oops, all allusions
Brandon is able to run away. Collin has been on LinkedIn. We review PEMDAS.
Be Bear Aware
LinkedIn sends me emails like I care
Emails are terrible
You’re not getting a potato
Able to run away
Professional development of self
Relief seal
You have to poke it
The Iliad: Lots of stabbing
Oops all allusions…
Biz Blitz!!
PEMDAS
Haiku
Jurassic reptile
Leisurely moving through time
Outliving us all
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A VERY ROUGH TRANSCRIPT OF THE EPISODE
PROVIDED BY OTTER.AI
SUMMARY KEYWORDS
talk, work, weird, emails, people, linkedin, table, cool, sit, reference, wild, important, read, hard, give, brain, property manager, walk, remodels, book
SPEAKERS
Collin Funkhouser, Brandon
Collin Funkhouser 00:04
Welcome to Oh, brother, a podcast where we try to figure it all out with your hosts, Brandon. And Colin, on this week's show, oops, all illusions. I don't know what that says about me. But I had a dream last night where we were recording this conversation. And it was my turn to do the Haiku at the end. And I didn't have a haiku, and I woke up panicking.
Brandon 00:37
Luckily, it's my turn. And I do have one. If you're not, right, Fear not. I
Collin Funkhouser 00:45
have fears, fears assuage for now.
Brandon 00:49
So yeah. first ever live haiku writing.
Collin Funkhouser 00:56
Seriously, my dream was like, towards the end of the conversation, I just started to like Vamp more and more. And you were like, Well, I gotta go. And I was like, Johnny. We're all good. Now. Everything's fine. Not
Brandon 01:10
too dissimilar from normal, if we're completely honest. You know, it's fine.
Collin Funkhouser 01:22
My computer's so confused. It's trying to switch between all things. It's, it's, it's switched into work mode the same time it's switched into sleep mode. Because it's
Brandon 01:32
confusing.
Collin Funkhouser 01:33
I know. My, my computer tries to help me avoid things. But it does a very, very bad job because it I'm always my I don't have a set schedule. Maybe if I had a set schedule life would be it would work. But because I don't it doesn't. And so it just gets confused and angry at me.
Brandon 01:54
I tried to turn off this feature like just don't even just I just don't even try don't worry about it. It it acts as
Collin Funkhouser 02:03
a good like, reminder to me at least have like a I know you're working but just remember it's it's late so like stay aware because otherwise I just won't I just won't
Brandon 02:15
so I have to hit August I want you to re program the warning sign just because when you said Be aware of the only thing I can think of are those signs that say Be bear aware the bear away right leg is
Collin Funkhouser 02:39
what they are aware things have gone horribly wrong. Computer Tell me more.
Brandon 02:45
Yeah.
02:51
Oh my gosh.
Brandon 02:53
Oh, just whenever you're working too late Barix comes. What it's like the sleepy time bear. Right. Oh, can I pick you but it's like, but it's still like scolding you like, I thought we talked about going to sleep like No, no way. It was like, just like, shoves tea yet. You know?
Collin Funkhouser 03:18
Like on this hat and slippers.
03:22
Little neck.
Collin Funkhouser 03:27
Exactly. Well, I can't do anything I guess I'll just accept this and except the
Brandon 03:34
bear the T from the bear. Just go up.
Collin Funkhouser 03:38
Anyway. David I the bear. Right. If you don't know should back on that. Let's have a conversation you're gonna have? Of course, you're gonna argue you can argue with the bear. Yes. No, you're not how it works. Not how any of this work? That's for sure. No.
Brandon 03:55
So yeah, I say is I casually take a sip of this camera Miltie that I have here. Conveniently. Yama.
04:06
Ah.
Collin Funkhouser 04:10
Oh, so between that and read signing into LinkedIn, for the first time in a long time today has been a lot of fun.
04:16
Well, that's an adventure.
Brandon 04:17
Right? LinkedIn sends me emails, like I care about it. But like, it was like a mandatory thing. Like I had to make a LinkedIn thing for one of my college classes or whatever. And so it's like, you know, because they're like a professional or whatever. But like, it's, I just had to do it enough to show that I was doing it. Right. So I really have like half of a LinkedIn profile. Sure. Right. I think I follow you. And that's it. And then Like, there's like, no, it's like the least professional thing ever. Like, is there a picture? No. Did I finish all the steps for like, doing all the things that LinkedIn wants me to do? Yeah, no. Does LinkedIn send me 7000 emails a day? Like it's something that I care about. Right? It tries to. But I'm not interested in a LinkedIn. I don't know what you're doing. But stop.
Collin Funkhouser 05:31
Mine. My goodness, mine is really I get the yum. Ah, I get that weird marketing messages from them. Right. Like you have a new message on LinkedIn. I'm like, that's weird. Yeah. But it's really a message. Yeah, no, no, no, it's they've just, it's just a paid advertisement. Right? Somebody paid to get access to this. I
Brandon 05:53
also, I also get the ones that are like, because I signed up, and I like, have Missouri State as my thing, because I did a college right. It just sends me all kinds of like weird Missouri State updates, like Did you know, like, pazza, between weird LinkedIn emails and 7000 Alumni mails that they send you per week? Not per week. They're not quite too bad. But everyone's just get one and like, what?
06:24
Yeah, yeah, kit weird. So I went through,
Collin Funkhouser 06:30
going through going through a process of unsubscribing to as much emails as I possibly can. And I don't know when this started to become a thing. Like I always knew this was this happened. But it seems like it's happening even more, where you typically the time was, you would go and you'd unsubscribe from from an email. And then you'd hit unsubscribe, it would take you to a web page and be like, Why do you want to unsubscribe, blah, blah? You click a button, you click yes, submit? And it would say sorry to see you go right. Now what's happening is you go through that process. And then you get an email from the company that you just unsubscribe from
07:20
saying, like,
Brandon 07:21
we talked about this, what do you do been subscribed?
Collin Funkhouser 07:23
Sorry to see you go click this button. If it was an accident?
Brandon 07:30
Are you going to click through seven steps on accident? And I'm like, what is that?
07:34
I had to scroll,
Collin Funkhouser 07:36
like seven mouse wheel things. To get to the bottom, I had to discern your color background on the footer. And the unsubscribe text are just one hexagon, you know, hex code off from one another, like just by one button. And like, I had to discern what that was a to zoom in, select all so I can actually see what was there. And then click that button and then go through three more steps of entering confirming who I was selecting all the checkboxes that have I didn't even know it was signed up for from you in the first place. And then click Submit. What do you mean, if I did this by accident? Like, what? How this is terrible, and all the more reason for me to read you from my life because you never like, respected me in the first place. And I think this is a small front, which I shouldn't because it's ridiculous. But I still do. So.
08:27
Yeah. I
Brandon 08:28
don't really care too much about my, like, personal email address, because I just like whatever I just heard, I just deleted man, I
08:37
don't really care. Right?
Brandon 08:40
Google does a pretty good job of filtering for like, promotion emails and all that stuff. Right? So like, most of them just go to that like weird folder, and I don't ever really have to look at them. You know? Yeah, that's okay. But like, the one where it's the big problem is my school email, right? Because if you ever entered your email ever for a teacher thing ever, you get like 700,000 emails that are like, from companies like, like a curriculum companies or things about like lessons or whatever, and I'm just like, What is this? Go away? I don't want Oh, wow. Like, what on earth? Is this nonsense, like, get out of here? And there's like, so much noise and like, I don't where did this come from? Like, they like ah, it's maddening, right? It's like so much stuff. It's genuinely, genuinely terrible.
