I know, crazy, right? Imagine and then not quite enough robot punching. Like starts out with some robot punching, and then it's kind of towards the middle. There's just a lot less robot punching, and it's like, dang, dang, where did all the robot punching go? Sad, but it's actually pretty good. So I watched that today. I finished watching it today. I've been like watching a little bit here and there, but Collin. So I just wanted I wanted to update you. Watch this. Characters are better. Okay, story is better. Not enough robot punching, but other than that, it's fine.

Collin 45:49

Sure, good.

Brandon 45:50

Okay, but so I just wanted as a little update since we know the story basically anyway. Rogue AI takes over robots, tries to merge them all into herself. They punch it. Boom. Okay.

Collin 46:03

Got it. Got it. Got it.

Brandon 46:05

Yeah. Now, I also have another returning segment for you, right, Collin. We should probably talk about Fugue State movie reviews real quick. Yes,

Collin 46:20

it's my favorite.

Brandon 46:22

Right now, this isn't a movie. I realize that there are there is another category to this fugue state television watching that I have in my life, and this is really obscure early '90s cartoon shows. Oh, yeah.

Collin 46:49

Okay.

Brandon 46:50

Okay. And so today, Collin, I would like to talk to you about the Barnyard Commandos.

Collin 47:01

What? Yeah. Okay. Okay. Sorry, brain is full on. Yes.

Brandon 47:14

Just for just for your knowledge, during the research for this, I stumbled across a few other titles where I went, "Oh my gosh, I forgot all about! And so I've written them down. So just stay tuned for more if I can find them. Okay, so this is the most like random thing memory that I have from my childhood, right? So this this aired in like 1990, right? And this is like this is what we would call a failed endeavor, sure, because there apparently in the original television airing there was only 13 episodes, and then they just stopped because nobody was watching it. And yeah, it's not good. And then, like, of those, only four seem to exist in English.

Collin 48:14

Oh, I didn't know this was a. It's a four. It's a.

Brandon 48:17

It is a an American French Production. So there are other episodes you can find online, but they are in French, and that is just so trippy that I could not. I watched one in French. Was like, yo, this is so weird.

Collin 48:37

That's I. What were the French doing?

Brandon 48:40

I have no idea. Oh well, actually, I do know they were trying to sell toys.

Collin 48:45

Oh, right. This was one of. So this is this

Brandon 48:47

is one of those where like this was not a we're gonna have a show and then sell toys off the show. It's like no, we want to sell these toys. We should have a show. That's what it

Collin 49:00

was. I see. Yeah, and when you

Brandon 49:03

watch this, that that definitely comes across 100% when you watch it now. As as an almost 42 year old man, like this comes across so hard. Like I don't really remember a lot about it from 1990, right? But I do know that it had some sort of effect on me because the Barnyard Commandos is the subject of my first grade young author's book that I wrote. Yes, so whenever we did those books in school, yeah, right. My first grade book was called "The Barnyard Commanders.

Collin 49:49

Oh my gosh!

Brandon 49:51

Yes,

Collin 49:51

is this is this some copyright? Are we gonna? What is happening? No, this

Brandon 49:54

my okay. So I also I went. It's my Susan has them in here. She has stolen. And put them on her bookshelf, and I went and looked at it, and I was trying to see like, I did I did I actually remember anything about this when I was a kid? Like, so it turns out that my first grade young author's book is actually a Barnyard Commandos fan fiction with completely made up character.

Collin 50:20

Oh,

Brandon 50:21

original characters, right? I love this

Collin 50:24

so much. Oh my gosh!

Brandon 50:28

Right, and after watching four episodes of the Barnyard Commandos, I think my plot might actually make more sense. My like six pages that I wrote, probably not that hard. Makes more sense than than some of these episodes, right? So like, like when you read like the, so yeah, so apparently this show deeply affected me on some level, and I didn't remember it at all. I just remembered the name, and then I remember. Then I looked up, and I also discovered this. And I'm this is what I found, and I definitely remember this. This picture that I just sent you, I remember this 100% The Barnyard Commandos Burger King Kids Club toys. Hold on,

Collin 51:27

nothing has come. Oh, what are

Brandon 51:34

these? Yes, it's like a wrist thing.

