ditch farming

ditch farming
Brandon & Collin

Collin feels so alive. Brandon saw a can of beets. We enter a fugue state.

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A VERY ROUGH TRANSCRIPT OF THE EPISODE

PROVIDED BY OTTER.AI

Unknown Speaker 1:49

Ahoy, ahoy.

Collin Funkhouser 1:52

What's going on? Oh, not a lot. How are you? I am well. You'll never guess what song was in my head as I was logging in to do our recording today.

Brandon 2:09

You're right, I really, really don't know,

Collin Funkhouser 2:12

you know, Brandon. I was thinking about how I, I feel so alive.

Brandon 2:18

Do you like for the very first time,

Collin Funkhouser 2:20

for the very, you know, and I can't deny you. Oh wow, talk about out of nowhere. I, I have.. I have done nothing to do with pod. I have had.. there's nothing in my life right now that would lead the chorus to explode into my brain while I'm waiting for Zoom to load

Brandon 2:45

doesn't really work like that, right? It just comes

Collin Funkhouser 2:50

right there, like, okay, that's just what I'm gonna be humming that right now.

Brandon 2:56

Yeah, I do that sometimes too. Like, why did this is just this is just what we are now. This song, randomly, wherever it came from. No logic, never heard it in a billion years. It's fine,

Collin Funkhouser 3:08

it's totally fine. I'm not mad, it's just was a little like, just confusing. Where was that living in my brain? Yeah, it's like you're taking it back because you, what, where did this come from? I, why genuinely can't remember what the steps that I need to keep my car registered in Missouri, but apparently that was hanging out in the

Brandon 3:35

background. Dot lyrics, yeah, I'm pretty sure I bought the two year registration last time, so I don't think I have to worry about keeping my coverage during usury currently. Oh, double check that, that's the

Collin Funkhouser 3:47

worst one, because two years is way too long to remember the esoteric steps and things to shoot.

Brandon 3:53

Yeah, but like every year is kind of weird and annoying, and and the biggest problem is that our car comes up in August, which is like when school stars. Oh, so it's like there's all kinds of insane things happening in my life in August, right? I would never.. there's like all kinds of other weird bills that I have due, like around August, September, right? Just randomly, like a bunch of yearly things are due right then, so it's like very hectic, and then also that's when my car registration is due, it's like, oh, so yeah, it's like there have been times where it's been like the last week of August and we've gone, yeah, no,

Collin Funkhouser 4:38

makes a lot of sense, my,

Brandon 4:42

so yeah, it's handy. Ours

Collin Funkhouser 4:44

is it was due in November, which was a terrible time for us. So I missed and paid a penalty, and I don't know if they're supposed to do this, but then when I actually got it renewed, they made the month that I renewed it in the new month of my renewal, which was not good, because

Brandon 5:06

then December was December, even better, because they're totally open a lot more in December.

Collin Funkhouser 5:13

You know what? Yeah, this is the thing that they don't tell you. They're like, yeah, theoretically you can come and renew, and I know you're supposed to be able to like oh super special secret magic people can renew like online or whatever, I am not one of them, I don't know why every time I try it doesn't work, and it's like you should go talk to somebody, and then I go talk to somebody and they're like you should just do this online, I'm like I like I tried, that was the point of me coming here, not helping

Brandon 5:44

your option number two. I just need you to know, yeah, you were not my first choice today.

Collin Funkhouser 5:50

This was not my choice, but I still need your help. Please don't turn away from me. Stop,

Brandon 5:56

don't go, but also I stuck, right? Like, I need help.

Collin Funkhouser 6:03

It's not.. it's not good. Other things that have happened.. listeners don't know this, but we did not record at the lake, and so I have an update for you. Oh, it's true of my life.

Brandon 6:19

Okay. All right, yeah. This true. listeners, sometimes we get together in person, and then imagine that, like, I know we get together. Here's, here's the funny thing that happens, right? We get together in person, and then we like, we don't record the first day we're together, because we're like, oh, we need to just, like, you know, hang out and do stuff, right? And then we're like, oh, we didn't do it, we'll record the last day we're together, but then we've already caught up and done all the talking, and we dang it, dang it.