Collin Funkhouser 09:49
So I can't even imagine like the amount of stuff that you get pitched because you probably get pitched all sorts of like, you know, products or new things to sign up for a classroom meeting. admits yeah, whatever, whatever, right like new courses I'm
Brandon 10:03
sure so yeah, that's probably that's terrible. The worst one, the one that I want to go away the most of all is our new like grade bookie stuff student in for dinner where there was a called Student Information System, the little essays thing or whatever it is like, it sends me emails all the time telling me that my lunch balance is zero. Yes, I know. Because I haven't eaten lunch in the cafeteria in like, three years. So I don't know. But the new system just like, takes great pleasure in reminding me. They have $0 in my lunch count, which technically is actually false, because under the old system, there was like five emergency dollars in there. And now that $5 is gone. So, hey, school, what happened? Am I $5? Where give me that back? Right? What's up? Kept me a check for that. But that's weird. Yeah. They of course didn't roll over any monetary value. That's not necessary. But so I need to go talk about this. Like, can I can this stop? Because how do I make it stop sitting the stupid emails like every week, telling me that I have no dollars in my lunch account? Because I never buy lunch.
Collin Funkhouser 11:44
Right? Well, that mean? Yeah. I mean, I don't
Brandon 11:46
want to buy lunch. Stop it.
Collin Funkhouser 11:50
Well, yeah, and that means that yeah, that was that was that was stripped away, you know, and they just quietly let that disappear. Or maybe they're like, look, this guy hasn't used this ever. So we're just taking away entirely
12:01
so yeah. After
Brandon 12:04
him by Sunday. We tell you that his lunch balance is zero. I don't care. Yeah. Turns out. You're not? Oh, yeah, I have to pay more money than the students. And I only receive the same amount of food as students. If I buy the lunch, please. Oh, yeah. So this is definitely a non worthwhile proposition. Like, even though like it's still technically cheaper than like, if you were to go like, to a restaurant and like buy a food, right? It's not much cheaper than bringing it from your house. So this
Collin Funkhouser 12:54
really is a convenience fee, right.
Brandon 12:59
Yeah, because like the media true school lunches bad. Um, like, it's really not very exciting, right, like they try, you know, but when you don't have a good starting place, you can only really climb so high. Right, like, it's not. I blame I do not blame the cafeteria workers. This is not their doing. I know this.
13:26
Okay, no,
Brandon 13:27
I know this in my heart. So don't think I'm ragging on the cafeteria staff. It's not them. It's the tools they're given to work.
13:37
It's the system. Yes. It's
Collin Funkhouser 13:41
as always,
Brandon 13:42
yeah. It's really Springfield grocer. If you want to know. Shots fired. It is. We get a fruit drum. And there's like a deal. Right? Where like, if they if you let Springfield grocer, sort of like make the menu kinda right. And just sort of like, give you stuff. The price is lower. Probably because they're just like getting rid of things. I would imagine that's how this works, right? Yeah, this is a hypothesis not 100% Certain here, but that's what they get. So the control over the menu is limited, right? Hey, just like here, you go. Have things. And so because it's not because it's through like a third party. Like it's not like, you know, sometimes it used to be like commodities, right? Where they were just like, here's some cheese and some eggs. Right, like, figure it out, but like eggs. Yeah. And then like, go from there. And then Oh, it's just like, here's some frozen chicken strips. And here's some frozen this. And here's some frozen that right? So it's like, ah, yeah, it's really like, so there's not like a, an avenue to like design a whole lot of menus around the things right, you can do some stuff with it. Right?
15:21
Well, and that
Collin Funkhouser 15:22
that also, I mean, that also makes it more costly, right? Because you're you're getting a step up a little step up in the food chain, right of a of a conglomerate. conglomerated food, which means you can't use that in multiple dishes anymore. Yeah, yeah, right. It's not like counting cheese and go in a lot of different stuff.
Brandon 15:44
It's not like you're getting a potato. Yeah, right. Right. You're getting something you're getting like frozen potato wedges. You know what I mean? Because like, when I when we were in school, me and my friends used to joke that I'm pretty sure our school just got like a dump truck full of potatoes. Because like, one day would be like, baked potato. And then the next day would be like, steak fries. And then the next day would be like, mashed potato. Right? It was like, you could sort of map out like, Ha, I see what's happening. Right, there was a lot of potato action. But you know, it was just like, it was like that. So I don't uh, yeah, but when you're getting like, when you are getting only like a frozen bag of French fries. You're sort of stifled into how many different things you can make out of this. Right? Kind of only just like, french fries. Really? Right? That's really?
Collin Funkhouser 16:56
Yeah, no, it really,
Brandon 16:57
really does.
Collin Funkhouser 16:59
Yeah, you can't stretch that you can't change that. No,
Brandon 17:02
the mornings. Huh? Yeah. You can't like stretch it to be like, oh, we'll have like, you know, whatever sort of strange concoction they come up with, right? Like the, the, like weird, like, sometimes it's like a vegetable soup and potato. This is sort of like, like on together like a mashed potato type situation. But yeah, so yes. All that to say, I am not throwing any shade at any cafeteria workers that may or may not work in the same building as me, but I know. They're hampered in their ways. But also, I'm not paying for that food. So stop sending me emails,
17:57
weird students system.
Brandon 18:04
I don't think I can probably unsubscribe from that email.
Collin Funkhouser 18:06
Now that seems like the heart of my operating system. Yeah, I
Brandon 18:09
feel like, I feel like it might shout at me if I tried to do it.
Collin Funkhouser 18:13
Yeah. No, you were deep in the system.
Brandon 18:21
Okay, I don't know how mad it would be at me. I wonder. Only one way to fight. And I'm just kidding. Oh, my.
18:31
Goodness.
Brandon 18:37
Yes. So other than that, not really, too much happening this week. Right? It's sort of like starting the fourth quarter. Trying to figure out what's happening, I did manage to escape on Monday, from the many, many hours of reading instruction, learning this. Oh, so I was able to run away from that. Because once again, all of our professional development this year is about reading instruction. So they were talking about like the assessments that they give, there's like a program and there's like these like little assessments that you can give. And they're talking about, like reading the results of the assessments. And like understanding what that stuff was. And I was sitting over there with a math teacher going Oh, no. Oh, no. Like it was real bad. There was a saying lots of acronyms and I was like, I have no idea what you're talking about. I don't necessary right now. Ah, yeah, finally I was able to run away. So that was nice. I got to flee. I got to do stuff in the class was good and worked on my bookshelf. Right, again, sort of weeding out these books that are very old. Right? Check. Some of them are definitely school library books from 1986. Wow. I mean, I mean, so they're cool. Sure. But are they useful? And Will anybody ever read this in my classroom?
Collin Funkhouser 20:40
See, you're asking some hard.
Brandon 20:43
No, they will
20:47
show sort
Brandon 20:48
of culling some things and trying to do that, right, trying to get rid of some stuff. But I did some of that. And just worked on, like, less than he started off. Right. But it did. It did also. professionally develop myself. Right? Oh, went down this big long rabbit hole. Right. And I found this like, I don't even know what it were, I don't remember the website that this is attached to. Right. But it's kind of like it's like this online, like, book thing, right? Kind of, it's not really a book, but it's sort of set up like a book. It's sort of like, you know, how Khan Academy is set up? Yeah. Give us that, where it's like, it's got like the reading. It's got videos and stuff. It's kind of like that, but it's not Khan Academy. It's something else. Sure. Right. So it's that format. It's like a learn about a subject in a paste situation. But it's about Near Eastern Art History. So Oh, interesting. So it was actually kind of cool. I was just reading about since I teach a lot of Near Eastern cultures. And then there's a follow up part about like Egyptian and stuff sounds like we're just gonna
22:10
read through this. Everyone's
Brandon 22:12
time is saved on my fear. And I've just been reading and doing some like studying about. Yeah, Near Eastern Art, like Mesopotamian, Sumerian Akkadian, a Babylonian don't forget Neo Babylonian. No, no, no, no, no, I kind of like art history. And like art style, things that are indicative of each period, like stuff that's like, you know, like, important features of the art and like, all this kind of stuff. So took away some new insights for some of the answer. That's cool. That's what I did. Mostly, this week been doing some independent study of art, ancient cultures, art history. Here go, oh,
23:03
this fun is?