Collin 51:39

Because we wristbands were all the rage. Wristbands

Brandon 51:42

were the thing. Now there were other actual toys that they sold in stores too. Apparently, some of which look vaguely familiar, and I think I remember seeing them. But I definitely think I had one of these. I think I had the pig one, the tank one, right, right. I think I had that one at some point in my life, so yes. So the actual plot of the Barnard Commandos is somewhat nebulous because on the internet it says something, right? It says that these are animals that have like consumed some sort of like nuclear waste and have become like militant or whatever, but like in the show, 0% of that comes across anywhere. Oh, there is like no mention of that. So I don't know if that was like the original concept for like the toy line, and that's kind of where they got the idea. But like in the show, they're just like in the barnyard, and that's it. And there's just like other normal barnyard animals there, like cows and stuff, and they're just like fighting all the time, right? So there's two groups. There's the rams, yeah, and the porks. I bet you can guess which animals make up these groups here. So it's just like the sheep and the pigs, and they all have like really lame names, and like they just like fight a bunch, and then sometimes it's lunchtime, and they take a lunch break, and they eat together, and then they fight tomorrow. Yeah, they're usually fighting over like some sort of treasure or something. That's sort of what it is. They're both trying to get a thing. Shenanigans ensue, and either nobody ends up with the thing, or they share the thing. Yeah,

Collin 53:44

that's it.

Brandon 53:45

It's kind of it, right? And the biggest travesty of this whole entire show is like they try to do the puns, you know. Sure, and they just don't land at all. Oh, they're just bad. They're like not quite there, right? They they just, you know, they had like one of the episodes. They were talking about like time traveling stuff, blah blah. Like apparently a long time ago, the the the the the rams and porks would the lived in harmony, blah blah, and they were invaded by like basically they're making like a Mongol horde joke, uh with like chickens and ducks were like the Mongols, right? I don't know. It doesn't really make a lot of sense. But they said like Genghis, like chicken. I'm like, guys, Genghis Kluck was right there, and you didn't didn't use that, right? You didn't. What are you doing?

Collin 54:43

Why this was? Oh, look. Okay, naming naming things is hard. I would this real quick side rail. I have to give props to Lillian real quick on names. So we were out to dinner, and sometimes the restaurant was playing. The what is it? Monster Mash, Monster Jam, Monster Jam with the monster trucks or whatever. Oh yeah! And one one of the one of the trucks looks dad's truck, and so of course the kids were like, "Didi, like you need to do this. That'd be fun. You can take your truck and jacket and blah blah, and Dad goes goes well. What would we call it? Lily, like she like she'd been sitting on this was like Dede's disaster. Yes, I was like yes, that is a perfect monster truck name. So like just say that. So anyway, anyway, back to the missing Genghis Cluck. Yeah, right. I mean, that's at least

Brandon 55:43

it's not great, but like, it's better than some of this other stuff. And like, they they just you know didn't really like the plot is bad and the jokes are bad.

Speaker 3 56:00

Yeah, like

Brandon 56:01

it's really lame. They do stuff like, "Oh, they're oh hey, you know the the porks they speak in code to each other in pig Latin.

Collin 56:16

It's not good. But

Brandon 56:18

then the general guy doesn't understand the pig Latin, and so they just have a person say it again like normal.

Collin 56:28

Dumb. That's so lame. Like

Brandon 56:35

I don't.