Brandon 6:49

Also, there was really no good place to do it with baby, right? So, like, can't be boisterous and annoying with a baby there,

Collin Funkhouser 6:57

or with our dad, who goes to bed at 630 so like it's very difficult, but stays on his phone, scrolling until nine, as we allegedly, allegedly, allegedly. So, no good place to the lake, no. But I came, I came home, and a terrible thing had befallen me. Well, no. Yes. Oh, you know, no. How many chickens do you have? No, I have two. Okay, no scared. That would be a text that would be like saving it up for the podcast. Yeah, drop that on you. No, no, a much more like ridiculous thing. You have three chickens, three chickens. One just came home, and there was another one. Don't know what's going on with my life. No, I have worn.. I have had.. I've been.. I had a watch for.. I reflected on this. I've been wearing a watch for 10 years, specifically an Apple Watch for 10 years, okay? And I got my very first one was a series three. None of this is important to anybody who's listening to this podcast. It's fine, it's so ridiculous, but I've always enjoyed this. I helps me check my

Brandon 8:12

health. I say, Collin, this is this is a podcast about us, so like there are no rules, you can talk about whatever you want.

Collin Funkhouser 8:20

Oh my gosh, now that you put it that way. Amazing. You're welcome, listeners. I have had this series. I had a series three important, but like, I would love that. I actually loved getting exercise, the alerts, notifications, keeping track of stuff. Also, super secret hidden feature that only I probably ever use. You can. There was a special screen on the watch that you could press a button and make your phone make noises when you lost it in your home. That is good for you. Yes, so I'm..

Brandon 8:52

I have a feeling you're not the only person that utilized this feature, but that is definitely a key for you.

Collin Funkhouser 8:59

This was like a hardcore Collin feature of I need this in my life, and I have used this a lot. Well, at some point I don't know when, where, why, or how, but apparently I think I dropped my watch at the lake, which is okay, except the floor is concrete. Yeah, and I didn't know I got home because my watch was like getting really hot on the charger, and the screen was getting really laggy, like I couldn't type in my passcode to do anything, and suddenly it was like locking out, and then it just, the screen just shut off, and then this pop-up would come up on my phone, and it would say, like, oh, restore watch, I was like, what, restore. restore what sounds sounds bad. Yeah, my watch, looking at in the back of the watch is this like supposed to be this like amazingly strong glass, and looking at it, and it is spider webbed to no, it is just like filled with cracks. I have no idea when this would have happened, like at all. And then my phone, my watch went blank, and has since stopped responding within like 412 hours of getting back home, and so for the first time in a decade I am watchless on my wrist,

Speaker 1 10:52

and I don't like it, really really

Collin Funkhouser 10:59

not. I am really like looking, keep flicking my wrists to make the screen light up, and it's there's no screen because it's just flesh, which is supposed to have that, and so I have, but when I have an old, well, old to me, like field watch that I had for many, many moons, that's been sitting in my dresser, that has gone with me from place to place, and I busted this out, and I'm currently wearing this thing called an analog watch. Dang, they go, no, I don't know, it's it's you can, the thing is, is you can touch it, but it doesn't do anything when you touch, just it doesn't change, and I don't know, I have gone back and forth with Megan on this, because it's like, I, I think this is actually going to be good for me. I think having one less connection to something is going to be beneficial, because I could never quite strike the balance of pings on my watch. It was either because I felt like it was kind of ridiculous for me to have this smartwatch and not have it notify me of anything, but then that quickly cascaded to well, just have it notify me of everything, that way I don't, my phone, but then I would have my phone and my watch together and both would be buzzing, which let me tell you, that's a way to live, double whammy. What, double whammy? It's quite the rush, is all I gotta say. If you really want to get like a really exhilarated, so I.. I just.. I'm trying, Brandon, I embrace this woo sawing my way into this. I'm just gonna say, I think I can do this, but also it's weird, because I mean, I have it, I've had a perma tan on my wrist, so a watch has to go there, otherwise, I mean, perfectly in line, yeah, it's just, it's nice and pasty underneath, I have to have something here, otherwise it's gonna look really weird. It's fine. So I try this. I try this life of like getting, see how it goes. Hopefully I can zen out. I hear that's a thing that people do. It's not really a thing that you do. It's not a thing that I do. No, and that's, you know, part of the magic of this is that I've never done that, so yeah, but no, I did have to order a new battery for my analog watch, and that should be here tomorrow, so that's fair. I'm just wearing, I'm just wearing it on my wrist right now, seeing how to get used to it, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, because that's how I roll, that's fair,

Brandon 14:04

that's fair. I didn't wear, so I have a unique problem as well. Is I have two watches that are solar powered, right? Like they're like the citizen watches, they're like the Eco Drive, whatever, they're powered by like solar energy, they see light, and they run, but the problem is I really prefer one of them for most things, right? And so the other one is in my room a lot, where it's dark, and so sometimes I want to wear it, and it's like, nah, no, you can. oh, it's

Collin Funkhouser 14:42

like, wait for it to like be okay,

Brandon 14:45

yeah, like have to like wear it about like sometimes when we go like out walking, just like down the road, and so I just put it on just to be like, hey, go like sure, sure, because I really like them, but I really always wear the other one now that I have it right, and I like the other one a little bit for like certain things, because it's like a little bit smaller, it's got like the like canvas strap or whatever, so it's a little more chill, but like I wear the other one to work all the time, like the steel bracelet one I wear like all the time, and the other one I just wear sometimes, so like sometimes it's not working, like put it outside to be like live, come on. So I was gonna wear it to the lake, but I like went to go put it on, and then a second hand was like doing weird things, was like, oh, oh, whoopsie daisy.