Brandon 23:05
Well, it's a bit of a nerdy things that I get up to and left my own devices. Right. Of course, these are the type of hybrid nerd shenanigans that we need to more effectively teach social studies, apparently. Yeah. Well, I mean, but it's not all bad. Right? Like, I know, it's not bad at all. But it is very nice and a bit nerdy. So worse, I mean. Right, but you know, it is at least useful. And these are things that we talked about in class, sort of, right, and, you know, being able to add a little bit more discourse to the conversation, because we do look at some of these things, right, like this delay of Hammurabi, right. That is a thing that we talk about when we talk about your boy and his code of laws and stuff like that. So having a bit more insight of like, what's actually going on in the relief section of this right. is cool, you know, yeah, that's handy. So that's fun. I really want what I really wish I had kind of see somebody in the school there somewhere. There is a 3d printer I think. And what I need to figure out is if I can get whoever has that to print me like 3d print me like a Sumerian cylinder seal ads what I want Oh, really? That would be cool. That's I wonder if that Hansel I wonder if that's possible. Cuz that'd be handy, right? But they're these really cool things where like, it's a you familiar with cylinder seals at all? No. Okay. So it's like a thing, right? And you would have this seal. And when you were like loyal people and like important people had it. And it's a seal that they were used to like, as a signature for their important documents. Right. But it's, it's a big barrel bead thing, right? So they actually wear it. And it would be like metal, some of them are like silvery gray isn't like that. But in relief on the cylinder is like pictures, sometimes they have inscriptions and writing on them. And so to sign the document on the clay tablet, you literally just put it down and roll it across. And it like puts in relief. This series of symbols that's like, code for you did it? Right. So if you're like, do your position or whatever indicates like what things can be on there, right and stuff like that. But there's usually like some, you know, some of them have like mythological creatures, and like some of them are like, a god ray. So if you're associated with like a temple of a certain God, right, it would be on there. And there's like a little bit of writing on there. And you just you put it you literally put it down, and you roll it and it like because it's cut in relief on the thing. It like shows up on the clay. And that is your signature
26:19
which is mega rad, right? Like
26:22
I do they make the honor and relief deals.
Collin Funkhouser 26:25
I want one inch I know Yeah, I gotta
Brandon 26:29
leave, because they would write because all their stuff was done on clay tablets. You just put it on there. Just roll it across. They're really cool. Okay,
26:41
let's do okay. Yeah,
Brandon 26:44
it's a feature of early like a Sumerian and Akkadian like cultural things. And they were like, really, so that they would like, and they're, so it's like a barrel, right. And then there's a hole to the middle of it. So they would wear it as jewelry. Like you could put it on a necklace, like a lanyard or as a bracelet. And then we needed to sign stuff. You just take it off and just roll it across to those. Yes. So
Collin Funkhouser 27:10
interesting about how that is, is an early form of the of the Signet rings. Right. And that kind of stuff to like that.
Brandon 27:19
Yeah. So really old. Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy. They're really cool. Yeah, I think that yeah, they're really neat. really like them. But, you know, can't just like, get a hold of a real one. So I think it'd be cool. If that was like 3d printable, if some museum or something just had them, because I know that they have like scans of like tablets. And you can like actually 3d print, like actual cuneiform tablets, because they just give, they just have the things available. Yeah, I wonder if there was a cylinder seal one out there somewhere, you can just sit download? Well, I'm thinking,
Collin Funkhouser 28:07
I'm even thinking, you know, if you did want to that you could, you could actually figure out like, how you could make one, like without the grave like, of video, basically, I'm thinking of everybody bring a toilet paper roll. And then you could like, Oh, that's true. Good. But then like, you could have them but you'd have to carve in something and have to like, wrap it out. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I was even thinking of having another sheet of paper or even like a thin piece of clay that you carve and mold into and then you wrap that around the cylinder rule. Or something like that. I don't know what the best part like a dowel rod around. Yeah, with a pebble. It'd be a bit more.
Brandon 28:47
Yeah, it's sturdier? Yeah. I don't know how that would work. But yeah, cuz the seal is like, so it's, it starts smooth and you cut into it. So when you roll it across, it's like a raised thing on the clay. Right. So it would be hard to do with the toilet paper roll. Because there wouldn't be enough like surface because it's so it's hollow. Right. But you will get like the general idea. Right? You're like, yeah, I guess he's like, decorate the outside. That'd be like, more Sharpie or whatever. Yeah, exactly. Then, like it's the general idea, even if it's not sincerely functional, right? Yeah.
Collin Funkhouser 29:34
You don't need to actually go around and like say, Okay, now use you stamp that sheet of paper and you stamp that thing and yeah, while you know that
Brandon 29:40
would be cool, you know? Because I do have clay because we do write in uniform. Yeah, a little bit. Well, and it really they really don't like that they really mostly just because it's like so hard.
Collin Funkhouser 29:58
It's it's there's little There's literally no muscle memory for that as much. Oh, yeah, exactly.
Brandon 30:03
And it's so like, it's really interesting because they are so like, because when you say, right, you know, you want to like, move something across the surface of something else, because that's how we write. Yeah. And so when you write uniform, you literally just take the stylus and poke it into the clay. That's it. And they want to like, move it and like, draw the wedge. And I'm like, I don't know how to look. Look, look. If you just poke it, it makes the wedge shape. And they're like, I don't understand what you mean. Like, it's such a strange concept, right? They're just like, I don't get it. Like, yeah, poke it. Just Just try it. Why? Trust me, that's doing Don't worry. It's all of them eventually, like, figure it out. But it's very, it's like a mind trip. Or like, what? I don't understand. Yeah, but
Collin Funkhouser 31:12
but really, like you said, until you are in the you're until you're using the right medium to use it, then there to the right that way, then like until you do that, though the motions nothing makes sense until you like yeah, this is a remember. Like, that's, that's, that's not actually.
Brandon 31:33
Yeah, because otherwise it mean, you can, like actually draw all the shapes. But that's like, you know, that takes forever. It's just really weird. Yeah, like that. The medium is so important. You actually have to like, poke it. Poke it in there. Just a little corner, right? Done. Okay, now, this popsicle stick is not necessarily a precision engineered writing instrument. But by why it does kind of work, though. So
Collin Funkhouser 32:12
stop complaining next.
Brandon 32:20
So yeah, that's what I'm doing. And then today, big lesson of the day, right? Yeah. Again, I said, I've been interspersing more just like storytime. Right. Where we talk about, like, mythology of that particular culture. Right. Yeah. So today, we tackled the big one. Right. We've started Greek stuff. So we tackled the big one. You know, I mean, technically, kind of one of the most culturally important stories that's ever been written down. The Iliad. Right, tackle that one today. Yeah, that's Gotcha. Not maybe is, you know, full of intrigue as some of the other ones but like, there's a lot of stabbing. So there's that. But like, sure.
Collin Funkhouser 33:21
From poking the clay to stabbing, yep.
Brandon 33:24
Stabby stabby. Right. So yeah, we talked about that one today. That's very interesting. One, because they're like, I told him, I was like, you know, it's weird to think about this story, probably over at least 2500 years old. Probably more. Right. You know, the end? Yeah. Maybe you don't know the beginning bits and love the weird middle stuff. And I gave them the hyper abridged version because again, 15,000 lines of poetry. I'm the one gonna give them the summary. Right? CliffsNotes version. Right, but but, uh, that's, you know, the end of that. Right? Like, what? That's, that's wild. Like, that's such a culturally relevant thing. Or like Western culture, that you know, the end still shows up in like movies, like all my kids have seen Peabody, Mr. Sherman. And it's in there, right. They know. Right? They've seen it in others other movies have like jokingly referenced it or books or DVDs or whatever. Like, you know about the end of this.