Collin 56:36

No,

Brandon 56:37

it's it's the dumbest thing ever, like like real bad. I was trying to look up some of their names here, and they're like not even like great, like it's like

Collin 56:55

yeah,

Brandon 56:56

General Lardo,

Collin 56:57

oh

Brandon 56:58

right, Sergeant Pullover, uh huh, uh huh. He's the sheep, right? And then some of them like are very like bad. the The voice acting is something else in this show. Like the the the some of the characters are like definitely just like trying to be like bad knockoffs of like action movie dudes. Like one person is like one of the sheep is definitely just Rambo, but like the worst Rambo impression ever.

Collin 57:39

Sure,

Brandon 57:40

and one of the pigs is like sometimes he kind of sounds like Arnold Schwarzenegger, but other times he doesn't. So like I don't really know what they're going for there. Like

Collin 57:50

it's hard to keep going after a while. I really

Brandon 57:52

like like sometimes it's Arnoldy, but then other times it's not. But like yeah. But it, but it is, but it's not like it's just, it's not, it's not good. Like it's just, and so there's not really like a through line here, except for at some point they're like looking for yeah, like I said, they're always they're looking for something, And then they they try to outsmart each other, and as you know, in '90s children's cartoons, that leads to nothing good happening.

Collin 58:33

Nothing ever happening. Like nothing ever

Brandon 58:35

good happening, but like it's just like the weakest show of all time, and then you watch this. I even just watching four episodes. You are like, yeah, yeah, they canceled this. Yeah, they did. Like this is like the toy. You look at the toys too. Like the toys aren't even really that interesting, right? It's like, oh, this is a weird-looking sheep with like a carrot catapult thing. Yeah. Oh man, like they had like they food fight. That's like what's happening here, right? Like, and then they fight over food, but then they throw the food at each other. So like, wait, you could just eat the food, though.

Collin 59:21

Could just, and

Brandon 59:22

then you wouldn't have to be so mad. They just do that. Like it's just, it's so lame. Like, like when you look at the toys, like the pictures of the toys and stuff. They're just like they're really not that cool. So like when you think about like the other toys at the time that were available, and other like anthropomorphized animals that were like you know around. In doing things, there's just there's I don't see how they were like ah yes, someone will want this instead of a teenage mutant ninja turtle, or instead you know like I don't know they were really like hoping a lot on this, but like when you look at them, they're just like not that interesting of a toy. Like they don't really do anything.

Collin 1:00:31

Well, you know, I was going to compare them to Cows of Mumesa, but Cowboys of Mumesa. But that that came out two years later, so really they weren't fighting. They weren't vying for the same attention. That's

Brandon 1:00:43

no, no, they weren't. Like, I mean, they were early on the thing, I guess, but like, you know, they missed out. Like, they just didn't really have the vibe. Like, they wanted to sell toys, and they forgot to come up with a cool toy. Like, that's what happened.

Collin 1:01:03

That's crazy.

Brandon 1:01:04

It's it's crazy. Like in the era where there was just like the weirdest toys of all time. So I saw one of these episodes that had the commercials in it. Yo, yeah. What? I remember half this stuff. Like, what in the world is this? What

Collin 1:01:20

were we? What was going on in the 90s? That is sick. There was just all kinds of

Brandon 1:01:24

crazy stuff, like all over the place. And then to be in that market, right? It's a very saturated, high, you know, market there in the early 90s, early 90s, children's toys, late like late 80s, 90s. Like this is like a big time, right? The cartoon slash toy tie-in crossover events were like big. It's a big thing, but they like they just forgot to make a cool toy, and so like they have lame toys, and then whoever they got to write this show, holy moly, they did not.

Collin 1:01:59

They were just like, you know what, this will be crazy, guys. Yeah, I don't know. I

Brandon 1:02:04

don't know who watched this was like, yeah, that's gold. Well, see,

Collin 1:02:09

somebody watched, somebody read Animal Farm, and I think so. Somebody read like,

Brandon 1:02:16

well, I don't, I don't know if there was. Somebody read, they got a time machine and they read the cliff notes of Animal Farm.