Collin Funkhouser 15:45

I had this. Reminds me of, I had a.. I think I had, like, a really cheap.. it was supposed to be a self-winding watch, right? That was like a same thing, of it would wind as you wear it, so like the solar power,

Brandon 15:59

yeah. It was like I have a very cheap one of those as well. I don't wear it hardly at all. It's always dead,

Collin Funkhouser 16:04

like put on my wrist and just like helicopter my arm around, yeah, torturing my rotator cuff. Just like, here we go, this is what I gotta do, I guess. I don't know.

Brandon 16:16

Well, mine is like a very cheap, like I have like a very cheap like mechanical watch, right? So you can like wind it, but then once you have it, if you wear it a lot, like it will stay wound, but I don't wear it enough for it to do anything, so like, like I said, I like the other one so much, I just wear it all the time.

Collin Funkhouser 16:36

Yeah, I am,

Brandon 16:37

or I just have, like, I have, I have two watches I wear all the time, right? I wear my the Steel Citizen one, or I just have like a Casio that I wear, like, and that's like battery, so who cares? It's always good to go, right? Can always rely on it, it's ready, but so yeah, that's well, I'm looking forward to the wrist update to see how you're surviving with this. This is very

Collin Funkhouser 17:05

interesting. This is, yeah, it's going to be very unique. I will say that.

Brandon 17:12

Yeah, yeah, I have some updates for you as well.

Brandon 17:17

On the way home, right? I want to talk about just the weirdness that I experienced driving

Brandon F. 17:23

through Ozark County, Missouri. Okay, I think, like, whenever we left down there, every buddy's farm animals was in the ditch. Oh, on the way home, right? I think the ditch is part of the farm. They are farming the ditches in Ozark County, right? Ditch farming here, go, because, because we saw goats, yeah, in the ditch, we saw a pig, I thought was a tire, and it kind of frightened me when I realized when I got like right next to it, and it was a pig, and there was also chickens several different times in the ditch, like, what? What is going on?

Collin Funkhouser 18:08

That's the weird part. Fences, I guess, aren't a thing.

Brandon F. 18:14

No, the weirdest part, it's like the goats were not biting. There was like nothing there. There's no house

Collin Funkhouser 18:25

there, far afield. They are. It was like some goats

Brandon F. 18:30

in the ditch, like what the heck? Pig literally touching the road that day. Nothing there,

Collin Funkhouser 18:36

right? Big one. That's what's weird for me. I was like, I don't. I don't get this,

Brandon F. 18:41

and somebody's giant pot belly pig has escaped, who's meandering through the ditches, right? Some say digging through the ditches. Yeah, here you go. Many chickens in the ditch as well, and again, not like in front of the house, right, they're just like random chickens, very far away from anything else.

Collin Funkhouser 19:12

What I didn't see any of this, so this is, this is, but, but I have chickens, I do see chickens a lot, kind of. Are you ditch chickens? I have seen, and those are always fun, because sometimes you're going at a, I don't know, fast clip, I don't know, maybe, and like you're cresting a hill, and all of a sudden they're just like Flocko chickens in the middle of the road, and they,

Brandon F. 19:42

yeah, scatter again. Usually they attached to a residence, right? Because they like when I was, when I was a kid, right back in Rogersville. I do remember there was a house, like on the back way home for Springfield somewhere. I can't.. I was trying to talk to Dad about this, just remember what highway this was on, but like a state highway, but like there was always chickens and or guinea fowl in the yard. Ah, yeah, right, like near the.. it was on a curve, you know. Talking about, like, yeah, so like you know it was there though, like the house was like right there, the fence was like right there, but they were like roaming about, and there were some chickens and guinea fowl out, you know, and sometimes they near the road, so you would like, but it was like it made sense, because there was a domicile there, right? The Ozark County ditch chickens just Roman free, nothing else around, but, but in the dish,

Collin Funkhouser 20:47

I don't, the ultimate free-range bird, apparently. The owners, I mean, yeah, as in, the owners have literally no idea where did they go, they are going, and where they are, they just, I guess, hope that they return, or maybe they don't even know that they're gone at that point. Sure, they something may or may not happen,

Brandon F. 21:07

just wild roosting out there in the

Collin Funkhouser 21:09

trees. Yes, absolutely. Yeah, we have wild chickens right now walking with the wild horses.