34:45
Crazy. Yeah, yeah. Just
Collin Funkhouser 34:47
how that it continues to impact that's a great way like you're doing they're going, this is how impactful this is and how fundamental this has become. As part of that. Our culture, and then it's wild to think about, like, the time before the Iliad, right of like,
35:09
like, just that sequence that setup that kind of predictability
Collin Funkhouser 35:13
that we see continuing to this day because it's, it's, you know, it's a tropes are out there for a reason. You see them over and over and over and over again and just knowing like, there was a time when that's not how that's not how things progressed in store. That's not you know, it's
Brandon 35:29
a long time ago. But still, yeah, yeah, it's crazy. It's really interesting to watch them, like, react to this, you know, like, see them in real time be like, Wow, but it's also a good opportunity to talk about, like, kind of introduce some Greek gods, because they're all about the story, right? I tell them like, they're in this a lot, that I don't mention everything because it's a lot but like, how, how different it is from some other ancient cultures because like, like, again, if we go back to your friends in Samaria, like their gods are very, like, hands off very, like, go away, leave me alone, no, bother me. Whereas the Greek gods are very, like mettlesome. Right? They're very, very concerned. Very, like active participant in daily life. So it's a good point to talk about that kind of introduced that idea of like these gods a lot more nosy. Right, they're a lot more open. Everybody's busy.
Collin Funkhouser 36:30
They're around
Brandon 36:32
a lot. Especially zoos. Anyway, we got a lot we've talked about that. And then we mentioned like, he's talking about how like culture important is is like in told them to like in language arts class, you have these things called illusions. Right? You may have heard of this, where a writer will just sort of like, casually refer to something else expecting you to know what they're talking about. Uh, huh. Like in a lot of writing. That's this story. They're talking about this. Like
37:08
yeah, your expect you.
Brandon 37:09
Yeah, you have to know in order to understand a lot of like, everything like you need to know this. Right? You or at least you need to know the end. Nobody cares about the middle, right? No one cares. Maybe like, oh, my gosh, hectored Ajax fought to a draw and they've made a habit bromance going on and it'll benefit the end and and that's boilers, the end Oilers boilers, or the Iliad, sorry. Hector and Ajax fought so hard against each other and to draw that they got each other presents and appreciation. Hey, go to WWE weird side note that story, but you know why the other big illusion is like just Helen herself. Right? Like, we think about that, like, because she's described as being like, the most beautiful person ever. And so like, just like, in writing, like a shorthand for a beautiful person is like Helen of Troy. Right? You just like,
38:09
did you just know what that means? When somebody says that right?
Brandon 38:14
Do you like watching their face when I say that? Paris? I immediately fell in love with Helen. So did what any normal Greek would do. I kidnapped her and took her back to his castle. Any like questions? Oh, no. Oh, no. I, I see where this is going immediately. And,
Collin Funkhouser 38:32
and I don't like it. Importantly, here. Not a fan. Yeah.
Brandon 38:37
right to say no. Say no. So yeah, it was good.
Collin Funkhouser 38:49
Yeah, yeah, that's, and that's a that I have read it. But it's been many, many, many moons. And probably something I need to go back.
Brandon 39:00
And yeah, that's a hard one to be like, I'm gonna read that. I reread the, like, summaries frequently. Because I talked about just like chirping. The spots are gonna have a little PowerPoint. It's just like pictures of important things, right. Yeah, I haven't read. Read. I
39:18
was. I was thinking, oh, we
Brandon 39:20
need to be starting to think about our summer reading list. But I'd vote no. On the Iliad. Right. I feel like maybe it's too
Collin Funkhouser 39:24
loud. Wow. Okay. Number one, this will put on the short list if you want but like I understand, I know there's nothing short about the Iliad. I know exactly. What goes on. But no, I was actually driving swerving and avoiding potholes this week of driving.
39:43
And I was
Brandon 39:45
wondering whether it does increase the number of potholes.
Collin Funkhouser 39:47
It doesn't need, doesn't need statistically it's just a fact. In fact, no, I was driving and I was thinking about the
Brandon 39:57
people of old and just how much More
Collin Funkhouser 40:00
well read certain sub sets of them were and like, how I was listening to the biography of some I forget who it was, and this is really bad just shows you how much my brain has moved on from this of like, yeah, he graduated from school here in the United States. And you know, this was back in the 20 years ago, whatever it was like, yeah, he graduated 100 years ago when he graduated from school, and he toured Europe. And that was a rite of passage for people from that certain sect. And like, they just toured Europe and read and learned and read and learn and read and like, just how much more reading there was, and like, wide, broad leading reading of all sorts of literature and like, kind of coming back to what you're talking about there. Like how so many things like yeah, when they're when they're kind of pointing to or feigning towards this illusions and shadows, like, they're all these references that like, you just kind of miss out on right. If you don't have that, and not that it's yeah, like, it just,
40:59
it made me like, really sad. It's
Collin Funkhouser 41:02
like, yeah, I don't, I don't read nearly broad enough at all, like, everything that you do is very narrow, or focused or short and like, and to not have because there really was a curriculum of reading of like, okay, first, for certain, you know, again, like, first you're going to read this book, then you're going to read this book, and like, there was a pathway of reading, too, so that by the time that you've read, you know, that your 100th book, that it makes sense, and you get it because you've read everything that came before it.
Brandon 41:32
I mean, that's true. But also, sometimes that can become a bit unwieldy, right. I'm thinking famously, of Ulysses, right, your boy, James Joyce, where, if you want to actually understand that look, at all, you have to have read like 30 other books, right? Yeah. Like?
Collin Funkhouser 41:57
And so no, I'm not saying this is, oops, all illusions. But yes, you're right, there comes a point where it's like, okay, I, it's not Yeah, you can't read 30 books for each for every one book, you're like, that's what I want to read the, here's 30 books worth of homework to get to that. Of course, he didn't do that. But just like,
42:25
how that sequencing of,
Collin Funkhouser 42:28
of books and understanding of like how things work is even, you know, reading to the kids and like, we finished up the book, raggedy tam today, and it was like, Oh, here's an epilogue. And I understood what was happening immediately what it was like, it was 15 years, it was 15 seasons since Gula. The Savage had been killed by my father. That was the opening, right? And I turned to the kids, and I was like,
Brandon 42:51
who was writing this letter?
42:55
Right? Because that's the
Collin Funkhouser 42:56
kind of metaphor for that kind of writing technique, shift style and shift like, you got like, that's, that's a something that you kind of see, oh, this is a this is a point of view change. Right. This isn't just future casting. Like there's something very subtly happening here. And that's take takes be dissecting that and knowing it seeing little fades and shades to that prior to be able to read that one sentence and go, Oh, right. Okay, this is it. Future Tense written by offspring of raggedy Tam, this world right? Okay.
Brandon 43:28
I understood. What that is. Yeah. Is it abrupt? Right? Go from one page to the next. It's like, Yes, I'm sure. Yeah, doesn't make it hard. Right. And again, that's kind of what you know. high school English is partly for, right? Because you're when you're like, why don't we go to read? Hamlet, like, because literally, everything is a hamlet reference. Like, I don't really know how to explain this. Like, things reference, Shakespeare, things reference, Greek mythology. Things reference the Bible. Right, like, things referenced, you know, that like, that kind of stuff, like, in the cell, like you just there's a Yeah, you do need some sort of base to kind of like understand things. All right. Very interesting. connection here, right. A slightly strange one is again, I work with very interesting children. Right. But a lot of them are anime enthusiast. Right? We tried on this show. We didn't really stick but fine. But there is something that some of my kids watch. Right? They like the Joe Joe's Bizarre Adventure, right? Yes. So you think right. So this particular enemy is apparently just completely full of allusions to like, all kinds of things. Right, like literature and stuff and like science and everything, because like when sometimes we're talking to science, and one of my kids would be like, is that a Georgia reference? Like, I think it means that the writers paid attention in science class, I think, yeah, it would be like,
45:38
right, like I don't that's a it's
Collin Funkhouser 45:40
a weird way to place this. I think Georgia is referent is true, but I
Brandon 45:44
think yeah, I think we're going the other way around. I think I think Plato is not a JoJo reference. I think they're referencing Plato. I think that's, but like,
Collin Funkhouser 45:52
I could be, I could be wrong here. But also, I think timeline has my back on.