Collin 1:02:23

Yes, yes,

Brandon 1:02:24

and said that animals on a farm fight each other. And they're like, "Yo, great! Like I can't even remember any of the puns because like they weren't even good and they didn't even like land and they didn't like. I don't know. Like it's just

Collin 1:02:42

Look, and like their names

Brandon 1:02:44

are also puns, but like they don't address each other by their name enough for it to like land either, because they're just like, well, Lieutenant, just like they don't say their full name half the time, and so it's just like you know, they have like a fun name, and it is a you know like pork chop or something, but like they don't say it.

Collin 1:03:09

Yeah.

Brandon 1:03:10

So you can't even like. There's not even the like funny jokes that like the parents would get. You know. Yeah. Because like a lot of these cartoons, like some of the jokes are for the parents because it's like it's like references to things, or like historical meme, like jokes or whatever, and they're like somebody's supposed to get this watching it, and then like they didn't have any of that, right?

Collin 1:03:30

Here's here's what I'm going to say. We're all I'm going to say is Brandon. Is if you are interested, the National Library of Medicine has a has has a has an article called "The Case of Cocaine Use During the 80s and 90s, and I'm realizing this might be related. Disappeared in the 90s, so it had to have started in the 80s. In 89, I think, is when they okay the

Brandon 1:03:59

toys came out, right?

Collin 1:04:00

Okay, so that's I'm just going to leave that little bit of historical fact for you, and it may

Brandon 1:04:08

potentially be related. We don't know.

Collin 1:04:10

Just say that maybe we know for sure were generated, and these were pushed under you know influence of external forces is all going to say.

Brandon 1:04:25

Yeah.

Collin 1:04:26

So maybe because this whole thing, like I know you talk about, like this is a fugue state thing. I don't even want to know like the fever dream somebody had to have had to have come up with this. Oh, I know, right? Like, where are we going with all of this,

Brandon 1:04:42

I don't know. That's why I'm saying, like my first grade young author book does a better tells a better story, right? Because in my in my opinion, right, my my young author book, we had we were the animals on the farm. There are pigs and rams in my. Book, right? Wonderfully illustrated. I might add, not really, but like they are fighting against outside invading forces, right? They're teaming up to repel unnamed invaders. I think there is a name in there. I can't remember what it was, but like there was a villain who was trying to take over the farm in the barnyard, and the barnyard commanders were like, "No, we will fight against all attempts to take over our farmland, right? And they did.

Collin 1:05:33

Yeah, and

Brandon 1:05:33

that was my book. That was a plot of my book, and that is better than the four episodes that I was. Yeah, heavy bias included, right? Like I understand. Well, I understand. I'm very biased in this matter, but it's

Collin 1:05:54

insane. I don't understand going on anymore. Just

Brandon 1:06:07

great! It's great. I also don't know how my first grade teacher let me draw a pig driving a tank as my as my book. Like that seems a bit like I don't know. I don't know. It was like, like yeah, sure, whatever. I don't think I like doing it

Collin 1:06:24

these days.

Brandon 1:06:25

Yeah, you know,

Collin 1:06:26

pigs and tanks.

Brandon 1:06:28

I can just imagine she was like, "Okay, Brandon, whatever you say. Yeah,

Collin 1:06:33

right. Capitalize

Brandon 1:06:35

that name there, and we're just gonna keep moving on. Move on. It's gonna do the thing.

Collin 1:06:48

Goodness!

Brandon 1:06:49

Yeah, yeah. So, so this is this is very. I like I said. I recognized whenever I started watching it. Like I recognized some of the Like art, I guess. Like I recognized, like as it looked familiar. Sure, you know what I mean. Like the character models and stuff, and like the little narrator, the bit, the really annoying bad narrator. I was like, that sounds familiar. That looks that that's that that that's triggering a deep memory somewhere, but like other than that, I had absolutely no other memory of the except for a couple of the toys and the name attached to this. It's

Collin 1:07:33

crazy

Brandon 1:07:34

episodes on YouTube, and I found them. And oh man, oh man. So bad, Collin. It's so

Collin 1:07:46

bad. You know what? I thought you know for a moment I'm gonna go try and like watch these, but I'm I'm realizing that I think for my health I need not do this. So I'm just you should

Brandon 1:07:56

watch one. You should watch one. I

Collin 1:07:58

should just watch. You should watch like

Brandon 1:07:59

parts of one. You don't have to watch the whole thing, right? They're like they're only like 20 minutes lost, if that. So like, yeah, and just like skip through the little opening credits because it's like the the little song is bad. Also, it just says like, that's all it does the whole time.