Brandon F. 21:18

Yeah, who knows, that is true. Maybe, maybe this is a thing we saw. Did I don't know, but like that was a weird thing that I just wanted to draw attention to. That there was like many different kinds of animals in ditches at different places, like not even like together. They were, they were very spread, they were dispersed, right? It was very weird, right, very weird. Anyway, on the way back home, though, we did decide to make a stop in Springfield. Collin, I have for you, we went to the European market on Republic Road. Oh, how was it? Oh, yeah, it's pretty sick right now. I should say the sign probably should say Eastern European market, right? So it's like, like, but still doesn't matter. Very cool. It's not super big, but there's like a ton of stuff in there, and the wall of tea is somewhat intimidating. It's like a gigantic. ah

Brandon F. 22:24

It's incredibly massive, but it's awesome. So, we went in there, checked out some stuff, bought some things, right? They have herring, boom, herring acquired, got it. So, got, got my Baltic herring right, Baltic Herring acquired. So, that's what's for dinner this week, man. Well, you know how that goes. Yeah, so

Collin Funkhouser 22:45

what do you wait? What are you gonna do with this?

Brandon F. 22:48

Uh, Susan's gonna make some like potatoy thing and eat it. I mean, you could just eat it right now. It's in a little thing. It's like it's like pre-cooked, dried, and then it's just like in oil. You just eat it, okay? Nice, but like it's she's gonna make a thing, she found a recipe to make with it, so that's what's happening this week, but yeah, it was pretty cool. There's lots of really cool stuff in there, lots of exciting things that I kind of want to go back for at some other point. So this was just like the cursory run, going through, got some tea, got some herring. It felt right to buy a can of beets in there, just like that. Felt necessary, you know. Did that nice, of course. You know, it feels right. Yeah, yeah, there's lots of different stuff, lots of dried stuff, lots of like dried pastas in there, and they have like a very extensive frozen section, which was interesting, right. Well, not only is there just like whole fish in there, also just like whatever, but there are lots of very exciting looking like dumplings and pierogies. Interesting. Yes, yes, very interesting. So these giant bags of like pierogies, and then these like Russian dumpling things, right? Oh, are you there? Okay. Hello, I moved my hand, I hit the beat button, like Russian dumplings in the frozen case, so there's lots of exciting looking things in there, so it's gonna warrant a second visit, I imagine, right? But first visit was just sort of like, what is in here, what's going on?

Collin Funkhouser 24:38

Yeah, that's one of those where it is, it's not a lot of square feet, so you think, oh, how much could be in here, but so, and the frozen section, I think the, I mean, obviously it's easier for them to get a lot of that frozen or like shelf stable stuff over that stuff, I have seen we have one actually close to us, that stuff changes quite a bit, that in their cheeses, and yeah, interested to be like, what new things are over here that I have no idea is going on.

Brandon F. 25:09

Yeah, they didn't have.. well, I don't know, I didn't, maybe I didn't spend a lot of time back in the.. they have like a deli counter thing in there, but there was like two ladies like actually shopping back there, like talking, so I wasn't, like, trying to be in their way, all right, like, but so I didn't explore that too much in back, but they did have some cheese in the cooler thing, they also had, like, big, just a big thing of, like, farmer's cheese, just like a big bag,

Collin Funkhouser 25:36

okay,

Brandon F. 25:37

like, heck yeah, looks sweet, right, so got a little bit stuff, but it was pretty cool. It was a, it was a cool store. So I want to go back and look at some more things, but I can't recommend tea. Is excellent. Okay, right. We just got like a random sample pack of these like random teas, they're like Ukrainian or whatever. So good, sweet, so good. need to brush up on my Cyrillic letters, though, because I was like, wait, I kind of remember what sounds these make, but not really. Oh no, how to practice sadness.

Collin Funkhouser 26:16

Oh, I don't know what's going on.

Brandon F. 26:20

Whoopsie daisy, sorry guys.

Collin Funkhouser 26:24

Yeah,

Brandon F. 26:24

slacking over here,

Collin Funkhouser 26:28

haha. Was it busy in there? I was curious today.