Brandon 46:00
Like, I feel like I know judges, like some of its, you know, from the 80s. But Plato is older. Shakespeare is old, isn't it? Right? Like I
Collin Funkhouser 46:17
just maybe doesn't call Natalie
Brandon 46:18
here. But there's like, things like that. So like, even like very modern media, there's another one that they watch.
46:25
I don't remember. They talk very
Brandon 46:27
fast to me sometimes. And I'm not entirely sure what words you're saying. But it also references things like HHO, right, like Edgar Allan Poe, and like stuff like that. So there Yeah, even there's like a, it's still a culture of like, even in like a modern, something that you started like a very modern media, right like this. It's still doing that thing where they're alluding to, like lots of classic drawing from like, broad ranges, like not just the Eastern cultures, but like more Western and European things to kind of like mixing it all together in an even bigger amalgamation. So there's even more that you have to know what's going on, right? Like, it's very interesting. It's very interesting. That is, they're exposed to things like that through that lens. Right? Same idea, just like a slightly different format. Still, same kind of idea, which I think is very interesting. Or at least gonna cool. Yeah, it sounds like we're actually picking up on
Collin Funkhouser 47:30
it. That's the other part that's right. Well, that's that's thing of like, Oh, they're there they are seeing these things and right so they're still still learning so they go to Joe's Bizarre Adventure is all you need. I don't think he needed history classes,
Brandon 47:43
but I just learned Yeah, sure. I don't know if that's true or not. But um, so pay to your history class, right. Still learn about Greek mythology. It's important apparently, to understand the world around you understand why being a Prometheus isn't a great thing. Like could be
48:08
a additionally. No, no.
Brandon 48:15
Huh. Why Sisyphean task is negative. It's important
48:26
ah, gosh, well, that's
Collin Funkhouser 48:28
good. I'm glad that they're getting references and they're being being enculturated from many different different aspects
Brandon 48:35
to get it is interesting.
48:39
How that reinforcement Yes.
Brandon 48:45
Oh, cool. Well,
Collin Funkhouser 48:46
yeah, I haven't had nearly as exciting life and times is that
Brandon 48:54
we I went and to a
Collin Funkhouser 49:00
another my first biz blitz of year, so yeah, okay, so this is
Brandon 49:10
the first thing you said all right. Again, strange references that my brain makes. When you said is Blitz the first thing I thought about was blitz ball from Final Fantasy 10. Ruby is that is that a weird like, futuristic version of waterpolo? Because that's not what you did.
Collin Funkhouser 49:39
Not quite okay not quite. Know this is where you go to a location and it's like speed dating for businesses where everybody sets out big tables use it for to a table and actually have a note in this are my main my big lesson from this.
49:57
Is this why you logged into your LinkedIn,
Brandon 50:00
is that why you went to the
50:03
done? Ah, I
Collin Funkhouser 50:09
went and you sit for to a table, they have them labeled A, B, C and D. And like a, everyone always scrambles for the a position because that person stays at that table, you don't rotate. B like goes forward one position, C goes backward one position, and D moves forward. Two positions, two tables.
Brandon 50:33
I see why you need notes for this.
Collin Funkhouser 50:35
That's Rygel. Guys a lot. It's always very confusing. Nobody can remember where the last table is like, where's the because they put out like an indeterminate number of tables and they fill up or sometimes they don't. So it's like, is 12 tables to see like, oh, no, yeah. So yeah, it's like, why isn't C and hargus? And people, it's also because they don't know, in the ideal context, they would have this just in a big circle bite. So the highest numbered table, just the one after that, if you're moving sequentially higher, yes. After you reach that last table, it just goes to table one, but instead, it's a big square root. And so like, you've got to zigzag your way and find where one is, and all this stuff. Oh, no, but do they at least put like little numbers on the table? Yes, the tables are okay. Okay. Yeah. And, and the seats are labeled with the letter that you're going to be at every table, it reminds you what you're supposed to do. So that's good.
51:28
Like, yeah, I'm imagining like,
Collin Funkhouser 51:30
painters tape, just like on the floor everywhere. Just follow the colored arrows of like, here's, here's what your standpoint, here's your mark, right. And
Brandon 51:39
next stage, right, like ducked down here should
Collin Funkhouser 51:41
avoid that, avoid that, you know, think backdrops, but you go there. And then like, every table at each, each tiny move each letter, each person sitting there has two minutes to talk about their business and like, why they're there. And, you know, it's a, it's very interesting to go in here to hear people's pitch, people like to be in seat A, because A, you don't move
52:04
a head and B, you get to talk first. It's
Collin Funkhouser 52:12
love being the first to talk. And basically you sit down and to save time, everybody just immediately starts passing out the business cards. I don't I don't use your car. I am me. And so I get to with a very smug grin on my face go or you don't have business cards, but you can scan my phone. Because I have a digital card that I had. Yeah, that
Brandon 52:35
time, bro. Yeah.
52:39
So that's fine. Because
Collin Funkhouser 52:41
you know, and I, so I take everybody's card and blah, blah. And then you get to listen to the people and what they do. And you can definitely tell the people that come there and they're like, here is I have one version of my two minute pitch for us. Like I can't I won't say anything different. And you can hear them as they go from table to table. Like they're not changing it. This isn't the only thing that they say. They're just here to say that regurgitate the same thing every time. Those people usually sit in seat A, of course. Because they're just like, they're the machine gun operators. I'm just I'm just going to spray and pray here. People just like ba get it all out there. I just that's my job done. Then you have the people who are like, Why don't we have a pitch but here's my card. Let me know talk to me.
Brandon 53:29
You know you even do i don't know i Okay, those are the people that are like, information, informational designs ready?
Collin Funkhouser 53:39
Like okay, what this is these are not, not sponsored. But here's some of the names. E costs. Epic strategies, is it? Is it horse related? No, no, no, no,
53:53
no. I'll see you suddenly. BiC because he pronounces e Closs. It is EQ U U S.
Brandon 54:02
First of all, no, as I pronounced that second of all, any if you say if you have that, that sounds like the root word equine to me. It makes me think that you are a farrier, perhaps, like I don't know. I know.
54:18
I know. I know.
Collin Funkhouser 54:20
I'm so confused. I'm so confused. You know. So. So yeah. Because my other the other one of just like, what do you do? It is because like this guy. This was a very he was a very nice man. But he works at Epic strategies. And he's, you know, and he's in business development. Course. What?
54:37
What are you you don't do anything?
Collin Funkhouser 54:41
No. So it gets worse because then some guy said, oh, and I work for TPC and I'm an HE a manager.
Brandon 54:47
What?
Collin Funkhouser 54:53
Austin, I will need you to literally break all of that down and you're like, No, that's fine. I understand. I just, I'm with TPC and I'm an H Even manager like, Keith Anyway, moving on. You didn't
Brandon 55:03
help me. So I'm just gonna imagine what TPC stands for re. Is it a toilet paper? Comfort? Are you in r&d for toilet paper? Is that what you do? Right? If you don't give me actual words, I'm just gonna make up in my brain. My headcanon for your job, I'm just
Collin Funkhouser 55:28
gonna move forward at this right? Like, I just, there's nothing I can, I can't I can't do anything with that. The other the other the, I'm just giving away three here. These are my, this is my top three. These are the worst three that I got. They were called the bottom three. Bottom three. And
55:46
it's just it's just a basis for IT solutions. ACS. Asus,
Brandon 55:53
any like I have IT solutions. Yep. Nice. Okay, the Moreover, the
Collin Funkhouser 56:03
name sounds the more you're like I am the more they're like, again. Epic epic solution epic strategies. I'm like, you don't do anything to you.
Brandon 56:14
Pointless is this ribelle? A front like is? No,
Collin Funkhouser 56:19
I'm like, how much lotta money laundering do you guys do? Like now?