Collin 1:08:17

Sweet,

Brandon 1:08:18

it's like a minute of that. You skip that, like it just just listen and observe the insanity

Collin 1:08:27

to the glory

Brandon 1:08:28

that is this show. It's

Collin 1:08:31

perfect.

Brandon 1:08:33

It's something.

Collin 1:08:37

Oh my gosh!

Brandon 1:08:40

There you go. Just a just a brief one here because, like I said, there's no plot to speak of. Can't summarize a plot really because one doesn't exist. And yeah, so there you go. There you go. Two updates, right?

Collin 1:08:55

That's that's a lot to take in right now. Is a lot, man. It's pretty. I'm not sure which where to. Hmm. Gonna have to. Yeah. There you go.

Brandon 1:09:05

So just look at. Apparently, apparently too. According to the Wikipedia page, right? You need to keep a lookout though, because, right? It says here, um.

Collin 1:09:20

Oh no!

Brandon 1:09:21

In June of 2020, it was like the the IP was like bought, right? And in 2025, it was acquired by this other company with plans for a new toy line, comic book, and animated series, so so there might be right. There's just this little like two sentences here that says that potentially the barnyard command. Is coming for a revive.

Collin 1:10:04

Come back, you know.

Brandon 1:10:05

Yeah, coming back, right? So they go.

Collin 1:10:11

Okay. Also,

Brandon 1:10:12

also, I just realized after we just talked about like how they forgot to make a good toy, right? But these toys were produced by playmates. What on earth? How do? What is this? Like, what are you guys doing? You guys made like all the stuff. Maybe they're just like too busy on other things. They're like, I know, can't be bothered for this. But like,

Collin 1:10:35

yeah, because they were. I mean, they did all the action figures, right? They did, yeah, all kinds of stuff. Mutant Ninja Turtles stuff, yeah, you know. But like, how? But that so that was like a that was

Brandon 1:10:48

already like a product. That was already like an IP from like something else, right? And so like, I think that's part of if like if they had to come up with it, or they like, hey, put a team on making this and just like develop it internally, like okay, well you can see where it's not going to be as good as like exactly. There's them right, like

Collin 1:11:08

for sure,

Brandon 1:11:09

yeah.

Collin 1:11:10

Oh, can we we need to have a separate conversation about how the '90s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles action figures were all like grimacing and had the widest smile snarl things like that was that was

Brandon 1:11:25

definitely they're intense. They're fighting Collin. They're like, er, yeah. I mean, they're all fighting though.

Collin 1:11:32

All of them because they're yeah. Okay. Anyway, sorry. Sorry, I changed all this. I saw a picture as I was like, there they are.

Brandon 1:11:39

Yes.

Collin 1:11:40

Oh my gosh! Well, okay. Well, that's that's something there for you. I just needed

Brandon 1:11:49

you to okay, yeah. So there, there. In addition to the the few other Fuku State movies I have on the list so far, I've also added a subcategory for Random cartoons that I vaguely remember.

Collin 1:12:04

It's but it it slots in nicely. It

Brandon 1:12:07

does. It does. Right. It does. And so

Collin 1:12:09

good. Like

Brandon 1:12:10

I I know that you already know about things like Cowboys of Moom Mesa and the Biker Meister Mars, right? So we're we're gonna I'm gonna put those on there. But there's a couple others that I don't know if you remember these.