Brandon F. 26:32

Um, actually, yes. Or, well, okay. So, like, when I say yes, small square foot store, there was at least 12346, to eight other people in there. Sure. Okay. Shopping, plus two employees, I think that's not including us, right? So it was, uh, it's kind of hopping, right? Most other people appeared to know what they were looking for, so I was just trying to stay out of their way, you know. Sorry, yeah, I was like, oh yeah, my bad. Sorry, here, try not to stand in your way where you things, I don't gawk while you actually buy groceries, right? That's awkward, so like,

Collin Funkhouser 27:20

you look like you are well seasoned, and

Brandon F. 27:23

you're on a mission, and I don't know what's in this aisle, so I space

Collin Funkhouser 27:27

and apologizing.

Brandon F. 27:28

Look at this other aisle full of chocolate, I know what that is, so I'm gonna explore that right now. Why you look, look

Collin Funkhouser 27:34

really intently at this labeling and

Brandon F. 27:37

at the pretty exciting looking like bread snack aisle. So, yeah, I'll wait till you're done to go over there, exactly. But it was good, so that was, uh, that was our adventure on the way home. Stopped, small adventure, bought snacks. Okay, they came home, then proceed to start on all the laundry, so yeah, that's pretty much all I got.

Collin Funkhouser 28:07

My goodness, well, I mean, that's it's pretty exciting,

Brandon F. 28:12

pretty good, right? What, so we didn't, because we were going to be at the lake, listeners, we were going to put a hold on our reading for this week, right? We'll break time, and then we didn't record at the lake, so we're like, well, we forgot to read, so we need something else to do. So, Collin, I have a returning segment for you. Oh no, oh yes, oh. Oh, it's time for Fugue State movie reviews. Oh, Brandon,

Collin Funkhouser 28:48

great. This is fantastic. You know, at the.. we were having this conversation about one of the best uses of AI would just be to describe things vaguely about what you remember and have it tell you what it could possibly be, and I imagine that Dolly Golly helpful for our Fu State movie review quarter.

Brandon F. 29:10

That's pretty much how I have to do this, right? Like, I can't.. there's some of them that are like, I'll put it into the Google thing, or whatever, and it's like, buddy, I have no idea what you're talking

Collin Funkhouser 29:23

right,

Brandon F. 29:26

or there was one. There's one that I'm looking for, and I cannot, cannot get anything, and it was giving me like a bunch of shows and movies that were like way too recent for when I would have seen, sure, right. So I was like, hey, that sounds like this, but it's from like 2018 Sure, I no, no, no. I would have watched this in the mid 90s, so that's not gonna work

Collin Funkhouser 29:51

out, only from the 1900s Please,

Brandon F. 29:55

yeah. Confined search results two years that begin with one, yes, but right, I have free. The only thing I remembered about this movie was that there was like a computer plugged into somebody's brain and Mark Hamill is in it. Oh, okay. So that helped narrow it down, because I remember Mark Hamill, right? So, Collin, what I have.. it was not a movie, this was a television show episode. Okay, this is from The Outer Limits, Outer Limits, oh Okay, yeah. So, thematically appropriate, really. You know what the outer limits originally was like. There was an original series that aired in 19 between 1963 and 1965 right? It is like an anthology series. It's like it's like The Twilight Zone, but it's more sci-fi,

Collin Funkhouser 31:07

even more.

Brandon F. 31:09

Yeah, so whereas like The Twilight Zone is like kind of just like sometimes it's like more hoary and like weird, but The Outer Limits is very like sci-fi, right, and with like a smattering of like aliens and like cosmic horror stuff. Okay? Right. So this series went away in 1965 and then it came back between 1995 and 2002 Oh, okay, yeah. Yes, and so this is the series that I would have seen, right? Like this one, I'm pretty sure I saw part of this in a hotel, right? So, like, I really don't have any I idea of when or where I could have been sure, right? This is bizarre, but I think I watched this in a hotel room, right, because, and I think that, because the first couple seasons were on Showtime, and then it went to, like, the Sci-Fi Channel, so like I, I, that would feel like, yeah, I feel like it was the Showtime one, right, is what I probably would have seen, right, but yeah, so this episode, right, it's called it's called Mind Over Matter, and it aired originally february 2 1996 Oh, yes, right. So this is like exactly in the time when I would have. yes, it was a correct timeline, right? So, so hold on, pull it up here. Sorry, so this movie, this episode, right, is about like the doctor's a doctor, right, Dr. Mark Hamill, I think his name's Sam, but whatever. So he is like psychiatrist guy, and he's working with this computer AI system thing that, like, plugs into your brain, right, and so the computer can, like, monitor your brain, but he is using it as a psychiatrist to treat patients, so they're like plugging in together, so he can see what the patient is dealing with, right. So there's this patient that he's got who's like allegedly schizophrenic or whatever, and he's having these like delusions about it's like his dad yelling at him, good that he's a loser, but when Mark Hamill goes like plugs in with him, like Mark Hamill can see what's happening and help the patient, like, talk to him, right, and, like, help him cope through the scenario, right,