56:23
Right? Like,
56:24
the winner. The winner of business
Collin Funkhouser 56:28
names besides ours? Obviously that's fine. besides ours was the company
Brandon 56:34
of Bacchus accounting. Bacchus start
Collin Funkhouser 56:38
abacus or abacus
Brandon 56:39
Okay. advocators I was like if like Bacchus like running out of the wine. Recently.
Collin Funkhouser 56:46
am tired be the guy cross kept saying that Abaqus kept saying Abaqus but it was like its abacus accounting.
56:55
I was like, Okay, I see what you did there. I do I have that. Like you don't
Brandon 56:59
know how to pronounce your own name of your firm. embarrassing because again, Bacchus, Roman got a drink. Just saying Oh, again. So allusions are important here. I think we need to know on the Roman mythology. We know where his head's at. Right?
Collin Funkhouser 57:23
You know what, he could probably go either way. Depending on how his day is going,
57:28
No, but I,
Collin Funkhouser 57:29
I have decided that the best seat
57:32
that you need to sit in his seat, D. A, because
Collin Funkhouser 57:36
you have to ask better sorry, one because
Brandon 57:42
like algebra one here, I know you're in dust.
57:46
I know,
Collin Funkhouser 57:52
one of the reasons is because you, you do have you get to move more, which means you actually get to hit more of a wider variety of tables that are further from each other. So not everybody is going to be you're not gonna be close to everybody where they're going to hear your pitch from across the, you know, right and so you're not sitting right next to them. I like this. I like more of the movement.
58:10
Secondly, you go last in the talking, which I build like, because
Collin Funkhouser 58:17
when he starts talking, they're talking to a cold table. A true he knows anybody. Nobody knows what anybody does, or anything about them. Because you get somebody's card and it says epic strategies. And you're like, what do you do? I'm like, This is not helpful. My No,
Brandon 58:33
I T solution, or Asus
Collin Funkhouser 58:36
AC? Is it solutions? Okay, great. Thanks.
Brandon 58:41
It's like a shoe company. Well, ASICs, it sounds like ASICs isn't.
Collin Funkhouser 58:46
So by the time you get to D, everybody's, they warmed up a little bit, they're more like hockey more jovial, more familiar. And, you know, exactly like what everybody does. And can change your talking points to meet or connect with them on different levels. So you could just kind of sit there and like collect data and so and listen, and then talk right it's so it's an it's an it's an exercise in self control me because I have a time not over talking with people or speaking or completing their sentences, because, but you also get to go Oh, wow, like, I really can bleed into what that person just said. Right? Like, or
Brandon 59:31
if they're really ridiculous. You can be like, oh, yeah, and it looks so calling. What do you do? Like I'm actually
59:36
a quadrupedal ambulatory
Collin Funkhouser 59:39
special ambulatory specialist specialist, right.
Brandon 59:43
But what's that mean? Oh, dogs, but anyway, laying.
Collin Funkhouser 59:49
There were several times there were several tables where I'm listening to what people are saying, and basically just like this switch of like, okay, like, I don't have any real partnership ability with anybody here at the table, like there's no overlap in what we do or how we do things. Now, I'm just pitching my services to these people, right? Oh, yeah, direct sales, versus whatever I was at a table. And it was like property manager, property manager, property manager. And hello. Let me talk to you about how I can help your people be happier living happy longer, I
Brandon 1:00:27
can help people on your property that you manage, right, and
Collin Funkhouser 1:00:31
decrease damage and drew by decreased damage and, and decrease noise complaints. Because the dog is getting out walking, you don't have to worry about it barking all day. Oh, nice.
1:00:47
Nice, right. So this is, this is why
Collin Funkhouser 1:00:50
you sit in C, D, always and
Brandon 1:00:53
yet no additional mess because we have zip bag, right? Like, God
Collin Funkhouser 1:00:58
will take care of everything for you. So it's, uh, that was, it was interesting. And so I'm trying to be better this is I went to three last year, and I only followed ended up like really following up with one person, one guy who does short term rentals in the area. And so I was talking to him about being more pet friendly. And he did say, Hey, here's my card. I never checked my email. I'm really active on LinkedIn. And I was like, oh.
Brandon 1:01:32
Colin said, I don't remember my LinkedIn password.
Collin Funkhouser 1:01:35
I don't even know where it says I'm in work right now. I
1:01:44
didn't even say. So I had
Collin Funkhouser 1:01:45
to. I had to go back. I had to go in and like, furiously add a bunch of stuff and like, add some things. And this is this. This is how lazy I am in LinkedIn. It says it gives you that once it gives you that elevator pitch about you, right, that little summary.
1:02:01
I just, I just left all of it.
Collin Funkhouser 1:02:05
With was sat conservation, talking about, you know, my degree and my focus and statistical analysis of law. I didn't want to rewrite what I do, because I don't know what I do anymore. I just at the end of that in parentheses, I put I do none of this now.
Brandon 1:02:24
Nice update coming to IT solutions guy and then I'll get back to you. Bro, my legs actually what I do. Oh,
Collin Funkhouser 1:02:37
so I kind of like spruce it up this a little bit, added some things and then sent him the tip of Bethany Bradley. Oh, no. But
Brandon 1:02:45
I was see, I think we should just make it a list of all of the things that you do. Right. Including, up to and including, right? The pet specialists, right. Podcast ghost educator. Oh, oh, it don't forget that. Right. Just and we know it?
Collin Funkhouser 1:03:21
Yeah, shining star. Yeah. But yeah, so that's why I was on LinkedIn. I was trying to follow up with people. And at first I was like, What am I gonna say to this person is like, I don't really have an ask or here. But I do. There were some people who were like, You know what,
1:03:42
I decided I want to just go in and talk
Collin Funkhouser 1:03:45
to people if there's a genuine like, way I can connect or whatever. And they're, they're getting the property managers. I was like, I am going to be calling you. But then there are other people where it's like, you know, you're doing something really cool. And like, I'm just gonna email you and say like, Hey, it was great because it getting connected learning about your interior design business. I love the breakfast nook, keep up the awesome work, right like that. That's what all my emails worth this evening of like, like, it's like you're doing cool stuff or there was a there was a new a chiropractor there. She had just graduated in December. And she had just gotten hired on at a practice and was like brand new into chiropractic care and was like nervous and unsure and stuff and I was like look like so I wrote her a story of like, how, like, obviously have never used her chiropractor, but just like how chiropractic care has helped us and like how we think it's really cool and like glad that she's doing that. I'm glad there's more people like her in the area. And kudos to you like, I was like, I don't, I don't really want to be. I just want to encourage people this this today and I think that's probably just because I felt really like this past week because of whatever's going on. And like things happening. You think I'll just, I'll just tell people to do a cool job and doing cool stuff. And that'll be that'd be my role. That'd be I'll be encourager today and say, good job, keep doing it. And best of luck, right or like, no, because there was a guy that was talking. He's a decent construction, he just remodels. And I was like,
1:05:19
How's the market? And he was like, the worst. It's
Collin Funkhouser 1:05:24
been in 10 years. And I was like,
1:05:25
Oh, what's that? He
Collin Funkhouser 1:05:28
was like, yeah, there was an initial bump up of expansion of new homes. But now that's contracting. And then what happens when that contract when new home construction contracts, then there's a big bump and remodels. Right? Because people
1:05:41
can't moving like, Yeah, but then
Collin Funkhouser 1:05:45
that continues to drop if there's a continuous light. And so that's what they're seeing. He was like, Yeah, we do new homes and remodels. And so both sides of his business are being like,
Brandon 1:05:55
cut out. And I
Collin Funkhouser 1:05:59
went on to his website, and they were highlighting aspects that they're really proud of. And one of them is staircases. Like apparently they like love designing staircases. So it was like staircases, cabinets, something else something else. And I was like, Hey, I was on your website. For I was like hey, great getting good connected with you interesting to hear about the state of the housing industry. I went to your website, you guys do some amazing staircases, love all that work that you do, you know, keep going cheers. It's I just thought in the context of business world and business people, you know, I have, I have a stack of cards two inches thick. And I don't know how many of them, ah, you know, how many people these days, you know, you and I've talked about this on this podcast that like who comes alongside you and tells you like, great work, like you're doing cool stuff or whatever. Like, it happens kind of when you're in school. And then maybe if you've got a neat boss or manager like that comes around you, but then that just slowly disappears more and more from your life and talking to other business owners or people in banking or whatever, or, you know, engineering or sales or whatever a business development person does, or a tow truck operator. It's like, you know, I, I can't do a whole lot. But I figured I would spend my time writing some weird emails to people telling them that your passion for excellence is excellent, great. I had intentions to sit down and make like an email. It was like, during our conversation of your of your revamp of your upcoming property, I heard you mentioned that you were looking for insights into how to make it more pet friendly. And I'd love an opportunity to come by and share with you some of you know what we've learned that makes a great pet friendly, you know, patio and blah, blah, blah, blah, gosh, that's row. So
1:08:06
I'm just gonna say Congratulations
Collin Funkhouser 1:08:07
on your promotion to property manager. You know, I know you've only been in a couple of months. But you know, sounds like you're off to the great start. So, cheers. I just think I don't know, like, I don't know what I'm doing. But I just started to write that first email. And I felt really gross in linking back to my experience with the email saying, Hey, I noticed this is an email from the company, you just unsubscribe from emails about emails, and I wanted to let you know that we received that. So we sent you an email to confirm that but if it was an accident, click the button in the email. It was like, marketers ruin everything. And
Brandon 1:08:41
that was it solutions guy you know?