Collin 1:12:20

Okay. So there's one of

Brandon 1:12:21

them that I did not remember at all until I saw the name, and I was like, "Oh my gosh, wow! Okay, I can't believe that existed, but there it is, right there.

Collin 1:12:34

Wild times,

Brandon 1:12:35

I saw a picture. I was like, "Wow, okay, that was real. Yes,

Collin 1:12:39

somebody actually sat in a boardroom and said, "Yeah, like well, and

Brandon 1:12:44

also, kind of like this, like, oh, okay, so this was real, okay, got it. Like, it's it is good to know after all this time, like, because I haven't really done any like serious thinking about the Barnyard Commandos like ever until now, clearly, and except for when I was five, but like, or six or whatever, how old I wasn't. Yeah, we went six. Like, uh, it it like doesn't feel like a thing that was act that actually existed, right? Because like I've never met anybody else that remembered that.

Collin 1:13:17

Yeah, and just like logically, how could how could something like that exist in a logical world? Like surely no one would ever actually try and put that together, right? And so it's there's a lot of yeah, and

Brandon 1:13:31

so like you know, there's this thing that's been in like the back of my head for a long time. Like I wrote about this. Why? Why did I do that? Yeah, where did this come from? Yeah, like where did this come from? And so, at least now that I know that it was a thing that existed, like the internet has allowed me to realize, okay, this was a thing. Other people saw it too. It wasn't just me. I mean, it might have been just me because it nobody was really watching it. But like, it was. I probably only saw it like once or twice, you know what I mean? Yeah. And then it like went away forever. So like, I don't. I was like, where you know? It was just it sort of existed as this like very nebulous thought in my brain of like I remember the name. The name stuck out to me a lot, and I remember that there was pigs and sheep. It's kind of all I got, but I'm imagining that I also I'm pretty sure I did have that one toy of the pig with that Burger King toy of the pig in the tank because in my book there is a pig driving a tank, Right, so like, I think that existed too, right? Like,

Collin 1:14:46

absolutely,

Brandon 1:14:47

I think that's where that connection came from, you know. Like,

Collin 1:14:50

must have

Brandon 1:14:51

it must have because I can't think of. I mean, you know, I could have come up with this like independently, but I doubt it. Very much right, so like, I just think that that you know was also there, and so like I don't know, but it is it's good to finally investigate this a little bit and be like, okay, it was real. Yes, I'm not crazy, which which is how I felt for a long time. How could you not? It's like dang. Okay, it actually is a thing that existed. So, so I do at least feel better now, like emotionally about this. Like I have some emotional closure now, and now I now I can move on and do other things. So there you go. Very

Collin 1:15:45

nice, very nice.

Brandon 1:15:48

Like write a sequel. No, I'm scarlet. There you go.

Collin 1:15:53

Coming for you. Well, how about how about I can I can close this out. Oh yes, love that. Haiku here. You know, I will change the change this up a little bit. So here you go. Night drops the curtain. Our sleeping bags earn their keep. Milky Way climbs high. Ooh yeah, let's go. How do I how do I talk about how it got cold? I don't want to say cold, so we'll talk about. I

Brandon 1:16:29

know that's good. I like this.

Collin 1:16:31

He's excellent. Ah, ah, ah, oh, there you go. Refreshed. There you go. Let's do this. So, oh my. Well, still processing a lot of what was discussed here, grappling with reality. Yeah, it's really

Brandon 1:16:49

yes. That's it's a good way to put

Collin 1:16:52

it. Put my head and on my pillow and try not to ask too many questions. Yeah, yeah. Don't watch any of

Brandon 1:16:58

this right before you go to bed. That won't be good for you.

Collin 1:17:00

Not doing any of that. No. Yeah, I know. Right, right. With that, we'll do this again soon.

Brandon 1:17:09

All right.

Collin 1:17:10

Okay. Love you.

Brandon 1:17:11

Love you too.

Collin 1:17:12

Bye. Bye.