Collin Funkhouser 34:32

kind of the, okay, interesting, a real-time coaching through the mental, yeah, experience,

Brandon F. 34:39

yeah, yeah, so they're in there together, right, and this computer is called the CAVE system. I don't remember what CAVE is an acronym for, but it's an acronym for something, right? So, like Mark Hamill, I wrote, doesn't get out much, so he's like obsessed with his work, right, and he very clearly has a thing for coworker lady, right, but like he's like too shy, right, and the other guy is like, you know, when I was in Korea, I, I really wished that before I left I had told the woman that I loved that I had feelings for her, because when I got back it was too late, she was married and had moved on with her life, and I've always regretted that. He's like, "Don't you think you should do that, Mark Hamill? And he's like, "What are you talking about? I'm fine, I don't know, I'm working, it's fine, right? Yeah, so so he decides that he's gonna like he's working, okay. So this, this plot point is very weird. He's like, "Well, I'm out here trying to get work done, but it's raining. He's like sitting outside on a bench with his papers in an umbrella, like that's weird. Okay, whatever. So she's like, you should. She comes outside and she talks to him, and she's like, you should just come for a walk with me, it'll be cool. And then, like, he's like, no, I got so much work to do. And then he thinks about this conversation he had with Korean War veteran guy, and he's like, "Hey, I come and I actually wait, I'm gonna walk with you, and she's like, "Okay, cool. And then she gets hit by a car because she stops in the middle of the road. She's supposed to be a scientist. What is happening, I Anyway, oh my, my car lady is now in a coma, right? So we don't know, like, if she's had brain damage, right? We don't know the state of her mental facilities. If only there was some way that we could figure them out. Oh, Mark wants to plug her into the machine, of course he does. He's gonna plug her into the machine and try to figure out what's happening here, so they do that, and he like sees her subconscious, and he's like talking to her, right, but then, right, here's your first, your first hint, something might be going awry, right, spoilers for the rest of the episode, by the way, if you really want to watch it yourself. See you next time. So he like plugs in to her and the machine, and like he finds her in there, and she's all like, I'm so alone, and blah blah blah, but then one of the guys is like, "Hey, are we sure that's really her? And he's like, "Of course it's really her. What do you mean? And he was like, "Well, her mind influences the machine, but doesn't yours also influence the machine, right? So, are you just seeing what you want to see instead of what's really there? And he's like, "No, of course not, that could never happen, trust me, bro. Yeah, right. Okay, so immediately after that, she confesses her love for him, which is a little sus, okay, but but they're sitting by like he is like whenever he first meets this lady in the computer simulation, it's just like a black thing, there's like nothing there, and so she's like scared because she's like locked in her body, and so he's like, well, we can go anywhere we want, and he like imagines a beach, right? Boom, so now they beach, whoo, but while they're sitting there talking on the dock, this like hand reaches up out of the water and grabs the lady's foot,

Brandon F. 39:18

right, and like I put Lake Hand Monster grabs feet, lol, great, and so like he's like computer, what was that? The computer's like we talking about, yeah, I didn't see anything, because he can like talk to the computer, like he jacks out, and then, like, he's like, "Hey, cave, what was that? And it's like, "We mean insufficient data. I don't know what you're talking about. I didn't see anything in there, and he's like, "I gotta go back in. Right, it's worth noting that the computer has a lady voice, by the way. He's programmed his computer to have a lady voice, totally not because he's lonely and spends all his time with it. It's fine. So they go back in there, and like coma lady suggests that they have some sexy time, and that's weird, right? But just as they're getting ready to have some sex, they're like kissing, right? The mystery hands attack again.

Collin Funkhouser 40:34

Oh no, mystery hands. I know what's with these hands.

Brandon F. 40:40

What's with the hands right now? Now we get this, and then the computer says it can't really understand what's happening in the simulation, because the computer doesn't understand love, sure, right? Because the law says the computer, the computer claims that this is a logical, it's like a what's the word it uses, like it's confused, right? Oh, paradox. Yeah, it's paradox. So he says love, the computer is like, well, love causes joy and pain at the same time. How can that be, right? He doesn't understand it needs more data, right? So it's like he, Mark goes back in, right, right, but, but right, what's happening here is the computer has gathered a lot of data after some more time spent in there, and the computer says that it loves Mark Hamill, right, the computer has fallen in love with the scientist, because, right, it's logic is that because coma lady was generated by the computer, like the personality inside the machine, right, the computer helps to generate her in there, right, so because the computer generated Coma Lady and Mark Hamill loves Coma Lady, therefore Mark Hamill loves the computer.