Collin Funkhouser 1:08:45
Personally, he'd send him one.
Brandon 1:08:49
Sound like informational technology to me. So maybe that's an IT guy. Dave
1:08:54
earthquake Solutions Specialist. Okay.
Collin Funkhouser 1:09:02
Dale, name's Dale.
Brandon 1:09:10
So,
Collin Funkhouser 1:09:12
always sit in C D. So you can listen to other people. And Senato you're doing cool stuff emails. That was my that was my that was my lesson over the past few days. So
Brandon 1:09:25
very nice. Yes. Yeah. Okay. So go ahead. says good lessons. Right. general encouragement. It's very nice, right? That's very good. I tried
Collin Funkhouser 1:09:36
it. This was held in. I'll send you a link to this place. I may have talked about it before, but it's in this new like luxury living complex. Where they don't call they're the renters, we'll call them renters, they call them tenants. They don't call them tenants. They don't call them clients. They call them members. He wanted to design it as a cruise ship on land one where one where they it is designed and currently being implemented such that their members never have to leave or anything at all. The gym is on site. The movie theater is on site. The instructors and yoga classes and baristas at the down at the 24 hour coffee bar downstairs are on site the hair nail and salon is on site. The when you live there, you get your three meals a day cooked by a chef every day. And it's all for one price. The wildest part about this this is probably not going to seem too wild. But every every room in the thing has 14 foot tall ceilings. Everything is 14 foot tall so everywhere except in the main atrium that's like 20 foot tall ceilings we have more than that today. That's but that
Brandon 1:11:06
is kind of weird, right? It's a really weird it's a really high ceilings is everywhere. Huge.
Collin Funkhouser 1:11:10
I says in every apart every apartment like is massive. They have floor to ceiling, glass, windows and everything. But this is the this is the most this is should tell you a lot about this picture. There in the hallway. So you go you're walking in the hallways and there are these huge hallways, every every so often. You notice this little like little door right next to the floor and it's like three feet high. Two feet wide.
1:11:43
It's got a lock on it. And you're like what is it
Collin Funkhouser 1:11:47
it's like on each side of the your walk each side of the hallway as you're walking down. You go into the apartment because I did a tour whenever it because I want to walk these people's dogs. Yeah. So they gave me a tour and you walk into the apartment. And most of them you will all then you come in in the apartment, the kitchen is immediately on your right and it's this little like kind of this gorgeous galley kitchen with marble countertops and everything. And she pulled out the trash door
Brandon 1:12:21
and said, your trash that's in here. And when you close it
Collin Funkhouser 1:12:28
they have access to the trash from the outside so that you don't even have to touch your trash bag. They just come twice a week and take it out of your trash bin directly and replace it with a fresh bag. And they just disappear because they're in the hallway. So they're walking in the hallway, they unlock that little cabinet they open it up when they open it when they unlock it and the hallway it locks it from the inside so they can't just like squeeze their way in and go raise your apartment. And then they can tip the trash bucket towards them pull out the bag, put it in their trash bin, refresh the bag and then push it back into your apartment and you open it up the next day and your trash has just vanished
Brandon 1:13:20
I like what yeah, this is again this is some like weird cyberpunk reality nonsense right like where they missed the meme of like it's weird when this happens and I know it's cool like I am getting like dystopian vibes right like very like Stepford Wives meets like Wally me
Collin Funkhouser 1:13:55
back and, and so they their their membership what's what's her name? She's the membership director because not not sales director and not office manager or not property manager.
Brandon 1:14:11
They had not property manager, membership director, membership members
Collin Funkhouser 1:14:16
of she their clientele that
Brandon 1:14:19
that I believe their Cleon bill I believe they pronounce it like obnoxious 80s movie salesman. I believe that's what happens. The guy that tries to negotiate with Hans Gruber they talk like that guy.
Collin Funkhouser 1:14:37
Yes. The autoplaying baby grand piano in the atrium when you walk in and the marble flooring or God tinkling away talk to the membership director and she's working with people who are are downsizing from you know 7000 square foot homes for 14,000 square foot homes
Brandon 1:15:01
to come live here. And I was like I say what? What
Collin Funkhouser 1:15:08
are you finding these people are doing and she said it's the craziest thing they pay for this all inclusive resort lifestyle. And then they're never here
Brandon 1:15:19
they this rare Yeah. They're
Collin Funkhouser 1:15:22
just not they travel everywhere because they can't they don't have to worry about getting food or at spoiling or anything like that. They don't have to worry about anything. All the all the TV is paid for all the utilities are included. Like it's this
Brandon 1:15:39
weird. And
Collin Funkhouser 1:15:41
a two bedroom apartment now here, okay, now, I'm going to tell you this price, I don't want to know this, you
Brandon 1:15:47
told him to die.
Collin Funkhouser 1:15:50
But I talked with her about this, like, cuz again, I'm, I'm also trying to learn from them as well, because we sell it we don't sell this level of premium service, but like a premium service. And so I asked her I said, so what does it cost to live here and she goes, you know, that is obviously the biggest stumbling block that we have to come over. But what we have to recognize is that I'm not selling them a square foot apartment. Didn't even talk about square footage anywhere. Because that's not that's not the important. You know, you go to any other apartment complex and that there though, there's a two bedroom, you know, you know, 700 square foot apartment. It's like, it's all about size and room size and room sizes. Yeah, they are obviously all about, like, lifestyle and amenities and access. Right. And so what if you want a two bedroom apartment?
1:16:41
I don't know. Whatever it's called. It's $5,500 a month
Brandon 1:16:50
Yeah. Two bedroom Manhattan with just
Collin Funkhouser 1:16:58
come with washer dryer. Good.
1:17:01
Oh my god.
Brandon 1:17:04
Wild hub wild displays. And she was like, but you know
1:17:12
what, what she does is
Collin Funkhouser 1:17:14
she'll she'll actually have them sit down and go, Okay. How much you currently currently paying for your mortgage? Plus your insurance? Okay, well, let's figure that in how much you paying on food and utilities. Because again, these people are living on like 7000 square foot apartment complex, their houses and larger, this talk about your utilities to talk about this. Let's talk about that. Talk about yours. Now, what if we had all of that already included? And these people are going oh, that's a steal?
Brandon 1:17:40
I'm going what?