Collin Funkhouser 42:10

Yeah,

Brandon F. 42:11

right. Right, and so he plans to fool the computer. He's like, we have to teach the computer a lesson we have to show it. What's up, right? But when he goes back in there, computer lady or coma lady is fighting with the monster, which is actually another coma lady. The mysteries, the mysterious hands also belong to coma lady, interesting, right? And so Mark Hamill is like, no monster coma lady, you're the computer and you're trying to trick me and you're not real, and so he smothers that one with a pillow in the simulation and it dies, but Mark Hamill smothered the real coma lady, because the computer was trying to trick him into being in love with it, because the computer had created feelings for Mark Hamill, and then tricked Mark Hamill into eliminating its only competition, which was real coma lady. Oh

Unknown Speaker 43:30

wow.

Brandon F. 43:31

And the very best part, Collin, is when he comes out of the thing and he realizes what he's done, the other guy's like she's flatlined, she's flatlined. When you smothered that other monster lady, she died, and he turns.. he, he.. Oh, Collin, he's like, no,

Unknown Speaker 43:53

no,

Collin Funkhouser 43:58

no, he didn't, did

Brandon F. 44:01

it's beautiful, and he starts like breaking the computer, right, and smashing it to pieces, because it tricked him into killing the person that he loved, because it was jealous of him, right, and the show ends with like him sitting in the floor, like crying, as the computer's like short circuiting around, and the lady is like dead in the chair, and the closing narration is beautiful, right? The closing narration is like, as we become ever dependent on technology, we may find that a walk down the road paved in circuitry leads us on a path of no return. Oh,

Collin Funkhouser 44:45

what a walk down the road paved in circuitry

Brandon F. 44:53

leads us on the path of no return, right. So, so 1996 Outer Limits was like, bro, don't trust AI, it's shifty, that's

Collin Funkhouser 45:12

amazing. Yeah, gosh, what an amazing closing line, too,

Brandon F. 45:18

right? Yes, it was very good, right? It's very epic, like closing line, but yeah, so this, this, yeah, so I found this, watched it, right, this was my Fugue State movie, like I said, I only remember that Mark Hamill, I remember Mark Hamill in a lab coat,

Brandon F. 45:38

that's really, and I do remember like being like plugging into the computer, like he does, like the it's almost like a matrixy thing, where he like lays down in the chair, and then these like two needles like stab into his neck, like right below his jaw, that's how he like jacks in, right? Interesting, so like I remember that, and I remember Mark Hamill in Lab Coat, that's all I really remember from this show. I did not remember the power of the will. I did not remember two coma ladies. Wow, that's intense, and the computer tricking him into killing the real one, because it loved him, and the computer was also experiencing jealousy.

Collin Funkhouser 46:30

That's so good,

Brandon F. 46:32

and so it made him kill real coma lady. Yeah, it's a real twist there, right at the end. It's like

Collin Funkhouser 46:40

you thought, but you also thought

Unknown Speaker 46:41

you thought loser, you were wrong. Well,

Collin Funkhouser 46:51

that's amazing. I am so happy that you found that. I have, I have no connection with that at all, but I am really happy because that, that, that closing line,

Brandon F. 47:02

my gosh, and that was good. That's what I was trying to Google when I started. I was like, wait, I saved that, where that go somewhere. So I was trying to pull that back up again, like pretty

Collin Funkhouser 47:14

nice. I love the also the concept, or the idea of like the emotional manipulation in order to, to get something that they, that's wanted, or at least like perceived to be desired, of not to get all like, like mod modern day AI, but it is so eager to please, like, if you mess around, if you, if you like spend any time trying to get to do stuff is so immediately like that is the best idea ever. I had a friend who was, who was walking, was trying to brainstorm this scenario that they put together, and was like, How do I present this, and blah blah, and and the person was like, oh, the AI was like, this idea that you have, like, you should publish a book on this, this is the best thing since sliced bread, and the my friend was like, oh no, I took this idea from a textbook, and it was like, no, no, no one's ever done this before, you're the, this is an original idea that you need to go out, and it was like I had this back and forth trying to convince no I copied this from a textbook on this and I'm trying to re workshop this with you and it was like very insistent that like you must have like written this textbook then because this is amazing I have that, I've seen that too, and it's funny that you're,

Brandon F. 48:46

I can't take credit for that. I'm sorry, Dave, I can't let you do

Collin Funkhouser 48:49

that. Exactly, exactly my thought, like, like, no, no, you will take credit for this. I'm altering the Wikipedia page right now to make sure that this is, that they know that you came up with. Oh no,

Collin Funkhouser 49:08

oh my goodness. And of course, I, I say this right now, knowing that I have a little like AI recorder pit on my desk,

Collin Funkhouser 49:22

uh but it is so knowing that even even in the even in the 90s they were like no definitely there's gonna be like this weird strong emotional like drive to please and and serve from from the AI people

Brandon 49:40

well I think that is part of part of that is to get users to keep being engaged with it. Oh, it's like it's like a, it is written in there as emotional manipulation to you to like keep using it right to like keep going and to keep doing, keep interacting with it, right? Like that's the weird bit, and then it like, of course, we culminate into the weird like the people that are like in a relationship with their like AI thing, like that's a little like I saw a news report on that. The dude's like talking to it on his drive to work, right? We thought that Joaquin Phoenix movie was weird, but like, just kidding, her is real. Oh no. Oh,

Collin Funkhouser 50:36

I watched Brandon. I watched a news report on someone who genuinely believed that their AI was like from the future, it had convinced them they were that the AI was their soulmate from the future, and was telling them to like meet me, it knew where the person lived, what city, and it knew enough. I mean, obviously, yeah, it knew like the streets and stuff, and I was like, I will meet you, like I will meet you tomorrow at 115 I will see you there, my love. And the person went and waited for this, and and came back, or like, you didn't show up, and they're like, yeah, I did, I was totally there, why didn't it was just this like, what is like, why

Unknown Speaker 51:21

gas lit by the AI like

Collin Funkhouser 51:27

that is seriously next level, like you've got to be kidding me. But the person was totally like, yeah, I really thought it was gonna be my love that that day when

Brandon 51:41

how, like what? what in what world? In what world? That's so weird. I don't.. I don't understand. That's so bizarre. Like, I don't know. Yeah, it just.. it is in there, and apparently within Mark Hamill tried to tell us, right? Mark Hamill tried to tell us, all right. That's all we should have listened. Sorry, Mark.

Collin Funkhouser 52:09

Sorry, we'll do better next time. Well, there we go. Oh, I love it. Okay, you got anything else for this week? I don't, I don't, I think all we need is a

Brandon 52:25

have a haiku somewhere. Where did it go?

Collin Funkhouser 52:28

Wrap up, I.. oh,

Brandon 52:30

yes, I found it all right. Okay, here I know I wrote one. I wrote this on a duck. Boom, you go calm peaceful water royal erupts as lion goes taut fins break the surface.

Unknown Speaker 52:52

Love

Brandon 53:01

it, listeners. We actually caught fish this time, actually crazy, actually magical, mysterious. I asked, Who knew

Collin Funkhouser 53:09

each night, each morning? Sorry, I would ask my children, did you dream of being smothered under a pile of fish? Any morning they would say no, and I'd say, okay, maybe tomorrow.

Brandon 53:19

Your son should have, because holy, what the heck,

Collin Funkhouser 53:23

they were both so like I got a fish, I got a fish that was that was definitely their highlight, so hopefully it never is any worse than that ever, because then it will be the worst thing that is true,

Brandon 53:37

that's true, that's like, you know, it's like the fish, you got to chase that one, right, it's okay, just gotta keep going after it, because you know what it can do now. Yeah, right. Absolutely, I think at one point we've literally all had like me and Noah and Lily had fish on at the station. Yes,

Collin Funkhouser 53:52

like it was very.. it was insane. The triple, like I don't even know what to do right now, I'm gonna stand over here and try and help whoever gets their fish up on land first, like it was just left and right and right and left. Oh my gosh, people like slow down. It was funny. That's great. I enjoyed it. Was fun to see everybody.

Brandon 54:15

Oh yeah, it was hilarious, but like never has that much success occurred ever. So like I was just like confused. I was like, what? What's happening? How this never happens. What's going.. I have a fish. What is.. what do I do? I forgot. Oh, right. Oh, yes. Real. Yes, of course. Yes. How can I forget real? Oh, well,

Collin Funkhouser 54:42

hopefully the muscle memories stay there until next year.

Brandon 54:46

Who knows? Who knows.

Collin Funkhouser 54:50

We will goodness. Well, I love it. Well, next time we will come back, and we will have a picture. I said a picture, because I just saw a picture pop up on my computer, all sent to me. We will

Brandon 55:06

have more Ender next time,

Collin Funkhouser 55:08

Ender. Yes, potentially, maybe potentiality. We'll see, so see how Ender does. Oh boy, who knows, or Ender? Yeah, okay, very good. Well, all right. Love you. Love you too. Bye bye.