1:17:46
How is that even possible? And that's what she has worked. And she is just a to court?
Collin Funkhouser 1:17:57
People so it's a long she said usually? It's like six months before? Oh, yeah. You know, as people are making this thing. They've partnered with some of the huge national and international corporations that are based out of town to offer this as
Brandon 1:18:18
a as a as a
Collin Funkhouser 1:18:22
part of their compensation package to their C suite executives.
Brandon 1:18:26
Oh my Lord. Yes.
1:18:33
That's wild. Holy cow.
Brandon 1:18:36
That's insane. My brain is broken, right? Like I just don't.
1:18:47
Yeah. And it's just it's a whole different way I sent you the link to the, to this place. And you can take
Collin Funkhouser 1:18:59
a virtual tour you can learn about their dining, you can learn about their amenities. But it yeah, when you like, look at all this stuff. Oh, okay. Like, you know, cutting green have a full like library game lounge craft room.
1:19:14
Ah,
1:19:16
you know, it's it's wild. This what they are with their charge. So,
Collin Funkhouser 1:19:21
anyway, originally, they were designed to be for 55 Plus, but what they found was there were a lot of millennials. And that kind of that crowd who were like, You know what, I I'm an executive. And I don't want to I've rented all of my life. I don't want to go get a home right now. I don't need it. So I would like to live here. And they hated they are.
Brandon 1:19:49
Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Nice. That is correct. Easy. When
Collin Funkhouser 1:20:00
you first walk into the state again, it's like a cruise ship you walk in this super tall and the front doors as you approach them there, it's these huge double doors, big glass and steel doors. They open they open up automatically as you approach based off of a sensor. And still like, again, it's very much a unit. It literally is a you don't touch anything while you're here. Like we take care of everything. And that's the immediate feeling you get walking into this place.
Brandon 1:20:33
It's wild. Oh, okay. That is that's that's a weird spot for that too. I was not expecting that to be where that was. Right? That's really kind of wild. Right? Like, what in the world wow,
Collin Funkhouser 1:20:55
I would not expect it to be there. And on that side of town would No,
Brandon 1:20:59
no, I did not. It's like great. Yeah, I was like, Where is this? And I looked at I saw the map findings. What in the world? It just stuck back in there and the guy is too crazy. Mm hmm. Now it's that's wild. Wow.
1:21:25
Yeah, right, right. Little old queen city.
Brandon 1:21:28
Yeah. All right. It's stuck in a random corner of Springfield. Who knew? Who knew? Yeah. Not me. feared that crazy Well, alright, mind my brain is officially cooked. I really know how it is just so weird. I just don't. Oh, man. I mean, it's really not that different from like,
1:22:12
a country club type situation. Right? Yep. It
Brandon 1:22:16
kind of reminds me that vibe. Right? But just like more you know, I mean, like, it's like, what if it was a country club but like, extra that's kinda prank to 11 Yeah, yeah, the country club experience cranks to 11 I think about that. It's just saw man a brain it's just It's nuts. It Yeah,
Collin Funkhouser 1:22:51
it's a it's a very interesting very interesting place
Brandon 1:22:55
and wasn't too far off with the Wally COVID comparison I really like yeah, it's you know,
Collin Funkhouser 1:23:08
I see anyway the place is just it's still very new. I think it's less than a year old. Yeah, looks pretty new. And they are not quite at they're not yet to 50% capacity
Brandon 1:23:24
there it's a slow build Well yeah, I mean that's got to be a kind of a hard sell right that's a very limited demographic right there you're targeting there Oh, sorry. I mean, cling on to that I remember members are of course I'm sorry there but man wow that's crazy as absolutely insane I can't Wow cool wow. Yeah, it's something I don't know
Collin Funkhouser 1:24:06
so I mean yeah, that's what we had to go see there and it was interesting because the lady was like, Hey, good to see you again because I'm trying to I met what I the reason I try and go to the this biz blitz stuff is because I met the the membership director at a biz Blitz. And so as she was talking, I was just staring her down and then when it came to my turn, I started talking and she was staring me down and she was like, We need to talk when you're done. We need to talk to have it okay. So it's good to catch up. And ever since then, it was a big tease of like, do we have a put your name pencil your name on a place you know, and I'm like Ha
Brandon 1:24:50
ya to walk their dog.
Collin Funkhouser 1:24:54
No, I should try and negotiate I'll be I will be your in house. Like I will personally walk people's dogs and take care of the cats if you give me Oh, I don't know 5000 I don't know let's say that I'll do it for free I'll take care of their pets for free. Oh man,
Brandon 1:25:15
if you cut out this Yeah, sizable chunk
Collin Funkhouser 1:25:21
you know, very reasonable chunk, I
Brandon 1:25:24
guess. Oh, yeah.
1:25:24
Yeah yeah,
Collin Funkhouser 1:25:29
you can that's something you can sleep on tonight.
Brandon 1:25:32
Oh, yeah. Yes. Because teacher salaries definitely allow for this sort of
Collin Funkhouser 1:25:40
everybody's always known this
Brandon 1:25:48
better hope his poetry book sells a lot of units. I know. Yeah. Speaking of speaking of to wrap up this week's endeavor right to mend my brain from this just like traumatic event that has occurred, this glimpse into dystopia.
Collin Funkhouser 1:26:12
Pretty marble everywhere. Marble.
Brandon 1:26:17
I bet better be real marble. Right? Yeah. Fake. No, Missouri marble. Gosh, actually just limestone. Right. Like it's gone.
Collin Funkhouser 1:26:26
No, no. I'm going to dredge the depths of my brain. I was told how much they spent building this
Brandon 1:26:34
apartment complex
Collin Funkhouser 1:26:39
$55 million.
Brandon 1:26:40
Oh I bed or more?
Collin Funkhouser 1:26:42
Yeah, some astronomical number of less like i Okay, key. I'm gonna sit over here anyway. Yeah, that'd be real
Brandon 1:26:52
white marble. Better be like all the wood better not be like walnut organy mahogany ebony. Yes like Brazilian rosewood all in it Bird's Eye maple like the fancy stuff right now there's like plain Jane that nighttime movie no pine in here right get out shouty? Well as a bit of a change of pace, right. Perhaps we will slow down for this haiku. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, me ready Shall we ready?
1:27:41
Yes.
Brandon 1:27:42
Okay terrific. Reptile leisurely moving through time. outliving us all
1:27:59
sourdough that's about it
Collin Funkhouser 1:28:06
you going there? It's also true but
Brandon 1:28:11
is it a warning do they know more than they're letting on right what are these tortoises keeping the secret from us right
Collin Funkhouser 1:28:20
we don't know if we know Yeah, what is the veiled threat only they'll know and only they'll know and they won't tell you now. Unfortunately I love it. Okay, very good. Very good. See? See episode 231 It weathered really hard. It's
Brandon 1:28:44
been excellent. To learn more about why we talked about tortoises for very long time.
Collin Funkhouser 1:28:49
Yes. Yes. Too long
Brandon 1:28:52
Okay another bit of a shocking moment actually two back to back shockers from Colin here
Collin Funkhouser 1:28:59
I'll try and keep keep digging do my best also also crazy to note we're coming up on already happier four and a half years Wow really was that episode is that wild? Oh yeah. Yeah. Episode we're on episode according to my very highly inaccurate counting I think we're on episode 200 This is this would be this episode 232 Wow. So yeah. But when you have to take our time and just like our friendly leisurely moving reptiles, we will put thought consideration to it or felt about entirely and rush at the last minute to get it's mostly that one will stay true to form till the end. Yes.
Brandon 1:29:58
Switch it up on you now. Yeah, I
Collin Funkhouser 1:29:59
know. which the turtles will see some therapy reading through them hold
1:30:03
us accountable.
Collin Funkhouser 1:30:06
Oh gosh, the skinny Okay, yeah, I think that your dystopian future of wallet came well, we better we're gonna pull the ripcord on this one and we'll chat appease our tortoise overlords. Go grab some lettuce until all right